sugar coated lil devil...

evian,spelt backwards is NAIVE!

2007-05-10T17:59:00.000+08:00

hey ya'all!
am moving from this blog~
i dun feel like deleting it tho....
quite a sentimental fool arent i ?
yes yes, i'm that.
reli cant bring myself to delete 'em.
this is probably quite like my diary....
but not THAT explicit. hehe!
yet, it reli serves it purposes of giving me space to rant,
freedom to type my mind and
let my frens,far and near, know what i'm up to.
but due to privacy and technology glitches,
will be moving as soon as possible.

notification on new blog will be posted as soon as i can. hehe! might be quite some time actually. patience is virtue ;)

hehe! duncha hate growing up? from carefree to care(full), small to BIG, short to tALL and naive to evian...omg! i bet u didnt noe when spelt backwards, its a mineral water brand! haha! actually, wads the opposite of naive? okay~ so wad i'm saying is : when did life get so complicated? feel like screaming in his face " its my life, let me live it my way!"

the wheels of the car go round and round~

2007-05-05T13:07:00.000+08:00

so i've driven a range rover, mercedez, royal saloon, cefiro, unser, land cruiser, hilux and recently, a wira. with such alot of experience with these machines, i'd thought today would be a breeze....so how come driving a kelisa isnt as easy as i thot it would be?

o... maybe its because its a lil small? and tuning isnt too good, or maybe its the old auntie on the passenger seat 'helping' me do all the clutching and braking. many times did i wonder in panic, "GAH! MY FOOT CANT FIND THE CLUTCH/BRAKE PAD!!! WE'RE GONNA CRASH! o.. she's stepping on it..." wad made it so much more harder than it is, was the auntie's hand on my steering wheel. i know i drive a lil too fast and i tend to drive a bit to one side or another, but please la, dun add more burden to me by trying to equal the weight of our hold on the steering wheel!!!

and calling me 'girlgirl' isnt helping the situation. i was so tempted to just step on the accelerator , change the gear to four or five. when attempting to enter gear five, whoa ! she said, "what's ur rush?" *gives her the evil side-look and smiles* nah.. just kidding, i didnt do that. i'm the sweeeeetest pupil she has~ all smiles and 'uh huh~'

so she kept talking about how she got started as a driving tutor and her husband is like the legendary tutor of driving. teaching three generations of one family how to drive a car to another. all the way, *inside i was doing this--> ROLLS EYES* i would give a small laugh and say, "reli? good la."

all the way , on both exam routes, it was pretty orite, nothing too hard. all the uphill and downhill stuff is kewl, absolutely love 'em! hehehe! hate bumps... had to slow down and U-turns are absolutely thirlling! its like *insert slow heart thumping sound-effect here* getting ready to jump out of a bush, to scare in-coming clients in the main office way! hahahahaha! but thats just how i felt and pictured it.

burst bubbles

2007-05-01T01:16:00.000+08:00

usually, i would wake up at 7:30am and enter the office by 8:30am to work as an accountant clerk in my dad's company. haha! being the boss's daughter, u'd think i can afford to be late but gah! i'm the accountant's apprentice. so... gawd, dun u hate rules and traditions like this?! then i work till 9.50am. get ready for work in Starbucks at 11am. would probably reach the mall by...11.45 or so. would be training till 5:30 pm. then i would continue working in my dad's company till 6:30 pm. and if i'm unlucky, my mom would be around and i'll work till the latest 7pm. sounds like torture? to me, it isnt really. got used to it.

I just work for peanuts. Like someone said earlier, u give ‘em peanuts, u get monkeys. Haha!

but it got a WHOLE lot better after getting to work in Starbucks. sounds reli weird huh? seriously, its blardy hectic and i'm not a FULL FLEDGED barista. the main thing that keeps me going-on is the genuine enthusiasm of the seniors teaching,yelling, snapping,some close to the point of just tipping the self doubt scale to the maximum.... and us, juniors having fun and some agony learning from mistakes. not much of stress once u get into the flow of things with so many others in a small space. o wells, and the smell of coffee is the absolute biggest PLUS. And the feeling of belonging somewhere and being treated NORMALLY is just like aphrodisiac! the pay is worth it, considering the fun of socializing, the hardships of being the small ‘kuli’ that everyone gets to have fun terrorizing, the experience gained and life lessons learned.

So now that I’ve resigned in starbucks , I feel abit of guilt assuaged. I’ve done my bit of atonement. After disobeying my father, will I gain his trust in me again? After openly admitting he has taken the offence of me not heeding his orders. I resigned as fast as my high heels can carry me. But he doesn’t show a bit of change in his cold treatment. Sometimes I wonder why I ‘blessed’ with so much chaos. Why cant I be a normal teenager with not much financial and family complications?

blunder-rific starbucks experience

2007-04-20T20:19:00.000+08:00

java chip, extra bold, earl grey, vanilla mocha, banana chip and many more coffee orders kept ringing in my ears. my mistake of the day: wore three inch high heels.*argh the pain!* but had major fun learning to make the drinks, giving out free frappucino as promotions, interacting with customers and so on~

manager was a guy, so he forgot to mention the dress code, and sed interview when he shud've sed its a trial run as a barista in Starbucks. he apologized fer the mistake of not informing me to wear comfy shoes. i was still dressed in my office attire fer the second interview, after passing my first interview two weeks before. was shocked when work started but bleurgh, didnt complain. did the trial run fer FOUR HOURS non-stop. IN HIGH HEELS! getting drinks done(95%), cleaning up(3%) and sending orders(2%).

truth be told, i dun reli know if this job is going to beneficial to me or not. since i'm keen on making it in the business world, i guess this is the way to gain more knowledge n experience of the working world after being in the oil/transportation,logging, agriculture and property management company fer three years.

oukei~ tis thyme to muve on~!

hopefully being in an internationally established company will help me understand the business world more. will be facing customers everyday than to speak with them on the phone, behind a desk with loads of paperwork. i'm quite familiar with most paperwork related to running a company. now its me working UNDER a big company. like what i answered the manager after the trial run, "my goal? well... i hope i can make it into the management team and then climb to greater posts in this company?"

CHEH~ that bit was a lil fib but a great answer for him, he gave me a five outta five for that answer! hahahaah! next target after completing at least ONE YEAR in Starbucks, hopefully a good restaurant or preferably, a tourism agency.

updatez!

2007-04-19T00:53:00.000+08:00

Wheee…. Went out a lot for lunch,dinners and shopping this two weeks! Seriously, my legs are kinda sore from all the walking. I’ve gone thru it(shopping outlets) all~ muahahah! I bought a dress, three pairs of shoes, a bag, some shirts, two jeans, loads of earrings and …. Heheh! Far too much ice cream! It was yummy but I do regret it now… but u only live life once only eh? Heeehee!

I’m now unofficially back-to-normal once again. I mean, I’m finally not waking up at eleven in the morning and sleeping at three o’clock dawn. It was pretty hard la, to say the least on getting the biological clock back to its original state. I’m naturally a noctural person~ hmm… luvly stars~*

Now, I’m starting to be very aware and careful of what I eat,(except fer the ice cream overload~) as college is starting soon. Ditching most of the carbs, and sticking to low GI foods and liquids. Same concern applies to my beauty regime! That’s absolutely crazy~ the ONE more thing to do is to have my hair done~ easypeasylemonsqueezie!

Wahahaha! I think I’m taking college a lil too seriously. Getting my cupboards,books and organizer ready fer the BIG DAY! Mandy cant stop saying that I’m going to somehow turn into one of them : LaLa people! OHMYGOWD,the horror! * no offence * its just that I think they go overboard with the style far too often! Clashing so many colours (be it hair, face, clothes or even nails), wearing superduper loud glasses, applying a ton of make-up(sooo doll-like and unnatural) , accessories a bucketful(mostly faux pearls and ribbons from HEAD to TOE), act cute, and talk like an anime. LIKE I SED, that’s my opinion.and no, i cant possibly be like them. i hate OTT details, i'm more on the simple, minimalistic side >;P but i'm not boring.

Moving along~ o… lots of kitchen lesson learnt! From my sister’s boyfren! Hahaha! he made DIMSUMS and SIEW LOONG PAU! yummy giler....Ohmygawd! Absolutely the biggest and original dimsums! No processed meat or ingredients… no wonder the older generation just cant be satisfied with the ones ordered in restaurants! Gosh! Now I’ll never be satisfied over machine-processed dimsums! Ah!!!

Ladies n Gentlemen, i've passed my theory law test! with a fantabulous score~! so...i found out i reli do need to read d effing ugly textbook huh? but seriously, the stuff was just plain crap wan la! robbing us of extra cash on the books.thts besides the point, WOOI! WHEN CAN I RELI DRIVE ?! theres another six hours of bengkel! and tht six hours is, according to others, a complete waste of time! argh! the five hour class was alredi hell EVEN with an mp3 blaring in my ears and me doodling the textbook! someone! please SAVE ME!

just fer a driving license!

2007-04-13T00:59:00.000+08:00

So I failed my theory test. The first thing that popped up was, “OMFG?! How’d hell am I going to face my buddies?! please tell me the effing computer is joking!!!”

they all laughed as usual and looked at my paper, stopped fer a while and laughed again. “how’d hell did u survive ur spm when u cant even pass this!?”

Then they laugh again, “and why did u do it in 19 minutes? Rushing to go work ar or competition o? wakakaka!”

* rolls eyes* “look, I missed the passing mark by ONE point! And I didn’t study the whole effing textbook ok? I just read whatever I thot was important last night in probably three hours. So I think I did pretty good at tht.”

More laughter sounded across the table at Starbucks… I hate that sound already… shyt…I’m sitting fer that exam again tomoro. I’d better pass it this time. Gah!

smash n crash~

2007-04-08T23:03:00.000+08:00

i'm pissed. frustrated. angry. sad. annoyed. G-A-H! anyword that would indicate how one would feel when he finds out that the camera's memory card SUDDENLY needs formatting just when he needs to download the pictures A.S.A.P. reformatting would mean that all the data would be erased. DAMNIT! argh~~~!

not over yet. i fought with BOTH my elder sisters today. gawd. can life be anymore dramatic n devastating? it all happened at the same time so yes, i admit i screwed up in the middle. i got home at 8.30pm wit the pent-up three week long anticipation of being able to put up ALL my family photoes n NS pictures up on my online album. then... the card reader sez : reformat now? yes / no

so i instantly went COO-COO~ i was downright desperate! calling every techie daddy knows, and asking all the einsteins of the gadget-ie world. ALL of 'em sed: ur memory card is a goner. that pretty much made me so frustrated at the thought:i've lost ALL my precious pictures?!

frustration can somehow lead to anger, my elder sister Mandy just HAD to come to me for emotional support then! I listened with utmost respect, gave the most reasonable advice and used uber-patience when she keeps asking questions about the lovejerk. AND just tht moment, my eldest sister came online! and remembering that she was the one who ADVICED me to take her camera instead of my own. i did just tht. and HELL, i'm regretting to this very minute on heeding her advice. its human nature to be trying to put the blame on her but still, i'm also blaming myself for not listening to my own heart/instinct. there are so many times where i pride myself in doing it my way on my own instinct and it has always turned out right. i just dun understand why, oh why didnt i just do wad i usually do!? so i started off with my eldest sis with a very civilised conversation stating that i'm not completely satisfied with her camera and she took the offence, turned the tables on me. obviously i would then feel irritated and think : "wth!? i'm telling u nicely and u talk to me like tht? calling wad i say , ranting..nonsence?"

i just decided to forget it and went completely silent on MSN. and Mandy was STILL talking on n on, sumwhere in my blurry head, i was suddenly aware that she was waiting fer my responce so i blurted wad was on my mind without precaution: "u shud control ur emotions and not let emotions control u. put the past behind u and move on. i understand how u feel right now but u shudnt just sit there and think back then bawl all over again. overcome this weakness and move on with life, ok?" it was stated in a reasonable n slightly persuasive way but she took off in a huff,muttering sumthing like: "...wrong person...depressed!" i get the point tho. gah~

happy but not reli~

2007-04-05T18:34:00.000+08:00

so i've got offered to study in TARC, in what most people would think is the best course for me : business. maybe i'm having second thoughts. i dont know. all i know is there is a oddly sad feeling in my heart. yet again, maybe its because its now confirmed that i wont be able to study in KL. its like saying goodbye to family and friends back there. and it was surprising i told Ben first. and called Sabah a ....hellhole. i feel darn bad about that... still wondering why i did that...

MAPeC = Majlis Anugerah Pelajar Cemerlang. i got it! i didnt know wad it stood for on the last post. hahahahaha! so i attended the real thing yesterday and it was pretty good, compared to the rehearsel the day before. hahah! i came on time with May n Lily. walking among hundreds of students. i felt a bit out of place, wearing a traditional chinese top with embroidery and silk black pants. whereas my two buds were wearing long flowy skirts with button up tops. gah.... and i was the only dimwit wearing sumthing so super-earrings! hahah! i got tons of compliments tho! *peace!* wore the huge red robes, and found that i look ridiculously big in it. but o wells, so did everyone else~ kekekek!

u noe wad happened!? i was called up and when i'm finally in front of the VIP n my headmistress, i took the award cert n money, i turned to the photographer and gave my big smile. "miss, ur hair." in my head i was thinking "wtf!? its my hair-do la! just take the effin pic and lemme GET OUTTA HERE!" i smooth my VERY PERFECT N IN PLACE hair and u can hear the audience laughing a bit. darn it. then just when i've done tht, not ready and all, SNAP! he took my fugly pic. HEY! I PAID U RM 20 MAN! *bleeeep*

;] went home with a dozen pictures with frens n teachers, changed and got Mandy to send me and my friends to go shopping. had fun on just deciding on where to eat n had fun crapping around like clowns. there was six of us laughing with the waiter who was seriously f-u-n-n-y! W=waiter, C=customers

w= nak makan pe?
c=saya,ayam goreng.
c=ayam putih
c=itik
c=fried chicken
c=sama lah~
c=bak kai fan *steamed chicken rice*

waiter then turns repeats our order the EXACT way we said it. laughing, he turned around to the lady inside the booth and sed : "satu ayam, satu itik, satu makluk putih, satu bak zi, satu terbakar, dan satu fried chicken."

watched 'meet the robinsons'

rate it: 9/10

biadap biatch

2007-04-03T21:37:00.000+08:00

skewl awards ceremony rehearsel, better known as MaPec held today. i reli dunno why its called so. i woke up with a start at 9.20am and groggily got ready. i changed my shirt about six times! just to ensure i get the most DECENT outfit. u noe about the rules where, if u attend a meeting with most of them being Islam, u'll have to be covered to ur elbows n knees, and not show the cleavage. i changed and changed until i figured: 'o wad d hell! wad can they possibly do to me? make me wear the curtain!? " i donned my black Ralph Lauren - Pink Pony polo shirt and comfy jeans. love it lar~

got there and noticed... gar! i'm not late but was d last to arrive. why are ppl so very punctual?! nvm.. dun answer tht~ i walked down the big hall, occasionally smiling at the familiar faces of my juniors and greeting my old skewlmates... sat down in the front row between my two old classmates and launched into the super talkative/laughing-fit session with the two beside me, and some of them at the second row. all would have been reli wonderful until i saw sumone that i'm like, 101% anti-her! anyway, i chose to ignore her presence and just go on with my social life. but everyone still keeps teasing and pushing my buttons. saying things like : "eh, ur best fren there in wad college?" "ur not going to talk to ur good fren ar?" ... etcetc~ i usually laugh it off but deep down inside, i'm still trying to get over the hatred. why am i so anti-her? okie... u see? i'm good enuff to not reveal her name. but i'm still gonna rant all i want about how i feel.

she is the ULTIMATE copy-cat. okie... tht sounds childish but seriously, wait till u meet her then u'll understand. SUPER two-faced biatch. she can miss haughty one minute and act-cute in the next. SELFISH. in knowledge - she hardly teaches u even tho she's d top student. but at the end of the year, she just teaches others fer the gain of teacher's affections. u noe how? by walking up to the board just when the teacher leaves the classroom and she yaks till the next teacher comes in. praises abound~ gawd... me n the others would just gag n roll eyes.

QUESTION: why cant people just be comfortable in their own skin?

i dun have the answer. but there she was. the first time i saw her in form three. my first day in a new state n a new school. eager to make frens, i was so happy Ely introduced me to the some gurls. lets call the biatch - Tilarie. alright... moving along. she was all cold and hardly produced a smile . offended but i decided she's just shy. months passed and still no responce. i admit, i felt reli good breaking her reign in the english subject. i felt more joy when my other frens broke it too. she was no longer the ALL STAR student. each year, awards are given to those who are the best in a certain subject. starting off, she got the most of it. slowly, she couldnt hold on to it any longer.

in form four , i was forced to sit with the biatch herself! gawd... i cud've died in misery. forced to became friends until the middle of the year, where i just exploded cuz i reli cant stand it anymore.

her FANTASTIC ability to become someone else is driving me up the wall! i was patient enuff to obligingly answer her neverending questions on makeup n fashion n boys. and wads worse is... she was actually asking me fer my opinions, then she goes all out to disgree and insists that she's right! so wad d EFF did u ask me for!?
and ohmigawd, the way she talks n the body language at the same time can instantly make my dad throttle her. the chinese phrase is = lin c. her crazy double face attitude can easily make one just drop to their knees and just beg her to "BE ORIGINAL LA , DAMMIT!" one minute, she is being the most helpful angel and the next, "figure it urself."
seriously, form four year was a HUGE chaotic year fer me. but i thank her - for teaching me to control my temper to even greater heights and learn to say 'no'. remembering that she tried to be cool n she lied to her mom about being in skewl but tried to go hang out with us. she was in a nervous breakdown at the mere thought of being caught. why lie when u can just be honest to ur mom? or just dun go out lar ok? save us the drama.
and i'll never forget her listening to me n May's talks n just poking in. not forgetting that she also ended up stating she was the fashionable one. i'm not irritated by that, merely AMUSED she dared to say tht.back then, she hardly knew the difference between foundation n concealer. had never gone out with friends just to hang out. never gone shopping wit gurlfrens and hardly knew how to talk to a guy. and she was still wearing childish shirts with pink baby bows and holds a hankerchief all the time.

now in form five, she sat beside May on the first day making me even more furious with her. HELLO!? the whole world knows me n May always sit together! wad d eff u doing sitting beside her table? she refuses to budge n since its d first day, i refused to cause a scene. i sat between Lily n Ely. it turned out great anyways. but i pity May cuz she ended up bored to tears listening to Tilarie yak non-stop and like ALL gurls do. we all started gossiping. as in... me n the others started talking about Tilarie. in front of her.she never reli got it or she was reli thick faced.

until nearing the end of the year, we were so tensed to the point we practically threw Tilarie with the class loser- Tsunami. not the real name, d'oh! hahah. they were a fantastic pair. " why didnt we do that earlier?!" both of them got along well with their signature voices- one screechy (Tilarie) n one very low(Tsunami). as one talks nonstop, the other would agree on everything she sed. both of them were attention deprived, thick faced, sweet mouthed, and just plain annoying.

i wudnt say she is rude all the time but sometimes she goes overboard. once, the teacher had to yell at her, she would stand there and wobble on her two feet(basically no-sound-merajuk-ing) GROW UP LA! ; then when she doesnt get what she wants, she ignores everyone WTF!? ; the worst and most recent... not even four days ago! which i think she has outdone herself, she refused to salam with our form five skewlmate who was congratulating her on SPM results. its ok if u gently refuse with a reason but dun go staring at the person like she's got chickenpox on her fingers and walk away without a word! i thought that was too much! i wasnt there or i would have....anyway, so many people told me about it to the point i thot grumbily: "o goody, war~!" .

then to top it off~ this morning Tilarie turned to my fren beside me and said: "oh, i'm in college already. you havent started yet right?" my fren just laughed and sed: " o ya." turned to me and sed : "biadap!"

historical 18th year~

2007-03-28T01:24:00.000+08:00

not too far away from mount Kinabalu......in a quiet neighbourhood.....facing a computer at precisely 0:01am, 28th of March 2007, is lil Charlotte.... Ohkay, maybe not little anymore but yeah.... she used to be small and cuddly... okok, lets cut the crap~ i received calls and smses of "happy 18th burfday!" and also loads of it from my buddies online! THANK U SO MUCH, U ALL! muahx! God Bless ya'all! ah... i feel so warm, fuzzy n loved! heheh!

ohkay! my long awaited moment to say this! : I'M EIGHTEEN! YEAH! YAY! OH YES!!! WOOO!!! I'M EIGHTEEN! OLDER THAN U! NANANANANA! LET'S PARTY PEOPLE!!! HEHEHEH! LEGAL AGE! WOOOOT! actually.. .thats not what i reli wanted to say all this while...it was actually dedications. teeheez!

LOVE, and thank u's goin out to.....~

the hugest, most gigantic lurv n thanks is to the Almighty one above! thus far, He has blessed me and my family with so much! and whatever it was, i'm thankful lar~ for faith,strenght, health, journey mercies, family love and true friends!

daddy! for being my most trusted and loved family member! sacrificing time, money and effort for all of us, giving the best u can get! <3

darling sisters! with our constant cat fights, patching up and mischief making ...life wasnt boring at all with ya'll around.

oiiii! fab duo= Benjamin n Georgine! with all the crap sessions, skewl/life stories swapping and hanging out is just all worth the trouble~ hahah! the fact u guys are always there to talk , retains my sanity. and we best buds need to go out more la! BEN! M-O-V-I-E! we both owe golden seats! GEORGINE! we still havent finish SHOPPING! hahah! i wanna buy tht shirt! hahA!

close n precious frens! u've changed my life in different ways, one way or another. and that makes u special to me. thank u , even for the smallest things u've done for me. may we always be frens , spend time together and aid one other thru good n bad times. May this frenship be forever fruitful~

truly... this 18th burfday has been a blast even tho i didnt have a party this year. started off with bountiful of wishes by NS frens online. received my first gift of the day by Priscilla. i got a lot of great pictures taken in NS tht evoked many emotions n awaken many sweet memories. went to sleep later. woken up by sweet melody of handphone indicating a bucketfull of sms'es. Calls later started streaming in both landline n hp.

hahaah! did a rather frustrating DIY manicure. rose colour background n white/gold tips. then had a rather entertaining yet intimate dinner with family n relatives at my fav chinses restaurant. nothing fancy~ but nonetheless... a great way to celebrate this historical day huh? hahah! ended with a nice book,some angpows, a night call from dad who is away with business, and a Red Earth set. ah... great~ just great~

o gimme peaceful sleep~!

2007-03-27T16:03:00.000+08:00

i slept at around...4am this morning? was still busy finishing my fashion collage. hahah1 i have been meaning to complete since last year but u noe, busy gurl that i am! hahah!still am at the beginning stages but am glad the first part of the process is kinda over - getting all the articles and pictures i want.

assuming i'm free in the morning with NOTHING to do, i assumed i can sleep till afternoon. but at 7am sharp, my mom woke me up with her signature knock on my door and : "ah..charlotte ar...charLOTTE!"

" gar.....!" yeah, me waking up with an undertoned growl for the disturbed beauty sleep. "yea...?" i opened the door and my mom laughed out loud. i was in confusion until she indicated with her head. i looked at my clothings and saw sum kinda stain on my fav yellow singlet and my arms having odd-looking patterns(wrinkles) by the blankets. yea.. i was an odd sight. "we're goin to have a surprise visit to the workshop. so dad asked u to come along. go wash up. u want to come o not?" i was sooo tempted to say NO! but ahyoo... "yalah..in a while"

i wore a very...modest all skin-covered shirt as i know the workshop will be swarming with mechanics n mozzies *shudders* ... my mom handed me a pen n notebook. "write a report." i just gaped at her.. wad am i to write?! i tagged along as the workers were like "mornin' boss! " , "pagi jugak *meaning reli early" , ...etc. the place was in normal havoc. floor littered with crowbars, spanners and engine oil. i was yelling at myself fer wearing my most comfy mary jane shoes. got it as a present from my aunt who got it in from the interiors of china by a poor group of people who knits cloth and make shoes.its reli nice lar... i felt so bad making it a lil durty. "gar.." i growled. i just started scribbling watever my mom was saying to the workers. wrote wad i saw around the workshop. there was a pack of guard dogs which i started to just draw. i was soo sleepy n bored. i was also abit aggitated.

the surprise visit was over in two hours. thank God! the ride back abt half an hour and when we finally reached home, i giggled at the mental pictured that conjured in my head : me being soo thankful reaching home so soon, i kissed the floor. alrighty! walked back to my room to continue sleePING! OO YEShhh! i took off my contacts , changed clothes and just pounced on the bed!

then *insert sweet melody of The Myth here* starts to play on my hp on the other side of the room. "ignore it..go to sleep..." ...... ...."ignore.." .... " GAR!......." i got up and took the biggest steps toward the table and practically ran back to bed with it.i pressed 'read sms' and just ....*chuckles* " o how nice... (of Ben)." THUNK! finally bac to dreamland~~~

*insert Because of u-Kelly Clarkson here * i was THISCLOSE to screaming in utter frustration. i looked at the caller id(Yvonne) and was like..."calm down.. pick it up... civil tone now..ok " "elo?" "Charlotte! today got driving test right?" "ah no... postphone adi.. offline mar the office so...on thursday lor" presses end call n quickly continue sleeping....

was just about to enter sleep when....*insert urgent knocks on the door here* " CHARLOTTE, AUNTIE LUCY AT THE GATE!" my lil sis shouted. i woke up in confusion " waunti lu...wad?" "auntie lucy! ur driving teacher ahhh!" i donned my brite pink T and walked out of the house in my running shorts and slippers(whocares! i dun!). i opened the backdoor(cuz a hostile looking gurl sat in front) of her yello n blac kelisa and sed as patiently as i cud "sorry , didnt inform u earlier. HQ called to say offline so .. no test today. postphone to thursday n friday" this time i practically ran to my room, forgetting to lock the door.*grateful snores*

just mere moments later..... Mandy comes in and says out loud.." when r u going to wake up? its nearly noon..."

bluddy dreadful morning...

hanging by a thread

2007-03-25T00:37:00.000+08:00

somehow i've lost it... the spark for blogging. not that nothing is goin on in my life.... its more like... there is not much of it going the way i thought it would be. i think i'll never forget the happiness i felt coming home after NS, then the utter devastation upon uncovering my own SPM results no.. i didnt fail anything~CHILL~hahah! ,and undergoing super education couseling+lecture+dissappointment from dad. gah....

ever since obtaining my SPM slip, days just go by more mechanically than last time. though i'm reli dissappointed, i still thank God that i didnt fail ANY subjects... all credit n above but.. i'm just so bluddy not-ready for such a result....

then there is the forever troubling matter in hand... or rather in mind~.... on relationships. is there truly a problem with an interacial relationship? there are so many couples in Msia as well as around the world who have no problem being with a partner of different religion. i admit, yes! am in a rather early relationship with a guy who is a malay, whom i call Tousa. hahah! just for the fun of it... it nearly sounds like his own name~ teeheez.

those who found out by themselves, told me straight in the face, "how can u date him? he's a malay!" believe me, i was so pissed then. it wasnt like he tried to discourage me from christianity... instead he was the one who encouraged me to overcome my shyness to give praise in public and reminded me to pray+worship even more. i know we've talked it out but still, we cant just ignore how ppl view n treat us right? life isnt as perfect as it seems in story books... yea, there they can just block the world out n live happily ever after.

though we just only started off, after getting to know each other over a very eventful three months in national service, we already are feeling alot of the... descrimnation? what is the real problem people have about a chinese/malay relationship? religion? tradition or just not the trend? hahaha! mind boggling stuff when it comes to odd human behaviour! hahahaha!

here's the totals thus far:-

number of people : 17+4

problem with religion : 8+1 *w-o-w!

problem with tradition : 2 *haha! expected more!

problem with parents : 4 *bon jovi was wrong in "its my life"

no problems at all : 3+3 *the world needs more of these kinda ppl~

as more people tell me about their views, i'll keep updating. thanks ya'all for ur advise and erm...great opinions.

Those Moments~

2007-03-21T00:46:00.000+08:00

check it out~

toggle the speed of the slideshow with the '-' and '+' signs. put ur cursor over the slideshow to pause or read captions.

i still havent gotten the pics outta my cam.... suckfest man! so i've gotten the pictures from Priscilla n some of the camp website's. hahah! will try getting the pics asap! left the cable n card reader in KL! gahhhh! but the slide looks good eh? heheh!

lmt edt: NS graduate!

2007-03-13T16:00:00.000+08:00

“I dun reli feel like goin home now….” I sobbed unto my friend’s shoulder at the farewell ceremony in the NS training camp. All of us were feeling all super-sad and was hugging, saying our goodbyes and taking pictures.

honestly, now that NS is truly over and done with, i can see that i've actually enjoyed it,not forgetting surviving it. now i can say i've gone thru it all and yea... no regrets. met a couple of great frens amidst three hundred and fifty trainees and shared a whole lot of new experiences. no doubt a time i'll nvr forget. i'm not forgetting the crush i got plus the dedicated team of trainers. though it was a tough n gruelling seventy days, somehow i found a bit of fun to retain my sanity.. and came back..alive!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhHHHH!

and to answer the very famous question i seem to be endlessly shot at- " hv u lost any weight?" ....the answer is "yes lah! seven kilogrammes! r u happy? no.. its not a joke! reli!"

i enjoyed the churchie moments... open discussions by Mr Kumar, his singing (and our giggling) and what he shared with us made us reli think n changed. met loads of my brothers n sisters in Christ there n we kinda got to know each other alot better then.plus the worship n sermon n fellowship in Rhema Community Church was both great n touching. A BIG THANK U, GOD! n those involved! the performance we did on the last Sunday was quite impressive.. we did our own singing and band in a day! hope they loved it as much as we did! woot!

and believe it or not... i joined a dancing team. sure ... hahah! laugh! which was later called ASL (Akademi Sri Ledang) by Ah Loong! I MISS U AH LOONG! as well as the other dear members of ASL! i had major fun learning a bit of every cultural dance ...starting from Zapin Johor, Sarawak, Sabah, Chinese, Indian and... if not mistaken Jawa? hahah! then learnt a whole dance of.. Hindustan dance moves! hahah! i admit it was hilarious that i even thought of joining this team at first but after a while, i totally changed my mindset about it. though i consider myself a pretty decent party dancer and very appreciative of a variety of music, group dancing is kinda new to me. so yeah, another experience worth savouring. thru this, i learnt to reli control my temper n patience, laugh at my own mistakes rather then to attack at it, and the most fun part of all? teach people to un-kayu themselves! hehehe! u dun get it? nvm... its an inside joke then. plus the opportunity to wear Malay traditional costumes, along with the make up n hairdo, my own Chinese Samfu, and indian dress! hahah! totally fun! the amazing buds i made are Priscilla, Firdaus, Iskandar,Andrew,Xue Loon, Mei Fern,Melbert,Azreen and Shahril! they're all amazing people.

the classes we attended was.... Character Building(!?) classes for the first month. it was a tiny wee bit childish but i reluctantly admit that it was blardy effective in making most of us more positive n confident in ourselves as well as others. then we learnt about kenegaraan(patriotism , ithink). it isnt something i thought i would look forward to but after the first class, i was totally hooked. i have always been interested in organisational works like in the company or the bigger picture - a government. then there was a part where we talk about politics which was probably my favourite to see the going-ons in it. in that class, i became frens with Zai (since the first CB class), Qadeer, Zaid, Sam, XueLoon, Via, and Oasis. in many a debate-able topics, i found a fast fren in Zaid who shares a similiar past with me. and a secret which i'm surprised i shared with him about trust and countries... if he had joined his skewl debate team, gosh... they wud be unbeatable! he's reli gifted la! Plus he became one of the candidates of our very own SriLedang parliment. and i thought he should have won... lost by three votes! as his official supporter, yeah... i was frustrated. super duper frustrated at tht.... gah! but i'm sure in real life, he'll do pretty well~

being in Delta Cobra was quite a curse at the beginning, losing repeatedly with the reason of not being united, stressed caused by the jurulatihs... haha! but then things turned around for us.. and emerging exactly the same points with the current champion - Bravo but to break the tally,lost due to some reason of them having more gold victories than us. hmmmph! ... *meow!* dont wanna fight over petty matters now. honestly, i think we Cobra's went thru the worst during camp. we were picked on, punished,looked downed and jeered at the beginning but in the middle of it all, we were on the top battling with Bravo. not forgetting our ally - Charlie! together we jumped on Alpha who was the mighty one at first. heheh... okie.. i sound darn evil. SORRY! but yeah, love u all Delta guys n gals! muax! in this company, i met loads of frens... but only some were meant fer keeping.and something happened thru this three months... it gave me a wake-up-to-reality call on how the real world works. *trust and racism issues seems to be on top of the list.

i cant seem to round-up all the stuff i went thru in NS but.. i admit.. i cried on the first night i was there. i became very dependent on my bible and handphone. when they took away my handphone, i turned to my diary n bible. sounds pathetic to u? well, yea...i was alone and i think thts a valid excuse! hahah! then after a few days, i forced myself unto the battle field and made frens. it kinda worked a lil too easily. i guess everyone else was rushing doing the same thing - making frens. somehow i started off with more malay frens then only did i make frens with the chinese ones.... odd huh? ah well~ another confession to make! yes! i had a crush! only a few people saw thru me and guessed it right... the rest of them are still guessing. heehee! a hint : he's not chinese. yeah, the minute they heard that, they were like, " what!? charlotte! NO!" geez la... i did say it was a crush right!? its not like i fell head-over-heels in love! hahah!

finding best friends or sisterhood between me, Hui Min,Fang, Wai Lan, n Xiao Jing was just a God sent! hahah! since there are sooo many kinds of personalities within this group... emotions fly man! one minute we're laughing, then we're screaming, then we'll be yelling, after tht...munching then back to giggling.... gosh... wad a crazy bunch. LUrvE U'aLL!

oddly... i dun reli miss NS too much. and reli, the whole program would have been a COMPLETE waste if it werent for frens and the M16 programme. hehe! so it was worth while ALL becuz of the frens we made. definitely not becuz we were to learn about discipline and to learn how to serve our country better! bleurgh! OMG! wad a bummer! i left my camera card reader at home in KL! SHYT............ i guess i have to wait till i get it posted over here in Sabah... yea. i'm stuck here. hahahaha!

chanting freedom!

2007-02-22T00:56:00.000+08:00

i got used to KL life so fast... well, thats like a second nature right? anyway! i went out to One Utama to meet up with Wai Xiuan n Ben. but sumhow the meet up n hangout plan kinda backfired? more ppl came in and all. not that we didnt like 'em. we didnt have the chance on private talks like we did last time. NO insult to Mei Peng! i invited u along. so chill... was referring to some one else. heehee! i absolutely enjoyed walking n joking around. something different than just doin the norm. not that anyone would let me forget i'm always a bit outta the norm.we lined up fer movies fer nothing! it was blardy long line ok?! ahyoooooo! tht will definitely be last time i do tht! haahaha! my camera battery died! saw some o frens too. haihs...

i bought loads of presents. but i still doubt its enuf fer those i heheh! favour in NS camp! OH! before i forget! my sister do mean the best fer me but heck! not allowing me to take my dad's camera to National Service? i didnt ask my dad to let me take his camera but instead, he was the one who suggested i take it along fer precious memories. good o' dad. but alas, my sisters think otherwise.tho they did suggest i take theirs.... no doubt they mean good but yeah, they did burst my bubble. who cares la~ as long as i get to take some pictures is fine. i reli think they look at me like i'm some spoilt brat with the urge to take expensive stuff. get real la. the only ppl who are so vain n materialistic are they themselves. who goes out more often buying clothes? and designer clothes at tht? and worries abt their body n face n hair like possessed dolls? i need not elaborate anymore cuz its pretty obvious. shud stop now... am becoming bitter. heheh!

i enjoyed the short but special talk with ben. it never ceases to surprise me how we can talk so much over that short period of time. and Ben was right, " who sed two hours is enuff eh?" haha! two hours is truly not enuff fer two of us to talk. we have years of talking n catching up to do! i reli do have to agree with u though i have a totally different opinion. i guess there are two sides to a story la~ but chill, i think ur gonna go far, donkey. heheh!

I DON WANNA GO BACK TO THT CAMP LAR! THAT EFFFFFFIIIINNNGGGG NATIONAL SERVICE CAMP! freedom is so near yet so far! grrr.... i hate the food! the rigid rules! the tiresome activities. there is hardly time fer laughter n slack time. and the ridiculous rules abt keeping the handphones n medications fer us! we're old enuff to take care of 'em ourselves u noe! btw, those who lose their hp are either irresposible or just plain careless. they shud grow up n take care of their own stuff. cuz of their carelessness, we need to deal with the inconvenience of no hp!

i lost the mood fer blogging. i'm more on the typing frenzy. i love typing. hehehe! crazy lar... hahah! anyway, will miss ya'all. pray fer me aites? survive and come out in one piece from National Service... and i'll get whatever i need in it. hm... God Bless ya'all this new year! buhbye~ till the 11th of march! sayonara!

say tht again!!?

2007-02-20T19:34:00.000+08:00

CNY celebration this year isnt as happening as it was last year. odd.... i'm seriously wondering why? no... i'm not complaining abt the drop in the number of angpows. maybe i am.. heheh! maybe its the economy? bleurgh.better luck next year.

can u believe it!? my lil sister has got a Motorola SLVR!? and she's only 12!!! am i missing sumthing here!? she just got back to KL when she left her hp on the table and i sed : " dad! is this ur hp?" then my lil sis sed : "no la. thats mine." and i was : " fuhyoooooo! ur more chun-er than ur older sis la!" now i'm alredi planning to get a new hp. usually i'm not that materialistic but now that even my lil sis can be more mod than me... i guess i have to brush up. heheh.

WHERE ARE ALL THE SIMPLE n decent SHOES!? all i see in mid valley, OU, Sunway, Sogo and Petaling Street are LALA shoes! fyi: lala shoes are Hong Kong crazy-frilly-glittery-furry-pointy-impractical-silly-colorful-inspired-shoes. they're ridiculous! i just want simple heels! or just slip-ons! i wonder why do they need to sell furry knee-high boots,bejeweled slippers, frilly or lace-y mariejanes, and studded shoes!? *laughs n shakes head* its so effing hard to find simple fashion! simple shirts, skirts, pants, shoes, handbags, accesories, or hair-do! * fort minor's where did u go song plays*

i saw this gurl in particular, who falls in the OTT(over the top) LALA category, walking around in a complicated hair-do--crinkly hair at the back, long bangs in the front and curly tendrils at the sides! , furry boots with buckles, a top with so much lace that i wonder if it reli is just a top or she was wrapped in yards of lace, jeans with so much sequins,stitches n patch-ons, and the makeup! gosh-ness! go to any make up counter! please! her face is powdered white along such intense colours....i fear she might be in the circus. i havent even reached the part where her jewelry- is enuff for me to open a stall in OU. she wore three huge bangles(right),one huge watch with silver chains( left), loads of rings, layers of pearl necklaces, dangly earrings (which is a wonder it didnt get tangled in her crinkly afro hair) and glittery hair bandS! gah! the nightmare!

i just noticed that i had a pretty good time in National Service tho it was truly hard on me the first two weeks. i had to get used to the tight schedules, bizzare people plus attitudes, canteen food,absolutely no privacy and the sheer madness of wanting us to be united when most of the time, they segregate us to muslims and the non-muslims. yea~keep splitting us that way and i'm sure there wont be much UNITY in or out of camp!

but other than that, i've come to know that frenship isnt one that u can make decisions on. frenship is formed at the oddest chances, hardest moments, funniest mishaps and just-when-u-least-expect. who would have known i would make a fren in a toilet when i forgot to bring my towel. and during orientation exercise, made a fren while going up a steep hill with a heavy backpack. together we rolled our bags downhill afterwards. heheh! screamin after being chucked a fat leech during kayak practice. yeah, the guys are just horrid. sadistic too. frens when u've been forced to the most boring bunch of ppl u assumed, frens made by fate as partners in classes,competitions and dance practice. frens are also made when u need encouragement to jump off the four storey tower to complete the flying-fox exercise n five storey to complete the ab-sailing exercise. plus the great buds made over christian fellowship n church-attendings. ;) maybe i was wrong abt it being complete 100% waste of time. now my opinion of being chucked in National Service is 80% waste of time.hehe!

ur a gud fren if you have read till this point. then u pretty much know how i feel when someone reli appreciates what u've to say or write. MUAX to u!

here n now

2007-02-18T01:18:00.000+08:00

i miss him. Ben alredi noes abt him. he's sweet, caring, nvr dated, and sensitive to what gurls like. he's been with me since the first day of National Service. but theres only one thing that stops us from being together - religion. so we're just frens. no, we didnt talk abt it. but it is pretty obvious. we both talk about our passion in religion and theres an understanding. so yeah. we just spend loads of time together talkin and walking together. he got me a bookmark, stars and then he took the innitiative to find flower pins to put it in my hair for my traditional dance performance. i was wearing the complete costume of a malay Zapin gurl. on my head was the gold coloured head piece and four gold hair huge chopsticks. its not chopsticks la...but they looks like it k. hahah! then he added the two flower pins. aww... it looked pretty gud. hehehe! okok~ chillz~ i'll quit gushing.

i'm worried abt him. Ben also noes that. why? cuz its him that i'm worried about. i'm also sorry that i cant be there for him in person. i'm always there fer him to listen and talk or chat. but i guess its just not enuff. somehow i thought that he'll find another best bud that'll help ten times more than i can. no i'm not implying that i want to give up on him to someone else. but i want him to find peace. so thats all i want to do for him. i guess i worry for that reason. luv ya loads man.

National Service may have been full of sufferings but... believe it or not. it's been fun too. going thru a bit of torture with frens are actually worth it. hahahah! lemme tell u wad goes on in camp. 5.30 am wake up. 6.15 mornin exercise 7.30 breakfast 8-class 12-lunch 1.30 physical training 4.30 sports 6.30 dinner 7.50 lectures in hall 11.30/12 lights off.

its tiring i tell u! and we're sleep deprived! we get sick ever-so-often! plus the food is horrid! we get rice, fish (fried or curry) and kangkung (black sauce or curry). sweet syrup water and a fruit. everyday! everymeal! ahhh! no wonder the burger stand makes a ton of money every night. hahahah! obviously we cant stand the cafeteria's food.

i've met great frens from all over the country. every walk of life. unique personalities. passion for God. amazing life it is. and i've learnt to be so much more patient, understanding and on-time. somehow ALOT of people have turned to me as their agony-aunt. i'm not complaining. i reli do think i'm not someone special. i just get people pouring in to tell me about their problems and i natural listen, comment or give advice. so maybe an agony aunt is a good listener eh? hahaha! its also great to noe ppl come to u cuz they trust u. hmm... ;)

2006-12-31T00:09:00.000+08:00

ITS THE LAST DAY OF 2006!

i thought about the start of form five till today. sounds hard? it reli was. as i type, memories free flow in like a serene stream. i'm not like those lucky ppl who are blessed with the ability to have a motion-picture-memory. i remember mine in still pictures. and only the significant ones. i'm always amazed with ppl who remember even the smallest details.

my earliest yet most detailed memory i can muster is all of us(fav gurlies) carrying the new tables to our classes. Maydeline and me have already made an agreement to sit together but alas, a gurl who shall not be named insisted to sit beside May and that was the start of some gurl-fight. sounds childish? maybe i still am. Maydeline, being the one who doesnt want to fight, tried to persuade but the nutcase insisted she already was promised to sit beside May. with a raised eyebrow, i sat between Lily and Ely. and it wasnt too bad. but i still hated that gurl. "wad is her effing prob?!"

then i remember sleeping in class, fishing and being called by teachers! hahah! those were the slumber-ie days. the super hectic ones are those that see all of us writing karangans and copying addmath answers like Canon superscript printers. and teachers giving us the suspicious and humourous looks. i guess they do know all our tricks as they were once students themselves. haha!

and FYI! my class had the highest amount of teachers being changed or transfered. why? i reli dunno.first was our beloved english teacher. we practically look forward to EVERY class she teaches. right after she left, our moral teacher went on her maternity leave fer more than a month! the BM and science teacher then went off for a course. thus leaving us with more than two handful of free time. at first, i remember all of us wooooting in glee, playing and talking nonstop. but after the whole week was over, we kinda noticed that, should we go on like this, we're toast~ so became a LITTLE more disciplined and began to study as well as whisper. just not to disturb the other classes. heheh! so during those whispers with my good gurlfrens, i guess it was reli sweet to noe that i've got these pretty ladies to fall back on. no matter wad.

just a few weeks before SPM, group study seem to have a head on effect on effective understanding on our materials. "why didnt we do this earlier!?" no time fer complains, so we did it as much and as intense as we could. after EVERY SPM paper, we would comment on the paper, hug and have a lil fun before goin home. it repeated till the last day of exams. well, the last day was a lil different. i went up to the invigilator and told them that they were appreciated but there were times were they cudnt stop talking during our papers. so, they apologized and then we gave them a handshake. us gurlies took pictures and talked fer as long as possible.

coming to KL was a great experience thus far. i cant say i totally enjoyed but OVERALL it was enjoyable. wanna noe wad ticked me? if ur a kepochi, try ur luck asking me.

went home and enjoyed a lil of the hols before coming back to KL. i must admit, no where is more comfy and safe than my own home. though it may not be a mansion, its not a hovel. it may not be perfect, but its definitely beautiful. and home is where it is filled with love, trust and ease. that is what i describe home as... KL may not be the place for me. hmmm....

i yearn the more laidback life in Sabah. maybe i'm young in appearance, old at heart. i dun care about the money i earn. all i care is leading the life that is pleasing to God and i know tht would be enuff to please me. why not find that all in Sabah, right? a life pleasing to God can be found anywhere. i can launch my career in Sabah right?

with that said, maybe i know where my future lies. higher education? my choice is Selangor. with the tension in my grandparent's home, i doubt i wanna stay under the their roof. i'll definitely go into the hostel or i'll rent. since i've lived on my ownbefore, i might as well continue doing so. hahah! maybe i'm just not a 'people's person'.

believe it or not, they really think i'm still fifteen. i've travelled alone to more places than they can imagine i could. and they wouldnt be persuaded to let me travel to Johor fer my NS. insisting other family members to drive me down there. u noe wad i feel? embarrassment. uneasy under the stare of the others. as though i'm some clingy child.

eh! i got side tracked eh? hahahah! HAPPY NEW YEAR! CELEBRATE 2007! WOOOOOT!

time money n life. wasted.

2006-12-29T00:33:00.000+08:00

argh... attending National Serving may have its benefit but! in my opinion, its such a waste of........

time,
the poor participants have to... wait! not participants! we were chosen and forced to go! therefore we're not participants! we're something of... slaves? prisoners la~ to serve in a stinking cage along with a few hundred other prisoners. we run,jump,crawl,sing,march around under the sun,leaving us no chance but to risk rashes/sunburn/sunstroke/skin cancer/some other horrid skin desease. take ur pick. force poor lil kiddos to sit behind the desk to study history again!? make us socialize with teens from other races n cultures to cultivate a more harmonious Malaysia? to achieve tht in two and a half months? hahaahahahahah! my fart is more effective in uniting teens!!! how? gosh.... i dunno. unite in shoo-ing me out of the vanity area? L-A-M-E. i noe~ but u get wad i'm trying to say? u do? good, ur smart. u dont? well, read again! or go back to elementary skewl k?

money,
we have to pay for the fuel to see the doctors, the government wastes even more just for the attempt of cultivating harmony and feeding thousands of parasites. and the government intends to put a stop on bribery and money laundering and etc etc. this is just another way fer another hundred ppl involved to squander over the ever flowing money passed on by the government. omgosh! dad just called me a parasite! cuz i slept till nine a.m. NINE! and then he sed, " i cant sleep lar." wth!? u cant sleep and i have to accompany u!? garrrr... and the money spent to fly/shuttle the thousands of parasite/prisoners all around the country to their designated camps or cages. grrr.... who cares right? not my $, not ur $... so lets just waste it...together! hehehe hohoho!

life,
they( the gov) are preparing us for an... unknown possibility of war against ...an unknown opponent. so therfore, this is a all for an unknown cause. resulting in the waste of time, money and life! wasting my first three months of 2007 in ... National Service to an unknown cause. still their reason of NS is "to promote unity and boost patriotism!" ask them further and they answer, " to make Malaysia a better place to live in and to show the world that Malaysia is truly a nation of diverse nationality. " forgive me if i barf everytime i hear tht. i'm not given the chance that i thought i might have had to spend with my father! i could have started on a short course or a intense three-month tour around Malaysia. other people complain about the abrupt stop in plans to work( fer extra cash! waaaay more $ than just a mere RM300 the gov are giving us!) until they obtain their SPM/STPM results. we could have gained exposure and experience but they put us in NS to so called 'have fun in the sun' and pretty much let us waste the precious three month of freedom after SPM/STPM. FANTASTIC ISNT IT?

believe it or not. i was baking corn flakes when i absolutely forgot i was in grandpa's house so i took the tray outta the oven and left it to cool on the drink stand. i went off to grab a bowl and some milk then found my grandma with a super 'black-face'. she was not happy. i burnt a perfect rectangular hole in her clear plastic sheet over the drink stand. whoops. like i told my fren, 'i noe. old ppl are very 'yim chim'' so yeah, i can easily replace the clear plastic sheet! and there she was sitting with her black face telling me that i shudnt waste money and bake corn flakes! *sputter in shock* GAH!? shyt happens lar!

oh! just send me to NS now. nOW! NOW!

will i be safe or shattered?

2006-12-25T20:15:00.000+08:00

the last four days are just completely filled to the brim with shopping, eating out and present wrapping! gosh! even getting ready christmas is becoming a chore! heheh! the house cleaning, present hunting and the worst of all? becoming quite deplete of cash! i'm never this broke unless it's christmas time! hahahah!

i think i've come to understand the feeling of insecurity most of my peers used to talk to me about. graduating from high school is the point where u've been thrown out of ur comfort zone and (for most of us) are encouraged to make their own decisions from now on. here i am, thinking of which college to further my education to please all sides of the family. and also myself.

i guess most people will tell me to not be bothered with the opinions of others. but my family is important and no, they're not 'the others'. though most of my family members are high flyers, i've come to a decision that i'll be a humble businesswoman. i just want to do both Marketing and Tourism. odd combo? i dunno~ i love both sectors. i grew up with my father in his diversified business company and most of the time, stayed in hotels. so yeah, i think this is what i appreciate most. i've worked in both... and i think its sumthing i wanna do for a living.

like i've said before, in my heart of hearts, i feel like studying psychology. but because my eldest sister is already studying it, i feel that i shudnt. those of u, who have competitive siblings, i guess u'll understand la. i cant really explain, but its as though there is an unwritten rule abt not doing the same stuff they are. garr... i'll leave it at tht.

i went to church today. well, d'oh! fer Christmas celebration la! hahah! then as i made my way up the stairs with my sisters and Sara, i saw him. i guess, the feeling i used to have for him was in some way, surpressed and gone. in 99 ways, i was glad to finally get over him after seven years. but i do still feel just 1 bit of love for him. i wanted to shake his hand but he hugged me, and wished each other Merry Christmas, stood there talking and yes, felt the others waiting fer me so i walked away. reluctantly. had a wonderful sermon la! the speaker was darn farnie! and the message he sent was clear. Worship rocked. and he tried to talk to me again but was pulled away. i think he got the message. but he still tried and i succumbed to the temptation, not giving a damn wad others thought. just a few minutes later,he had to go join the luncheon downstairs. damn. another hug was outta question so we shook hands and left the hall.

darn sad and emo, but had to put up a cheerie face fer the others. spoke to a fren about the love of our lives. how life turns topsy turvy. suddenly twists and turns, ups and downs, plus dead ends. and another fren, asked about how do we noe if he/she is THE one? i just sed wad i noe, i would pray and make sure the other loves me and has the same or more spiritual level than me. perhaps women are reli from Venus. hahah!

i think to myself,

can i stay firm to the ground?

or will i be tossed around?

safe or shattered?

never~ending grace

2006-12-20T20:15:00.000+08:00

"u noe wad? i think u come for youth camp with such a hunger of God's words, trying ur best to fill that spiritual hunger with a years supply of it." I looked at my aunt and went..." yea, i guess."

going to camp this year wasnt a mistake. wait! it was NEVER one. in fact i thought, this is probably the best camp i've participated. spiritually and mentally. for me , that is. i admit that i have not attended church fer... fer..... a lot of months? hahah! but my love and passion for His words has not dim. i believe that believing in God, it's not a MUST-ATTEND-CHURCH-OR-BURN-IN-HELL choice. i'm not a person who goes around judging other's faith but there are people who go to church all their lives and still they lose faith in Him.I sing and dance praising the Lord in my room every chance i get in KK and found that, it was enough. in the sense that, i'm not ashamed being a christian, i share about Him and i try to live by His words everyday of my life >:P

it started out pretty bad as Feon-na,my couz and i were late. as usual! always late! blame it in the genes. heheh! Eunice spotted me first, then it was Euodia,Melinda,Luke and so on. happy happy. went off to Golden Sands, PD. enjoyed the scenery while giggling once in a while with Feonna about odd-looking buildings or people(sorry!). got off the bus. carrying my super heavy bag and this unfamiliar fello sed, "hey charlotte." i did my signature look, quirked eyebrow with a side glance at him. i thot fer a while abt this : "1.who is this? 2.have i met u? 3.i dun remember u lar! 4.how do u noe my name?" then i mentally laughed..... i wore a nametag. so i returned the elo n handshake.so i met a new fren James, only to find out he's my team leader. ahyak#1! hahahahah!

then went at the hall and got distributed into our designated teams then had lunch. sat beside this reli cheerful fello named Daniel Loh. we talked and i enjoyed it thru lunch then asked him, "if ur not from pantai or subang church so where r u from? pls dun answer earth or peninsular" And he replied, "Penang." with a huge grin. i was like " wah! so far away!" he just grinned fer another five seconds and sed: " hello! i'm the camp speaker!" i thot he was around he was a youth... but he was older..... ahyak #2!

got to noe the my teams mates alot better thru icebreakers. the team = O2. the members: jolly James, lame Luke, enormous Eunice, sexy Stella, yummy Yolanda, cheerful Charlotte(ahyak#3) , boring Bryan, energetic Eugene, daring Derek, rocky Rick, merry Miriam, iron Ian, and Jeshua.

well, thru many activities i gotta noe my teammates quite well :) in many ways, i think we're quite a close knit. we encouraged and cheered one another till some of us actually got sore throats and lost their voices. we completed the stunts in the shortest time we possibly could till we got third place cuz we started the race last! we prayed fer one another. most of the teammates were a pleasure to know, talk, work and play together. gotta thank God fer giving me this chance to be acquainted with these wonderful people. and there were so many people who came up to me and sed, " hey Charlotte, ur Michelle's sis right?" then it changes into "and ohmigosh! hey! u sound/talk/hit/look like her!". letting them say it around fifty times, i'm not angry but just ruffled around the feathers. had a lot of talking till waaay past midnight with Sara and Eunice on the same bed.

and when Eunice decided to sleep with me, i was worrying my head not to turn around and crush her twig-sized limbs.hahah! and Eunice admitted she cudnt sleep in peace either cuz she thot i will die, sleeping face down on the pillow.(ahyak#4) hahahah!

on the last night of camp, each team must present a skit(a short act) based on a bible story. our team, O2 did a mix of parables - the lost son and the lost sheep. and in the skit, to contribute my bit..... i was a dancer and a.... wait fer it! wait fer it! a pig. (ahyak#5)

both parts were a major embarrassment. but gosh lar... some one had to do it right? sadness man....but my team did very well, overall. hehe! everyone did fab job lar~! then after everything was over, i had fun talking to my gud fren John abt everything! " i miss him so much!" and James stopped beside our picnic table and we looked at him oddly then sed, " my dog lar!" u bet hysterical laughter followed.

heard ghost stories till one a.m. with Kevin, John, Sara, Patrick, James, Kelly n some other kiddos. then played Empire till six a.m. with Isaak, Jeshua, Kenneth, Euodia, Melinda, Moses, Hann, and... cant remember la! but it was super fun lerr... eeyerrrr!

i wanna stay in camp longer! it kinda reminded me of home in Sabah. probably bcuz of the seaside lor. but oui! ... the sea side in KK compared to PD is just so much more better. hahahah! sorry KL-ites! if u think that was fantabulous....u gotta be kidding....KK beaches are seriously nicer lar..... white sands and blue seas...mountain backdrop.... huge birch trees...acorn trees.... fantastic sunsets...the windy weather...fuhyo... nuthin beats tht man....we're talking local beaches! not overseas! so dun come tell me abt super chun-ted beaches over seas ok? hehehe!

conclusion: i had major fun. and yea... growing in God's grace was quite the great theme. the speaker was fab. and this time, i reli got to noe more of life in God's plan and grace. it made me undastand much better that He made me who i am so i shudn't try to change who i am. there are so many things to improve on to be a better christian. i guess i felt that God has always been there for me. and i truly think that was His way of showing he loved me, even before i accepted Christ. after this camp, it made me come to noe that God loved me and always will. God's grace is truly enuff fer me.

super conclusion: i lost my voice. i have a headache. i miss my friends, old and new. i love shopping and i want more. i want to go swimming and... i miss him, my Tiramisu, i noe mommy will forget feeding u....my poor puppy! stupid airlines and customs! he's a tinie winie dawg! he cant harm anyone! but...darn... he bites my jeans to tatters! no joke!

i noe this is just d beginning

2006-12-16T21:28:00.000+08:00

i dun know how to describe the feeling.
it's like agony. anger. disappointment. frustration. sadness.
there was his new post notification in my mail.
now i'm looking at the 'click now' button and how tempted i was.
i deleted the post.
i remembered it like yesterday, how hurt i felt when i last read his blog.
the title of the post was similar to wad i was goin thru. love hate.
why did i have to love sumone i just know in my brain and with common sense that he'll not feel any more love than just great frens?
i love him.
he loves me. as one of his "most precious best friends".
but i love God most. He knows whats best for me. i'll pray to Him for light unto my path.

2006-12-16T19:16:00.000+08:00

bye Kota Kinabalu, hello Kuala Lumpur~!
ever since i've been back to KL, its been reli hectic! hahah! waking up super early to do some last minute packing then heading off to the airport to KL. my best bud May, came to the airport just to see me off! omg... we were both teary-eyed. sobz...

then i read while waiting fer my flight, had a delay cuz one of the plane passengers were on the wrong flight. HOW PERFECT! he was on a KL plane when he was suppose to be on a JB one.... carelesssssss

the journey.
sat beside a hyper kid. i'm not going to elaborate but alot of u guys know wad i think abt them. lets just say, it was a very stressful and tiring experience. do i look like i'm a mothering person!? the woman just sed : "cakap elo, dik. tu kakak cantek." i was thinking," look, ur compliment is quite the insincere lor... and no! i'm not going to take care of ur kid" but in the end , i did. and gawd.... he ruined my new book!

home sweeeet home
i reached home! after a very tiring six hours! goshness... ate a very yummy dinner made by grandma! she makes the most delicious meals! wholesome too! we talked like a buncha chickens! hahahh!

just the bunch of us from tropicana primary skewl.
on friday,went out at ten to OU for Starbucks coffee with bestgurlfren Georgine. talked so much while waiting for the others. next came Marilynn and we talked even more and laughed harder. Wan Xiong came, looking so much taller than the last time we met! he was like, two head taller than me! he would be an asset fer a basketball team! Eugene came about the same time with Wai xiuan. i think it reached the breaking point of some customers, listening to all of our laughter and stories! hahah! we finally left at twelve for a movie. we were ready for Haunted Apartments but were bored to our toes. three of us gurls, left within the first half an hour to do some shopping. nearly bought some clothes when the guys noticed us missing from the cinema! hahah! then Marilynn called Kit Seng to come along. and soon enough, Don Shou came too! omg! have i told u? obviously not! Don Shou n Wai Xiuan gives d best hugs. hhahahah! the rest,are wad i call fake hugs. hahah!

attention GUYS! learn by example!
these two guys have not change much in appearance but obviously they're taller! more mature looking and... awwww! sweeties! i know Georgine is going to agree with me in this! Don and Wai are such sweeties cuz they're quite the gentlemen. wai even wanted to buy a rare looking locket, and no matter how we tempted and pursuaded him, he was like nope! must buy locket!

hard choices... college and beyond.
today, i went college hunting with Georgine and she gave me some of her super-chocolate-rich-laden-with-love cake! TQ DAHLING! hahahh! we stopped at KFC cuz of a tyre puncture. but after a while, we zoomed off to Nilai International college and honestly, i'm alredi very familiar with it cuz they've been calling and mailing stuff to me every few weeks since SPM started! so seeing it in person made me reli believe that the facilities were awesome! the palce and all~ then after a short counseling session, we went to the country club and was even more impressed. but after that we went to LIm Kok Weng Uni, and was impressed again. MMU was also good la. choices choices. i guess i'm still unsure. i'm being encouraged to study back in Sabah but i reli have found home in KL. so yeah. here i am stuck in a dilemma. like my reli old blog, between worlds. i'm feel torn, having to make choices to please my parents, grandparents, family and satisfy myself. most have advised me that its my life so make the best choice for myself. but its so important to me to please the elders. its been in me since i was little.

choices aplenty.
tell me. Nilai? Lim Kok Wing? TARc? HELP? finally, tell me. why is life so complicated? just one more. i know i'm asking the simplest (or stupid)questions but tell me. how on earth am i to please my elders and satisfy myself in the choices i have?

2006-12-12T20:03:00.000+08:00

Its probably the best Sunday I’ve ever had in a very long time. I went to the Sunday flea market famously known as Gaya Street. Yvonne came by my house and we had breakfast at one of the ancient breakfast coffee shops .i had my favourite ‘squash mee’ a.k.a PanMien.

Me and my sister called it ‘squash mee’ while we were kids cuz we cudnt remember the real name and it used to be ver squashie looking. Haahha!

Usually I would come out of the flea market with HUGE plastic bags of plants, fruits and other knick-knacks. But this time, I successfully came out with one normal-sized plastic bags containing three cultural figurines and a wonderfully carved sea turtle! Ohmygosh! U noe wads the most embarrassing thing that happened!? No…I didn’t fall down! I absolutely forgot that I’ve done my hair and did some shopping at the malls, so I had quite a small amount of cash! I looked sheepishly at Yvonne and sed, : “ borrow a fifty?” gosh… I cud’ve sunk into the ground…..hahahah! left the place with Yvon by Taxi, inside was a super-gengchow looking taxidriver! The whole car was decorated with Manchester United merchandise! And he looked like a gangster la! Hahah! He drove like HE was in hurry! Going past the speed limit, overtaking cars and cutting the queue! Phoa! IMPRESSED!

Ate a simple meal of Kenny Rogers! I LOVE their coleslaw and fruit salad! I tagged along Yvonne in search of ‘Bleach’ DVDs. I guess I’ve never gone into DVD stores if not for her. Heheh! I thought her brother and her watched BEACH instead of BLEACH! Heheheh! So I got to see the other side of the world and a lil bit of anime!! Sakai experience eh? Went to the arcade then went and Watched ‘Happy Feet’. It was a mediocre movie la. Otherwise a very…educational…long-winded…obvious movie. No surprises or outta the ordinary. it was a laugh-or-two, smiley, and awww movie. Felt no ‘Oomph’! The furball was a real definitely the fluffiest thing ever and reli makes u feel like reaching out to grab it to hug! Hahah!

Got to Hyatt thinking there was an Education fair but ahyak! It was a seminar! Bummers~ got home thanks to Yvon’s mom. I was just resting when Mandy got home with her bf,Vince. Lovingly called Vincci or mince by me, and I guess mom reli approves of him. the perfect gentleman and he treats both Mandy n mom right so… no complains there. He’s not a hunk or chic-magnet but his personality reli shines. He’s not a chatterbox but he knows what to say at the right time or! The smartie-wartie just sez : dunno . hahahh! Mandy who got home from beach-fun at Karambunei, a world-class beach resort just an hours drive from my home, wanted to go to town in search fer dinner and do some shopping. I was so tired but they dragged me anyway. Ate ‘healthy’ food and enjoyed the strong monsoon wind and rain. Wahahah!

Went shopping at Warisan Square and had fun trying a gazillion outfits, hats, shoes, hangbags and shades! Vince was hilarious when we had to force him to give his opinions on outfits. He actually turns slightly red when he tried to explain his opinions. We were torturing him with the ‘why doesn’t it look nice? U calling me ugly?’. In the Roxy store, Mandy sported her junior in the prefect board, working there and sed, “ooo! The cutie!” I mentally branded her a pedophile! Hahahah! I bought a book from Times then joined the others in Secret Recipe and ate a cheese+choc cake! Wooot! My choc fix! Got a lil high in the car with the silly couple. Got a terrible sunstroke to end the very happy day. Haahha!

When I see that some with the name starting with an ‘E’, I’m going to call him all the horrid names in the world and kick him down a flight of stairs. Don’t u blardy hurt my sister. The best bit? We’re goin to scra…. Nvm…dun say it…yes…gud idea. Shhh! Tell u all later. Peace out~

2006-12-07T23:56:00.000+08:00

answer me~

1-who are you?
2-are we just plain frens?
3-when n how did we meet?
4-do u think I have a crush? On u maybe?
5-gv me a nickname n explain why u picked it?
6-describe me in 1 word..
7-what was ur 1st impression?
8-do u still think that way about me now?
9-what reminds u of me?
10-if u could gv me anything..what would it be?
11-how well do u know me??
12-when the last time u saw me?
13-ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14-are u going to put tis on ur blog n see what i say about you?
15- u luff me? Aww…

summary of Oct n Nov

2006-12-07T23:53:00.001+08:00

à 13^th Oct, attended a career talk and we were prepared to sleep in the airconditioned surau with the old parrot-like school counsellor screeches .POP comes this reli small and round lady. awww…we smiled and thought O,FUN! turned out reli funny as there was only ONE person who fell into the analytical category! harhar! and MOST OF MY CLASSMATES were in the artistic category (d’oh~), a reli small group of conventional ppl(boo-ring) , seven sosialites ( N-ice), two sexy mechanics (hoots*), and one expertise extrodinaire~( ka^ching )! hahahah! the extrodinaire bit was obviously not part of the word but its pointing at ME! heck, i noe self praise is reli not much of a real praise~cant help it! i cant possibly remember all the details but i am described as a very demanding person, loves to give orders, strong character, money minded, hard outside yet a softie inside and i’m best as a politician, lawyer or hotel manager. i was surprised and the whole class was goin :” ‘tul…’tul… *meanin = true true*”

à15^th Oct, it started off with me waking up at 10.30 am and happily sms’ed Yvonne, kacau-ing her. hahaha! she was already up in the cyber cafe gaming furiously! hahaha! talk about leisure Sundays~ i fell asleep again and sms’ed me “you awake alredi or not!?” hahahah! she reli understands me! *cries in joy* ahahah! i was still lazing around when she sed ” ok, my bro and i coming to pick u up now! ” whoa~! i just jumped out of bed and ran around in panic, washing up, packing a set of clothes and my makeup then running downstairs to grab a bite. alamaks! no food la…. unless u want me to eat tht white chinese kuihmuih for vegetarians. no thanks~ got to Centre Point at 1pm and had McD’s (hell yeah~!!!!) hahah! her brother is so farnie! then we walked over to Asia City fer the college open day. i pratically died at the stair area… four floors up!? as in eight flights up!? The lady who spoke to us was reli helpful and has this reli nice bracelet! i’m so hunting fer one of those! teeheez! HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY aMELIa~! I truly enjoyed Cass as company. its different. more relaxed and comedic. hahah! yet quite memorable to look and see a fren whom we’ve known since we were ten. hahah! we tricked Amelia by calling to tell her we were unable to attend her party at the beach.Amelia had a gud laugh. we all really changed. had a cake-cream fight. ended running around in laughing fits. i got creamed a couple of times while we gave the birthday a creamy facial~

à19^th Oct, Sat in class studying economics with Lily sitting beside me studying arts in theory for the last four periods of school. I had Zalikha’s mp3 hp blaring non-stop until May came with a Japanese fashion magazine and sat down showing me stuff that she liked. Then the conversation turned into ‘wad am I wearing for the farewell luncheon?’ . ahhh! I just got a dress that’s old pink in colour, with loads of black lace lining around and a single black rose at the ‘V’ of the dress that is so retro~!!! I have yet to find the perfect shoes and handbag/clutch though.

à 24^th oct, for hari raya, we went to a Haji’s house to talk business/celebrate. It was a small room with hardly any ventilation! I was sweating like a tap! And so was everyone else but HIM! Ooo ! I prayed fer released at 10 am! instead he let us outta of his house at noon! Never…NEVER had I been more grateful seeing the sunshine and trees! And the car. Then we sped off to the interior of Sabah where my dad’s farm and plantation is. We had to sit in the car for two hours ( if speeding) and all the way, there were just so many amazing things to see. the change of flat roads to rough and bumpy ones, trimmed trees to wilderness, posh cars to working vehicles, sparrows to rare colourful birds and city accommodation to traditional kampung houses with huge gardens and animals. Hahah! I’m still the girl who loved running in the fields and terrorizing chickens while exploring the area….a bit of a loner i guess. i love the peace and solitude. but i do love the city life …. family,frens and shopping!

à10^th nov, Congratulations charlotte, you are 55% not Malaysian. That means you’re as Malaysian as… Guy Sebastian !

à12^th oct, i dun think i need to say this out loud but i am getting tired of prepping for SPM. i’m just so not…not…just no semangat la! tuition classes are over and teachers leaving us be already and sumhow, me,Lily and Haz are given the Y-SO-RAJIN? looks and comments! Omg do u have to ask!? Its spm fer gudness sake!

btw… wanna noe why i’m feel like leaving the compter room so soon!? the freaking neighbour is trying to kill her chickens. the hard way. with a knife. holding the neck of feathers. o.my.gosh. i can hear the pitiful chickens screamin in pain… how it dies down ever so slowly…OMG! ITS HORRIBLE! here i live in the middle of the city, in wad i call the urban bungalow lots and there she is! KILLING CHICKENS! ……in the night……. omg….where did she get the chickens….. she’s a heartless woman! this is abuse to chickens! cant u support the government in electirfying the chickens than YOU just slicing their necks!? yikes… goosebumps….or was it chicken bumps!? must run..she’s not killing just one….cant take it nemore!

à18^th nov, ALL RIGHT! YEAH! ONE SUBJECT DOWN! WOOHOOO! But it was pretty hard…well…no surprise there actually since it was my least favourite subject- principles of accounting. All the best ,SPM students!

à 20^th nov, I’m a hypocrite… but just for today. Why? ‘cuz the BM paper asked me for my opinion on PLKN (national service). Well, I wasn’t reli given a choice for my opinion. Obviously, I said YES, its reli good to boost the spirit of patriotism! U seriously think I agree to tht!?

à 21^st nov, it was fun completing my English exam papers in forty minutes then I took my time drawing my dream house with features and furnitures too. Even the invigilator stopped and looked. I gave her a scowl and she walked away chuckling. we were screaming ‘MERDEKA’ right after history paper.

à 22^nd nov, half an hour to spare… phew~ and with that, I raised my left hand up to call the invigilator. She came and gave me a piece of paper. But I pushed it back at her and whispered : “cikgu,boleh saya pergi tandas?” she smiled and gave me another piece of paper. I pushed it back and whispered a bit louder : “ bukan ini! Saya mahu pergi tandas.” She raised a eyebrow and sed : “ kertas, kan?” I just gave her a look and spoke in my normal decibel-ed voice : “ Tandas la..” and we couldn’t stop laughing. FIVE DOWN! OHMYGOSH! FIVE DOWN! CAN U BELIEVE IT!? DOWN WITH HALF OF MY SUBJECTS! JUST FIVE MORE TO GO! OOO YEAH! HALELLUIA!

à 24^th nov, There goes my science and EST exams~ phew~ one week full of exams is finally over! DREAM LAND! HERE I COME! Now its just down to thelast three~ WOOOOT! Its just left with…

Additional Math
Pend. Moral
Economics

Can u believe it!? I’m just sooo close to freedom! I’m sorryfor all the whining, people! But I’m not the kinda person to sit behind a desk and study..read…write. I do enjoy those stuff but I reli think its gone overboard~

à 26^th nov, I’m abandoning boring books fer one night of carefree talk and the sheer delights of enjoying the sea breeze with frens. I got Sarah a luvly soft green handbag which I was actually evilly thinking of getting fer myself! Hahahah! Got over to the club and met the pretty birthday gurl Sarah, cutie Amelia and *gasps* Jeremy? He’s another one of primary skewlmates. Funny fella he is. Sarah excused herself and left three of us to talk old grandparent stories about the past present and future~ it was quite nice to getta noe two of them all over again.

à 29^th nov, a screech sounded : “Masa sudahpun tamat. Sila pastikan angka giliran dan nombor ic telah diisi. Letakkan kertas jawapan di sebelah kiri meja!” I was already doing the world famous ‘The Scream’ ala muted version.

Then it’s the start of my third worst nightmare >

Khidmat Negara!

I know how to swim, cycle, self-defend, study, co-operate, kayak, dive, jet-ski, lead a pack of two legged creatures, sing, march, secretarial works, do charity work and I cook up a storm! Pleaseeeee , o pleaseee! Dun make me! DUN MAKE ME share a room with twenty other humans! My room is my sanctuary! I dun mind sharing with two or three but nineteen of them!? Think about the catfights! And the stealing! And the….the…d… OXYGEN ! I NEED fresh air! Lots of it! Keep ur distance! “This is my personal space; oxygen; moisture; sunlight; omg.. just keep away!”

2006-12-02T22:07:00.000+08:00

FINALLY! FINALLY!

Finally, my blog is orite again!

its been outta service fer quite some time. i'm not exactly the computer whiz or am i blessed with 25hours a day, so i finally got it right and yeah, all the while i cudnt blog here, i blogged in Wordpress. I cant say that its the best place to blog unless you seriously mean business. they dun allow tagboards and the sparkly things~ so i cudnt beautify my online 'home'.

anyway, the posts i posted in Wordpress was quite personal. must be sumthing to do with the not being able to beautify the blog. i got to reli jot down what happened and say what i want to say... or rather type wat i wanna type! so head on over to www.corruptedcharlotte.wordpress.com to read one very important part of my life - SPM and a bit about my 'pissed off' and 'ramblings' categories.

but here i am once again. the song Micheal Buble - Home is playing in my head. i'm quite content...really. hahah! i've got to say, this blog agrees with me. hahahh!

2006-10-16T18:25:00.000+08:00

things on Sunday looked pretty gud. in fact, it was really darn good. it started off with me waking up at 10.30 am and happily sms'ed Yvonne, kacau-ing her about the Nilai College Open Day. hahaha! she was already in the cyber cafe gaming furiously! hahaha! talk about leisure Sundays~

i fell asleep again and sms'ed me "you awake alredi or not!?" hahahah! she reli understands me! *cries in joy* ahahah! i was still lazing around when she sed " ok, my bro and i coming to pick u up now! " whoa~! i just jumped out of bed and ran around in panic, washing up, packing a set of clothes and my makeup then running downstairs to grab a bite. alamaks! no food la.... unless u want me to eat tht white chinese kuihmuih for vegetarians. no thanks~ i'm grabbing outside food. gimme gimee~ i got into Yvonne's car and off we went.

got a parking lot at Centre Point at 1pm and had McD's (hell yeah~!!!!) chatted alot with both of them. hahah! her brother is so farnie! then walked around in search for normal stuff~ had her glasses fixed and i spotted some clothes! ekekek! then we walked over to Asia City fer the college open day. i pratically died at the stair area... four floors up!? as in eight flights up!? o gosh...got up there and saw approx 20 ppl sitting in wait fer proffessional advice. o wells, sat there and had fun talking and checking the brochures. The lady who spoke to us was reli helpful and has this reli nice bracelet! i'm so hunting fer one of those! teeheez!

at three thirty, we got back to CentrePoint and i decided to check out the arcade with the siblings. honestly, i was like the 'sakai' there! hahahah! there were ppl driving initial D motion car games and i was like betting on some of the drivers. hahah! pathetic me.

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY aMELIa~!

Cassandra *childhood bestfren* called me then when i was in the arcade. i figured she must b wondering why on earth am i at such a place. heheh! its fun fer a change. so i met up with her and went off in search fer a birthday present fer Amelia *childhood fren*. we were both totally clueless on wad to buy her. Cass thought about something functional whereas i thought of sumthing glittery. hehehe! in the end, we found some really great looking presents from FootPrints. i was actually self-debating : " buy or not to buy fer meself!" okie okie , so we bought sumthing we thought was useful and gurlie~ kekek! i got a teddy bear which kinda hangs on the hp? i have yet to find one fer myself. i'm fussy, get used to it! ate at Kenny Rogers with Cass where we just talked alot. she likes macroni and cheese whereas i ate the fruit salad and a vanilla muffin, Y-U-M. kekeke! i truly enjoyed her company. its different. more relaxed and comedic. hahah! yet quite memorable to look and see a fren whom we've known since we were ten. hahah! we tricked Amelia by calling to tell her we were unable to attend her party at the beach.Amelia had a gud laugh. we all really changed. :)

played games and took a shower. there i lost my contact lens. gah! then i went over to the dining area of the club and saw Sarah and Moses, yet another two frens from long ago. not too close with sarah tho~ hahaha! Moses is quite good with conversation tho, it isnt always conversation. just piles of crap and laughs. hahaha! but still a gud fren nonetheless. had a cake-cream fight. ended running around in laughing fits. i got creamed a couple of times while we gave the birthday a creamy facial~ YamSeng a few times. played a few shots of pool fer the first time *yes sakai experience again!* haha! oh! i had my bag in the locker in the toilet room and i forgot the toilet is locked up at nine. so it was alredi ten thirty pm, so two security guard helped me by climbing up the wall into the top of the ladies bathing stall window and had my bag brought over. i was praising them and thanking them profusely. gave them each ten bucks fer 'rokok' la~ hahahah! i laughed me head off.

truly enjoyed this wonderful Sunday. Chilling to Bandaleros. hoping to study real hard as soon as possible! teeheez!

2006-10-14T13:56:00.000+08:00

so my class had to attend a career talk and we were prepared to sleep in the airconditioned surau with the old parrot-like school counsellor screeches .POP comes this reli small and round lady. awww...we smiled and thought O,FUN!

it started out reli bad as she didnt wanna use a mic. fussy woman. anyway, made us sit fer a half an hour Holland test to pinpoint our personalities and to see what careers fit us best.

it turned out reli funny as there was only ONE person who fell into the analytical category! harhar! and MOST OF MY CLASSMATES were in the artistic category (d'oh~), a reli small group of convensional ppl(boo-ring) , seven sosialites ( N-ice), two sexy mechanics (hoots*), and one expertise extrodinaire~( ka^ching )! hahahah! the extrodinaire bit was obviously not part of the word but its pointing at ME! heck, i noe self praise is reli not much of a real praise~cant help it!

so when we were separated into our own designated groups i was alone with Beatrice(analytical) and two sexy mechanics Maydeline(best gurlfren) and Norjaya. such a small lil group yet we were the loudest and noisiest bunch! hahahah! the lady who wanted to be called Kak then proceed to explain all about the Holland test and our personalities.

i cant possibly remember all the details but i am described as a very demanding person, loves to give orders, strong character, money minded, hard outside yet a softie inside and i'm best as a politician, lawyer or hotel manager. i was surprised. accurate. bullzeye!the whole class was goin :" 'tul...'tul...*meanin = true true*" the lady then asked a whole lotta questions like : " are u into business? have u worked? where and how do u like it? "

i felt very small... sitting in front of everyone letting them know my dreams. i feel tht it should be left fer me to dream or fer me to tell only my close buds. exposing my dreams made it seem so plain... its magical effects gone. but now it seems so much more realistic and in reach. can i truly achieve this ambition?

she made us draw a symbol and three words tht represent ourselves. hehe! i wanted to draw a pig then i thot of a devil but both dun seem right either. so i drew an angel with each hand holding a bag of money and a chest of love. and on its halo, honesty.hmm.. the last student,Sakinah explained her symbols and then bawled out the part where her symbol was a hand praying. she prays for a happy family. we all felt so sad, knowing that she lost her mom and her dad married again and she was truly like Cinderella, only worst. never welcomed in her home and her left leg a little shorter than her right, labeled a disabled.

so the career session evolved n students spoke softly about problems and i admit, me n May had bigger family problems yet we rather comfort others than talk.Kak made us understand tht this is the final and last time where we frens are going to be together. theres just no way we're ever goin to be all together like this after form five.we all quickly hugged and kissed cheeks. gosh, all of us ended up crying. i'm really close with all my classmates except for Mel and Nette(names hv been changed). two of them are like... not in my good books la.so i didnt touch them and later, i got an sms from Mel wondering why are we now enemies. i mentally retorted, who sed i'm ur enemy?! i'm just not ur fren! gosh , if u were my enemy, you wudnt even be still WONDERING! just like Nette.tht one is definitely not wondering. she got enuff hell from me. i just couldnt be bothered wit Mel n her attitude.it irritates me. so y make myself feel irritated right? so i just shut off all contact.

now i'm just worried. worried about a very good fren of mine. in fact, the best fren i've got. i hope all goes well as soon as possible. take care n lotsa luv. :)

2006-10-04T12:30:00.000+08:00

If you comment on this post:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must re-post this on your blog.

2006-10-04T08:48:00.000+08:00

October 6th

today is the las day of PMR and the lil 'pau'= bun, my fav form three junior has yet to return my scientific calculator causing me major problems for yesterday's additional math paper one and two. i was using my sister's calculator which was the newer model - 570 than to my old 350. darns... i had to search fer all the functions. and after sitting fer my EST exams which was till eight o clock a.m , i went back home and started work in the office.

there was so much invoices and recording yet to be done and...my mom, as usual went on nagging about how stressful her life is and she will tell me all about her new (and old) discoveries or secrets she found within the company. my face may look as if i'm o-so-interested! but reli... i was resisting the temptation of rolling my eyes, walking out of the office, or just start screaming at her. i'm not a rude or disrespectful child but she really brings out the worst in me. i love her as my mom, but it doesnt mean i love every thing she says and does. dad and i shared a few of the same opinions on mom. she is becoming too obsessive of the company. she thinks that the accountant and ex-secretary is conspiring against us. she is becoming a extreme workaholic - she works from seven thirty till six pm then continues from eight pm till eleven. wad d heck!? no wonder the house is in a mess, we hadnt had a proper home cooked meals fer months, and the friday family fun is so gone!

at eleven am, i went to my bedroom and fell asleep till Joyce came pounding on my door : "ce! telephone!" i walked all the way downstairs thinking.... why cant it be my handphone?! its the new era! we should be taking adva... " hello? oh..hey yvonne... yea..lets go out...where? oh yea...okie...take d bus? seriously? u take a bus? hahahaha! ok ok.. your dad send us? sure...bye" forget wad i sed abt handphones.... lets see a movie!

i took a cold shower, don a black U-neck shirt and navy blue jeans and nearly opted for a silk red handbag...heheh! but then i took the nude coloured one. i tied my hair in to a neat and tight pony tail. finally had a chance to wear my new earrings!

" lets watch this! hahah! they said its reli funny! its the last screening la wei~ yvonne, u sure u wanna watch this? sure ar... no i havent eaten lunch, i forgot. help me buy drink?" then i paid for the tickets to You,Me and Dupree. " Steam! Steam!" i turned around to see my lil 'Pau' ! hahahah! yea...together we're Steam Pau. dun ask y....cuz i forgot how it all started.

the movie rating fer the movie You,Me n Dupree? four n a half outta five! teehee!

i absolutely love the movie! its so major sweet! and touching... anf darn funny! i reli needed to watch a comedy to wind down and i enjoyed the movie! Yvonne was sitting on her hands cuz of the cold. and the dude sitting in front of us has a major contagious laugh! hahah! Owen Wilson is a great actor and cute too! Matt Dillon is so sweeeet! Micheal Douglas is just a classic actor. he along with Robin Williams ,Sean Connery and Julie Andrews. Kate Hudson is fantastic! she and Reese Witherspoon are my top two favs!

after the flick, went around shopping and i saw this reli nice shoe(vincci) ,jacket(mng), necklace (iora) and sling bag (adidas). hehehe! went home by Yvonne's dad's car. reli sporting and funny teacher :P

2006-10-04T07:32:00.000+08:00

" LAW!? excuse me?! say wha..? u gotta be kidding! " i giggled.
" what? reli bah*...... i reli think u have the stuff." he said seriously.
i'm like so...... flattered. "gee...thanks. but...wads the 'stuff'?" teeheez!
" the way you talk, look and behave?" he looked at me as if he knew i wasn't taking him seriously. not that i dont want to.with that, i couldnt reli bother to take it all in anymore. Law is just sooo out of my grasp. and alot of ppl taking law up as though its the easiest thing to do. in fact, in my family, theres four lawyers and ALL of them said its 110% NOT like Ally Mcbeal or Boston Legal! they work both locally and overseas. so i rather not be one. my dad is not a qualified lawyer but he had studied law unofficially and.... he represents himself in court (no surprise) after being in there a quarter of a million times. and recently, i attended a hearing and it reli fascinated me and my dad kinda saw it. so i think he is actually considering forcing me head into it. i wont. dun bother trying.

"i wanna do business management." i stood my ground.
" why? what management do you want to be involve with? cant you decide on a more professional career?"
" its pretty professional to me! besides what the hell am i to be if not business?"
"tourism. the tourism industry."
" what!?"
the images of dirty laundry, kitchens, and receptionists made me wanna drop dead.
" not that kinda job, u silly ox! i meant hotel management. you can do a specialist hotel management studies which i think you can easily grasp."
" oh thanks fer the praise on my lil brain, dad. you have SO much confidence in me."
i hadnt much complains about tht. but wads the effing diff with business and hotel MANAGEMENT? i shud have made him faint and sed 'dogwalker'!

i woke up, walked to the toilet and saw....saw.... a cockroach! on the wall.... i screamed. i didnt mean to. my mom glared at me while the hero of the day = Joyce(lil sister!) just used the slipper and smacked it dead. omg! my clean wall.... i was itching to spray dettol! but...hurray! its dead and the best thing was... it fell from the wall straight unto the dustpan. so i conveniently dumped it into the bin. my lil sister rolled her eyes, washed her hands and feet and went into her room to sleep again. while brushing my teeth i kept looking around to see if theres another one.

gosh... tht is just the few reasons why i hate moving into new houses. its not the NEW, as in just built. NEW as in i just moved in. this blardy bungalow hasnt been occupied fer some years and my dad bought it for.... nvm. u get it. to my misery, the toilet fer me and my second sister had bugs. i think its the hole... u noe the one where water gets flowed out? wads it called again? sewage pipe? omg...forget it... i'm getting so scared of the bugs. not that it appears in the hundreds but once in a blue moon. heck, i've made sure the toilet is cleaned nearly daily with detergent and dettol! call me a cracko but i feel more safe from those critters after the washes. Tiramisu aka Lucky, my lil dawg learned to do the 360 degree turn on two feet and has been doin it alot lately. plus he can beg? like he puts his front paws together and shakes it up n down as if to ask fer an angpow. and he knows sit, down, stay(not for long), and come. thts alot fer the small furball. he's getting so furry i cud just skin him alive.

2006-10-02T18:10:00.000+08:00

Sila dimaklumkan : Blog ini akan dikurangkan aktiviti mulai haribulan 1 Oktober sehingga 30 November. Inilah kerana pemilik blog akan menghadapi peperiksaan SPM tidak lama lagi dan haruslah berusaha mengulangkaji sebanyak 10 subjek ( yang semua pun tidak digemari pemilik). Harap semua yang menduduki peperiksaan SPM tahun ini pun berusaha sedaya upaya masing-masing dan semoga berjaya. Selamat Hari Raya dan Deepavali. Salam Sejahtera!

hahahahahahahahhahhahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaah!

2006-09-30T11:38:00.000+08:00

[.light a candle please.]

be a sweetie and help others in need by lighting a candle. like what we learn in moral studies, children should grow up the best they can be.dont let them be tortured or worst, sexually abused. the aim is to light A MILLION candles by the 31st of December.

2006-09-30T11:00:00.000+08:00

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped......... after I started doing thesame thing to them at funerals.

2006-09-29T14:58:00.000+08:00

.stop the violence.

omg! poor lil kiddo! i reli think that cybergames are getting way outta control. this is wad happen... not reli la.... i got it by word of mouth actually by friends.

teen goes to cyber cafe. plays Dota. play play play VS some other older teens. younger teen won and yells : " YEA! loser!!!!" then got dragged to the emergency staircase, and...poor thing, got beaten up. *sobz*

[.click here to see d video.]

i think those guys are plain idiots. honestly, they should grow up. five against a small boy like dat! geez man, what's wrong with the world today.....

2006-09-26T16:34:00.000+08:00

it may have been nearly a month ago. but i finally feel comfy enuff to spill the beans... *sorry bennie boi*

yesterday, after skewl , i played the piano for quite a while and made me recall some memories.... some that i dun reli wanna to keep replaying it in my brain..but it did anyway. then i felt all teary and off i went in search of bennie. i was grumbling...."no such luck la, he's sure to be in tuition" . Lo and behold, he was there. but then...i didnt know how to tell him. i have emotion all bottled so tightly inside... i wanted to tell him. i tried. failed. tried one more time and burst into tears. i went off. and went to have dinner with my family members despite comments on my wet lashes. i came back and tried one more time. but he kept disconnecting and i think he kinda figured i was near explosion.

he called....my phone was on silent so he had to IM me to pick up my hp. i practically crawled to the living room....squeezed thru the front door and sat next to the koi pond and saw.......tea-ger. my ex-dog over at my neighbour's house using his paws to 'angpow' me. begging me over to pet him. sweet...

but i spoke to bennie. he made me realise...guys dun reli use their brains but rather their dicks. i cudnt agree more. i have experience now. i know tht statement is o-so-true. tee hee! not insulting the males. i'm just teasing. i will chill. i will take care. you must quit worrying, u worrying bunker hole. dun u dare forgot those sms'es! i'm holding yer to it! but tht only applies if u've got credit aite? i will not blame meself but i'll definitely blame bothsides now. haahaa! u take care~ i'm seventeen. so are u. i guess most seventeens have raging hormones. so typical. i'm still safe. still a V**G*N. :)

2006-09-25T20:29:00.000+08:00

i've always been called impulsive. i know that too. though it happened nearly two months back, i cant stop regretting it. then only did i realise just how impulsive i can be. what i did is wrong but it seemed okay at that moment la. thats wad basically hacking my mind right now.

i wrote an eassay for my second trials entitled : beauty. out of all the choices, simple choices , i had to choose that one right? sighs... the essay probably steered towards aneroxic and the fashion industry. makes me worry alot about getting lower marks for the english paper. yea, i'm the queen of kiasu-ness in english examinations. i'm crowned and i seriously don wanna lose it anytime soon. tee hee.

about the first paragraph. when i reli think throughly, i cant seem to find a friend i can reli talk to face to face right now. yea... i have friends. plenty of them. i have gud friends. a handful. i have best friends. just a sprinkle. yet there are certain degrees of intimacy tht can be shared among best friends. still, the best friend i reli need is across the ocean. i guess we have sumthing that i've nvr had with my other best buds. i guess i do trust him. he proved alot. not that i dun trust the others. maybe in due time. just maybe.

i do blame myself for what happenned. maybe being a youth and an adult altogether stinks. i'll be online a whole lot less now....SPM looming ahead. arounf the riverbend. the corner. wadever.

2006-09-20T13:51:00.000+08:00

went to tuition with my friends fer the afternoon class cuz i was sick of feeling sleepy at night classes. it was sooo much better. there, i feasted my eyes on a guy aka eyecandy. heehee! I may be in love with someone fer years... and i'm still waiting fer him. but i still believe in having real gurl fun. i do flirt and date guys but! always non-commitedly. unless i find another great guy to make me forget the current one. i'll thank him profusely! i'm no outrageous beauty but i'm glad i'm not hideous either~ hahah! i still have fun. :)

i reli think need to wake myself up from the silly idea that if i wait patiently and faithfully for him, he might do the notice and do the same for me. that's just a load of childish fantasy. i tried to think that way and suddenly, i feel like i began to hate him. so i just stopped. the feeling of not wanting to think the thoughts that arent pleasant. i've always thought love had a happy ending. and i don't want mine to be bad. who does? he had three girlfriends and often introduced them to me and i've been cool thus far. how long am i suppose to take? to keep smiling and talk like normal friends? i'm so close to giving up but just cant seem to take the last step of letting go and walking away. no, i dun pine and think of him endlessly. i love him in my heart but i do go on with life without thinking of him to distraction or destruction.

i look back in life and i feel tht i've misused and wasted my teen love life away. just before i was a teen, i've alredi fallen hard fer him. cuz i had him in mind, i pursued but when we dated, i chickened out. foreseeing sumthing i know i cudnt accept. so i stopped and began to learn how to accept people for who their reli are. somewhere down the learning curb, i tool a longer time than expected and i guess he went on. i was hurt but moved on. i got my fair share of guys and we still were gud buddies. i think i was just gud in covering up. he never suspected those feelings again. now, it's reaching the limit... i think its SPM stress causing this after seven years...

How old were you exactly when u started to rebel....
How old were you when you first….

Had your first real kiss- 12

Fell in love- kindy, i can proudly say i had a husband!

Lost someone close to you?- 14

Tried alcohol- 13

Got your heart broken?- 12

Got arrested- hahah! I hope nvr.

Smoked a cigarette- one suck and hated it.

Broken a bone- it just wont break.

Got cheated on- 17

Rode the bus- 15

Went to a concert- 14

Dyed your hair- 14

Got a car- 17

Got your own cell phone- 13

Got a myspace - notplanning to...

Snuck out of the house- 13

First time u got drunk?- 16

2006-09-16T22:50:00.000+08:00

Andy Roddicks

okie....i was sick fer three days and two nights with fever. on Thursday morning, i was already feeling the headpounding migraine which left me dizzy and wads worse....during Addmath class, i ate two panadols, in vain hope that it'll fade away only to make me drowsy. and by.... one thirty in the afternoon, i walked home in a rather fast pace, STILL hoping it was probably bad blood circulation tht caused my migraine. i reached home and plopped in the library couch. i actually forgot to switch on the fan and air cond. Mandy came into the library hoping to find a chatbuddy, teased me about being the stingypoker and swatted me bum. no reaction. she laughed and poked me in the ribs then pinched my nose. " Oi~! u got fever ar?!"

o dere goes my promise to myself about "i will not skip skewl anymore!" campaign to achieve better SPM results.

fer the next two days, there i lay in my bed being 'tortured' - actually,in her words, pampered- by my sister. slapping on the wet towels and ice pack, forcing gallons of water in me and she only succeeded bribing me to eat a sandwich. the bribery was : - i'll have revenge pretty soon. hey! i was sick and tired of her constant bickering. i dint wanna fight no more. so i just nod and she just sat there waiting. i just wanted sleep! i dunwanna eat tht! i gobbled anyway and she smile triumphantly and left. yea, thts ALL i ate fer three days! hahahahhahaahah! n u noe Cottage bread are farting small! and the price is just plain stupid~ i dun understand y mom wants to buy and "try fer a while ma!"

i got better this morning at two am. i felt hyper. i look at Mandy, she looked exhausted. bleh. will kacau her another day, i started cleaning my room as i've neglected it fer three days. PLUS my grandfather is coming on Monday! HURRAH! i patiently cleaned my room, read a Cleo mag, and found a couple of shirts tht i assumed were lost under the pile of clothes on my cushion! FINALLY! eight o'clock came! i showered and jumped on my dad's bed like i wud a child. well, d'oh! i made sure where i landed right!? and i dun think the bed will collapse, its bloody solid oak. i might break instead. it sparked off a conversation i did not intend - studies. but dad made it very enjoyable though. but just over an hour......i just.....just had to! i had to .... " D... i'm reli starving la wei~".

i'll probably blog less from now on as....its actually a month away from SPM? dun panic ,Char..... breathe in n out , in n out~ omg!..... migraine?

take a gud look!

2006-09-14T13:26:00.000+08:00

getta noe me a lil more in detail... one woman's eyecandy is another's barfbag.

turn on:
people with dogs . cyclist . water sports . business minded . almond eyes . humour . confidence . dancing . intelligence . goofiness . average body . social drinkers . facial hair, only if it looks like his --->

turn off:
body odour . baby talk . brainiacs . long hair . piercings . sweat . tan lines . tattoos . hunting . smokers . pot mouth . unfaithfulness .

PS: i'm not indicating tht Ben is my eyecandy orite!? NO OFFENCE TO BEN! you're a fantastically great best fren! hahahah! you are crazy if u thot that i was saying ben is my eyecandy! i was enjoying a moment to share my pretty candies fer ya'all! yer ungrateful peanuts.

2006-09-11T15:09:00.000+08:00

'this is the first time u put up an original pic!'
'what?'
'painting?'
'yea, painting the wall for kerja amal'
'this one is reli cute la!'

then the conversation about anime and real life photoes, somehow it evolved into the subject: TEETH. we talked abt bad experiences with needles and reli ugly dental nurses. i had a reli major huge indian nurse and i started screaming n crying to get away once she tried to inject me with sum aneasthetic! ANYWAY~! back to the present... then i asked Yun, : 'does braces hurt?' 'no... its just tight.'

tht was pretty enuff fer me to back off. sighs...my parents had been pestering me to put on braces since form two but bleurgh! i dun wanna! 'how long did u wear it?' '2 years.' hmmmm! tht doesnt sound too bad. but i reli have this phobia for dentist clinics, dentist and...nurses. Yun then proceeded to scare me with tales of ppl having 4 - 6 of their teeth pulled out just to wear braces. 'if u ever decide to do it when u're older, it'll be even more painful.'

'i'm scared la....'
'find a hot dentist and i'm sure u'll get over this'
'oooo...gud one! *winkz*' i'm alredi considering braces. o gosh...wad have i put myself into....

eyecandy guycandy eyecandy guycandy eyecandy guycandy eyecandy guycandy eyecandy guycandy eyecandy guycandy eyecansy guycandy kaka,tom welling,shane west,jesse spencer

A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO bENJAMIN tEOH jUN kAI! UR oFFICIALLY sEVENTEEN!

josh holloway,ian somerhalder,tyron leiso....

2006-09-10T19:30:00.000+08:00

i woke up at eight am, groggily took a shower, did the chores in utter silence as i'm not into talking in the early morning and then went into the office to check on the records of cashflow. it was probably two pm when i finally emerged from the growing piles of file and documents. i cleaned up my desk and locked up. amazingly, i felt drained of energy. i laughed at the thought of me when i'm even older. so far, my gasthritis and stomach have been fine.

so , i just plopped on the couch to watch telly when the winds started blowing really hard and rain soon fell....and there goes the Astro signals. i was at pinnacle of frustration. breathe in, out, in, out. okie... i went and feed the kois under an umbrella, praying for the lightning to strike me then i saw Tiramisu sitting between my squatted knees, looking at the fish eating. Misu kinda woke me up by telling me to take it easy and enjoy the view. and surprisingly, i did. who wud have known? learning life lessons from a puppy.

i had a rather interesting chat with Yun late last night till early this morning. its pretty great to finally meet eye to eye on a subject with someone who's in the exact same situation. it was about people's assumption : rich gurls. i've been called that all my life - jokingly, sarcastically or cynically. so has Yun. and we found out we both hated it and had the similiar retorts : Yun's -"i'm not rich, my parents are. and they worked really hard for it." Char's - "my parents are rich and they worked hard to be where they're at right now."

i admit, as a baby, i was pampered and grew up without the slightest of financial worries. my dad was a multi millionaire when i was 3, but i was not the spoilt as i was brought up in my dad's office with his staff, and was trained from there and them. i did my homework with my dad, and spent 95% with dad and the rest was with my family and friends. my mom was alredi fully occupied with my lil sister and i learnt fast that i wud nvr be mommy's lil gurl anymore..or ever will. then, the economic crisis hit my dad's numerous companies hard. but i didnt feel too bad, like i sed, i grew up hard and not pampered by money so i just found other ways to support myself and lighten my family's financial burden. my dad sold all the companies, assets and properties we had and left for KL. then, my dad started over. i lived my life rather independently and was proud that my dad noted it. he too was showing signs of success all over again. then in the middle of form two, my dad announced he was well established once more. he had two running companies, a car shop and got a house for us to move back. basically, my dad is the sole breadwinner of the family. thats wad i respect and love him for. maybe thats why i have nvr twitched at ppl calling me daddy's lil gurl than to rich gurl. dad is just the closest person in my heart... i love him lots for the sacrifices he has made and the love he gave me. i'm getting damn emotional here. haahaa! yea~ he's smart, fun, loving and rich. mentally and spiritually.

2006-09-10T00:21:00.000+08:00

4 Sept 06
This week thus far has been piled on by stress. Nothing…nothing but STRESS. Not that I’m complaining about work…well, actually I am! We fired two secretaries and a head manager on Friday and now I’m left to work in the head office as secretary. But I thank God profusely fer giving me the chance to learn secretarial works last year. So my parents are pretty grateful too while they sort out their trust issues to employ another secretary. And my dad hinted it could be fer another few months. Omg! Has everyone forgot I have SPM!? Yes I do love business but without time to study after skewl, wad the heck?! There goes my spm results! Since it’s the beginning of the month, theres even more work! I keep typing out invoices, d/o’s, letters and statements. Oh gosh… I hate recording the cash flows and transactions. I feel like screaming! Anyway…my trials (1) results came back and actually, I’m pretty satisfied with it. I failed addmath(no surprise) , accounts (minor surprise), and history ( no biggie). I know I can do much better but I reli have lost the drive or enthusiasm to go on a studying spree like I had in form 3.

6 Sept 06
The end of the year luncheon has been turned into a dinner. Again! The skewl changed it once more! O drats! Just when I thought I bought the perfect luncheon dress! Now I have to change the plans with my hair dresser and continue my long forgotten dinner plans that included some gurl time with friends. grrrrrr....

8 Sept 06
I feel like yelling at someone.I’m just greatly annoyed when it comes to her. O yea, I reli do feel like going all cynical at her but o well, I thought the better of it. I reli shouldn’t be wasting my time on fantasies of ways to kill or torture her. But the brain and the heart doenst alwez have the same opinions.My heart demands to let it all out, screw consequences, scream out loud! My brain then thinks of the punishments from skewl, parent and God should I do such things. Sighz… she was a fren. But way too…. Unpolished. I’m sorry if I don’t seem to be in the place to criticize others. My opinion : she is a two faced, unloyal, pandai ‘cat hai’=suck up and annoying spoiltbrat. no life , if i migh add. she doesnt help out at home, she yells at her dad and all she does is study. i think that’s my MAJOR flaw in befriending others. I’m just too easily irritated and when she said out loud that I’m bad in my studies, I lost it. So what if you’re the top student? I dun give a damn if I suck! unlike you, at least I have frens whom are true. In your case,they befriend you for the benefits of you teaching them. Other than that ,we all find you irritating and stuck up as any other bitch. Sadly, because of my promise to hold my tongue until after SPM, she’ll nvr know tht. By then, she’s probably the last thing on my mind. Or I might find the time to blow up right after the last paper.that sounds pretty gud.

9 Sept 06
I feel tired. Currently doing my additional mathematics project and I’m quite confused. Am I suppose to provide two or three solutions!? Bleurgh! And then today, I feel rather…dreamy. Or fantastically dreamy. I kept dreaming about him. yea… all over again. Its been so long since I last thought of him. it’s like, finally remembering where u hid ur long forgotten diary. It was so warm and nice to recall sweet memories. Awww… I feel all mushy. Hehehe! I’m hooked on durian sweets now. I bought a whole packet of ‘em! And in skewl, everyone was asking, : “macam ada bau durian bah!” buakaka! Then I distributed the sweets to everyone and the class smelt pretty yummy. I looked at my calendar and there left approximately one month to SPM. I reli don’t noe how I wud survive. I’m not redi…not even 50%. Yikes…. My trials are horrid. I dun wanna fail three subjects in SPM! Who wudnt fail a few subjects if the passing mark is fifty , u imbeciles! In fact I dun wanna fail at all! Arghhhh! And wad was the comment my class teacher wrote on my report card?!

“Charlotte, your results are not comforting. So, spend more time to revise. Hurry up!, Spm is just around the corner.”

Don’t u think I want to!? He’s a great class and econ teacher but omg! He nags like my mother. He jokes and tells a million and one grandmother stories. Hahaha! And wad is wrong with the malls nowadays!? All they supply is Hong-Ki (LaLa) fashion?! All the fluff and lace mixed with exaggerated layers of fabric and fake gemstones. Wad do u want us, decent teens to look like!? Walking wedding cakes!? And the clothes are obscenely skimpy and the price is sky high. I saw a tube-like cotton top with a strip of lace on the hem which I thot was simple and nice, flipped the price tag and gave a gasp : RM 98 after discount. Wad on shopping-world is a kinda price like dat!? Heck, its not even branded, its cotton and the lace is not even a yard long! The cost of which the shopkeeper bought should be at most Rm30! Greedy pig. And then I was looking for some shoes, there was two which caught my eye. One was a white mary-jane shoe with sequins sewn on and the other was peach in colour with a sewn on flower mary-jane shoe. Sorry, I’m currently into Mary-Jane shoes. Flipped the price tag and laughed. The first was RM72 and the other was RM102. maybe its just me, or the prices are reli shot up sky high. O… and Ben? Your welcome.

2006-09-04T21:53:00.000+08:00

hahaha! i remember ben saying this to me: "char, shoot me with your father's gun." or..sumthing

like dat. basically, just shoot him. then i declined and he replied : " nuke (nuclear) me." i didnt answer him but now... i'm thinking..." ben, shoot me. just shoot me."

i actually wrote a whole loong emo post but... i thought abt it and erased it fer the better of me. i read Ben's blog. and my heart is warmed. i guess i'm a lil unstable rite now. wobbly and woozy. i'm pretty amazed he remembered and thats reli rare among guys. they HARDLY remember anything on friendships, especially best-fren-frenships. so...THX BEN. u've been the ear i can reli babble to and seek advice whenever i need it. :)

and then there is Wai. i have yet to see or hear anything major negative abt him! the fella is a must-meet! hahahah! thanks fer being such a great fren! my lil sis thanks ya fer the encouragement and reward fer her UPSR! u da man!

Jia Wei? u crazy saucy naughty pretty gurl~! haaah! thanks fer all da special gurl talk that i cant possibly get from anyone else.and about the lets-survive-SPM-together (with macho grades!), yeah~ thts pretty encouraging~ hmmm~ hugz!

peace to u too, May. enough said. u know it alredi.

i'm tired. sick. frustrated. angry. sad. worried. stressed. irritated. annoyed. grouchy. argh! y this year? y now? y not next year or NEVER.

seeing RED

2006-09-02T15:24:00.000+08:00

u know the feeling of ...unbridled or constant worry? maybe i'm wrecked with it right now. the sources of worry: 1. my dad 2. company business 3. spm studies.

so why am i online? i guess its cuz i'm one who cant let my worries spill to just about anyone.

its useless telling my mom as she is somebody who cant really be a comfort. she's a total opposite of comfort. she'll tell me in my face that she's wrecked with more worries than to listen to mine and then proceed off track on how hard it is to run the business. then go on nagging.

telling dad.... i just wouldnt. i wouldnt want to burden him even more with my worries. he's a total sweetie and will tell me to quit worrying and focus on my studies.yea, i know he's right. but i cant stop worrying over these matters.

telling my sister, Mandy? i just cant. i may be younger but i dont think any less mature, still, i wont tell her much. i usually tell wad i think shud be told though she may be older than me. as the younger daughter, i somehow got my dad's trust and favouritism. i openly say the word : favouritism as it is also widely accepted that i am his favourite. so, wth.

wad is wrong with people nowadays? we gave them a job when they came to us as close to begging fer it. we gave them salaries that are considered high and in return, they betray our trust, threaten us and make a mess of our accounts?! bloody hell, without a complete high skewl education, we gave him a job and after ten friggin years, he betrays us? thanks alot man... so much for talking and telling me all abt Buddhism. no offence to u Buddhists out there. its just tht...they made me think the worst of them alredi when i actually look at them as part of happy second family thingy, u noe? gosh....

2006-08-29T16:22:00.000+08:00

this is the missing part of the post when i went out for the picnic with me luvly frens which mysteriously dissappeared.

i left the beach in Hana's peminat(slave)'s car along with another five gurls. tht'll make.. eight of us in the fella's Pajero. we set off to Centre Point where i wanted to do some lightweight shopping. Lily went off to greet sum other frens and Hana went off with her bf so left me and Yvonne to do our evil deeds. haahaa! we ate lunch at Cactus Cafe, and honestly, they serve reli great lunch dishes...then went off shopping and got myself a orange shirt! heheh! retail therapy works!

i called my sis,Mandy to plz pick us up..... and she sed yes. walked across the street to McD's! i ordered a sundae fer me self and Yvonne didnt want one? sobz sobz....all by meself.... mom called and asked me to buy two sets of McD meals which i did. and funnily, my sister Mandy bought another two sets cuz my mom forgot she alredi told me to do so. nvm, we got four sets! hahahah!

got home and watched CSI while happily munching our McD's. I was enjoying my all time favourite - Double Cheeseburger and then i heard.... " wad the...?" from Mandy. she was pulling a part of a broken white spoon from her beef foldover. all four of us were in shocked when my mom sed: " o well, lets go and change it la." since Mandy didnt want to do it, so i was the one who had to talk to the Manager. and he gladly compensated me.well, d'oh! i have to admit, i was rather fierce when i told him to look into the foldover and see if anything is amiss in there. and he was puzzled as the rest of the workers when he saw it. and i then questioned him on how a PLASTIC spoon ended up in there? he was stuttering at first so i cutted in and asked: " could it be in there cuz a staff was using it to eat the beef stew" *insert a hearty chuckle here* he apologized and sed he would check and wud gladly compensate me. he did and off i went. i then mentally assumed i was probably 40% angry at that time. i was alredi drained out by the time i reached home. i took a bath and decided to sleep. but the a knock came and i yelled : " i'm tired all over! i need sleep! g'nite"

" ce, the chicken meat(in the chickenMcBurger) is not cooked." my lil sis,Joyce muttered. oh-my-gosh..... i could believe my ears! it was pinkish and slightly bloody.... only the outer layer which was the flour was fried!!! how can McD make such an impossible mistake!? and i knew my sis and mom were sending me to complain. again!

imagine ur whole body in pain, ur eyes scratchy from the lack of sleep, ur brain blurry from a migraine, and blessed with my kinda temper(short fuse) like mine. being presented this for the second time, and asking me to go to town to the same freaking place fer the third time, is just....RIDICULOUS! HOW CAN MCDONALDS DO THIS TO ME! AGAIN!? HOW MUCH TIME ON FOOD,COMPLAIN AND DRIVING SHUD I KEEP WASTING FER MY SLEEP?

" hey, i'd like to talk to the manager right now." "yes, i'm the manager."
i just stared at this lil maggot and thought, you? the manager?gotta be kidding, ur unifor is diff and ur the person i spoke to just now.

" ohkay. i bought a beef foldover just now and was compensated with this burger when a broken spoon was inside. now i have come to be compensated cuz i found this. *throws the burger on the counter* tell me wad u see *wearily sighs and rolls eyes* ."

" ala..." "yea, its uncooked and i'm very angry. do u want to compensate my petrol, time and money? wad abt my inconvenience? i cannot believe that u can make sucha mistake? you call McDonalds a international brand? i will also demand to be settled a medical bill should there be any food poisoning from u and ur team's disregard on quality of food. please go get the complain file and the manager." i think the gurl manager felt embarrassed fer being talked to so loudly ( which i admit again, it was loud but not too embarrassing) and quickly walks to the office.

Pop comes out another manager who....to my still increasing irritation/anger/annoyance, does not speak gud english and i think he doesnt even understand half the things i sed. so i was getting angry, and to my utmost irritation, he asked : " ah, madam, you talk malay?" its 'MISS' u idiot.

i looked at him with my so-called-trademark-look. he didnt bother waiting fer my answer and brought back another manager. this time, i just laughed in front of them. i sed : " lets take a seat." the third manager profusely apologized and he brought out a piece of white paper and some medical bills then sat down. i was given a drink and we started talking like buddies. i was laughed cuz it was hilarious to see people running around in chaos, trying to find the troublemaker and how to calm me down as alot of people were looking over.

" first mistake, u made me wait THREE minutes when there was only ONE fella making orders in front of me. wad happen to the under one-minute service guarantee? second mistake, the broken spoon. third, the uncooked chicken. fourth, u gave me a manager who cant handle complaining customers, lastly, the second manager doesnt understand english!"

but in the end, i cooled down and talk quite friendly to him, Mr Sudin. we reached to a agreement, i get two sets as meal compensation, medical bills settled and i filed a official complain. and he jokingly added :" at least u dun go to the newspaper." and as my usual self, i smiled and purposely looked at his name : " wad a great idea, Mr Sudin." he quickly shrivelled back into his professional shell.

then, i went back into the car and slept. obviously my mom and Joyce were happy. they didnt do the durty work of complaining. its quite tiring....really.

just peachy!

2006-08-27T16:18:00.000+08:00

nice weather fer a picnic......! and i did go fer one! YAY! yvonne and lily shared a ride with me whereas we had a very interesting driver - my elder sister Mandy who had not driven the family car fer four months. so it was quite exhiting as u'll nvr know wad will happen, it cud be the engine dying off suddenly in the middle of the road, at the traffic light, or during a Uturn. gosh...i was scared outta my wits, in the passenger seat rite beside her! i was obviously getting the most 'action'! anyway, i arrived at my destination in one piece - Thank gudness! met up with me classmates at the beachside and had fun just talking abt the weeklong holidays we had. most of them reli had a HOLIDAY! and i was studying...man, how i envy them. and how cud i spent my holidays like dat!?

1.beautiful view....it never ceases to calm me down.love it.

2.hello , u soon-to-be-dead-for-sure lil hermit crab

1.Yvonne,Hana,Lily( my three very gud buddies) and melody.
2.a close knit bunch of us....

1.enjoying the sea and sun~ Tanjung Aru

2. i think i like this silver VolksW most! its got great interior and a kewl engine!

1.more lil VW at Tanjung Aru! i luv'em lil bugs!

2. they reli do blend with the cars dun they? hahhah!

ok so we were walking past the VW car exhibition/competition/gathering, just me,Lily(purple) and Yvonne(black) to the my club to take a shower. and i love that club! i practically grew up in there. i know all the older generation of staffs! so yea, i'll be there talking to the older people for hours! i actually get to go into the supervision room, the security headquarters and other places like dat. heheh! and i get quite alot of other benefits lor..heheh! like unlimited access to the gym and spa! meaning i dun have to wait and log in. so after the refreshing bath, and looking into the vanity mirror, i saw the baby size toilet bowl and....decided to take a pic! many thanks to my photographer~

"har har har! faster take d pic before sumone comes! quick! har har har!"

simple n plain

2006-08-25T23:11:00.000+08:00

Went out to day with a fren of mine , Kelvin. And it was pretty orite. Had fun and some laughs. compared to other hang outs with a guy in KK, this is the best thus far. To my other guy buds, no offence man!

Woke up reli early in the morning, struggled to get up unto my comfy chair and started to ….do mathematics Spm sets. How pathetic… until eight or so. Helped around in the house and then got ready to go out with Kelv.

“ The inheritance? This is ur literature homework?” I asked as plunked down unto his couch. We yanked fer quite sum time then his dad gave us a lift to the mall. Bought tickets to watch Nacho Libre, he paid. And went to eat sushi, he paid. J hmmmm….

The movie was funny, not the best though. It had its moments. Not going to spoil it fer ya guys who haven’t watched it yet. FYI, I’m not a Jack Black fan. But I think I will be a mini fan of his sidekick, the Mexican! Hahahah! HE was funnier than Jack!

Went off to buy ONE eraser fer my sister who urgently needed it but was at tht time, at a hair saloon! So much fer urgently needing one~

I won Kelvin in a bowling game! Wahahaha! I had a strike and two spares! OMG! Lucky me! We shopped around and I spotted this beautiful top! And then a shorts! Omilordie! Retail addiction was about to overpower me once again. Kelvin just saved me by suggesting sum where else. So off we went to McDees where I paid fer his McFlurry and my sundae. HmmMmmMMmmmn…

Since there was a massive traffic jam, a near standstill, Kelvin’s dad and his business partner decided to have tea at the nearby coffee shop. While eating, the uncle asked me quite a number of questions. Not just those typical questions! I was sooo nervous…. He asked questions like, wads ur ambition? Why is dat? It is a tough industry, you want to do that?..etc etc.

So yeah, I think I passed the interview well. And the reward? I think it was an hour or two car ride in the traffic jam back home. Hahahah! And the bonus? Heavy rain which made me soaking wet when I came out of the car and my left shoe came off and I kinda got stuck there,trying to wear my shoe back on. Hahahahahahahah! It was stupid…

of all things......

2006-08-23T19:45:00.000+08:00

i am not an impossibly happy teen. no, not asking fer sympathy or attention. just stating a fact. wad do u expect me to do? go around showing a sour face and groan abt my troubles? GET A LIFE ! be productive. i hate ppl who make assumptions about me. hate it. hate it. hate it.

these r assumptions i've got, the ones i get most and hate most.

1. rich gurl.
who'd hell gives you the right to judge me and my money? i have loads of monetary issues and i'll bet your family doesnt have HALF as much monetary problems as i have so shut up!

2.carefree gal
if there is a truly carefree gal or guy in this world, the person has gotta be mad. this assumption abt me is relevent to the righ-gurl assumption. to so many ppl, rich gurls are carefree gurl, right? wrong! i have hurdles to cross and obstacles to overcome like any teenager! so if i'm so carefree, SO.ARE.YOU!

3. *****
beats me, but nearly every gal has been called one (or similiar) in her life. for an answer, ppl tell me i'm one cuz i'm too straightforward. wth!? get real~ i'm not TOO straightforward as you quickly assumed so. if you cant handle the truth, just walk away.

4. 'i knoe ur smart, dun be so rajin la, y so kiasu(scared to lose)?'
well, geez, thanks fer the compliment...or was it? nope, not in my book. thanks fer calling me smart but honestly, i am kiasu! thank gudness, not kiasi(scared to die). life is a rat race.. the rat who is sneaky, fast, and diligent ,most of the time wins. all i knoe is, if i'm not kiasu, i will 'su'! get it? why lose when ur given the chance to gain.

5. proud
just wad kinda proud? me, being the teacher's lil star pupil, gossip gal, or her pet? me, being popular in skewl? me, being the centre of attention? or me, leaving you in the shadow? jealous of me yet? forget it... calling me 'sombong' or 'hidung tinggi' aint goin to change me-being me. i cant help it if you get brushed aside in class, with teachers, in tuition, or when we're hanging out. yea, i'm proud. being me. you should be proud of urself too.

6. drama-mama
i'm not addicted to drama. it's addicted to me. in fact, i get irritated by drama. i'm quite silent in class and with frens, a fun and comfy atmosphere is woven around us. i never evoke drama. it just comes hunting fer me. and ppl think i dun wanna help them, cuz i run away from it. puh-leez! i have better things to do.

so the point is... dont assume la! gee! ur just irritating.... and stupid. damn stupid.

2006-08-22T18:46:00.000+08:00

frenship day had come and gone... i had fun receiving sms's and exchanging handshakes and the group hugs. not to mention inside jokes and knowing grins. without friends, and besty best friends like Ben,Georgine,Wai n May * roll eyes and grins * , i have to mention their special names or they might 'merajuk'. hehehe! so i was saying, without frens, life wud be o-so-platonic~

cheers ya'all~

2006-08-21T14:39:00.000+08:00

what happens when u stand up for the sake of others and to FOUR teacher-in-training's mistake? u either be told RELI nicely to sit down, be apologized to , yelled back at or the discipline teacher might do his thang~

wad happened to me was... i had to tell them that "conglomerate" and "congolmerate" is not the same thing! FYI, "conglomerate" is a number of things held together(mass). the other word isnt found in the big book of words! but the four of them insisted * rather sweetly actually * that they're quite sure its right. the four of them were sent from a nearby university to help us in our math and english subjects. during math class, they were pretty orite. no, i'm not proud or such. i'm just a decent mathematical student. not much help needed. thanks~ english? not proud of it either. i really didnt want to correct FOUR of them but i noticed quite a number of students jotting the error down so i felt a lil irresposible or a tad guilty. * hello?~ help ur friends!!! *

" er, miss? in the sentence : they hid among the congolmerate rocks for safety. the word 'congolmerate', is it spelt that way?" *pressing my fingers on the table top and prays*
" yes, it is. why? any other way to spell it?"
"...... er, theres shud be another way to spell it, i think. *stupid bitch* shouldn't it be c-o-n-g-l-o-m-e-r-a-t-e?"
" huh? what is the difference, if i may ask?"
" *sure you may ask, who's stopping you?....stupid cow.* it should be G-L-O not G-O-L." i slightly raised my voice in irritation.
" no, i don't think so. thank you,girl, for trying ok? now sit down, we still have paper two to discuss later."
*WTFH!? TRY!? WHO SAID I WAS TRYING?! i'm telling it in your face!*
" miss, i think that.."
" girl! i just asked you to sit down!"
" no, i wont sit down till you confirm the spelling and exact meaning of the word!" shyt shyt shyt shyt....

....
...*silence*
....

with infinite patience, i can see that written all over her face, she calmly replied.

" we've discussed the paper many times and we're quite sure its completed with acceptable answers."
" i did not say that, you did. all i want to know is ... is the spelling correct? cuz i've not come across such."
another teacher answers me : " yes, girl, we are sure ok?"

i didnt bother answering or asking any more. i just walked out of class and went up three floors to my class, found the word (checked the spelling carefully) and walked down the stairs to the class at the back of the skewl which was the form two class. in a way, i knew i'll win the part about spelling but there's always a doubt when i'm just the student and they, the teachers...in training.

" look here, and check your spelling." rather stiffly i muttered. the class was a lil afraid i'll get all of us into trouble....again! teehee!

the stupid bitch didnt want to, the stupid cow didnt even move but the other two checked and looked at each other and tried talking to the two stupid ones. and they just stopped teaching altogether.WTH!? MERAJUK!? how old are you all!? u gotta b kidding~! immature adults! adults!! adults!!!

the class, along with o-so-dear friends, were pushing me to apologize but HEY! it aint my fault la! i walked up to her and put up a straight face then sed : " look, i was just asking and if u'd just check it, you wouldnt be pissed off right now." i strained so hard not to laugh when i heards the sound of slapping of foreheads. hahah!

she then mutters in malay about kids being rude and uncivilised. WTH AGAIN! i had enough so i kinda blurted the B-word while turning away and left the class for the gate.thank gawd, there are those who left with me. i'm not a racist but they are SOME ( a very minor bit) malays that think they're so intelligent after entering a simple university...turning SO PROUD, looking down on mere students! i knw she looked down on our class because the students couldnt even speak decent english during the two hour class. i was silent at first bcuz i dislike english classes. not proud...just bored.

to this date

2006-08-19T21:19:00.000+08:00

Doing the morning DJ job is NOT easy! Its absolute madness or mental torture (to me la).
I have to arrive at skewl at 6.20 am! Argh! When I normally reach skewl 6.45am. grrrr…. It’s frustrating but I kinda like d job tho… heheh! I get to play music (with a lot of procedures and restrictions) and sing along in the PA room. I get to study in peace, by myself too.

Hmm… not a lot is happening actually. Just the usuals…tests, exams, gerak gempurs and now! Trials!!! Not to forget tuitions, revision and more extra classes in skewl. Madness… I reli dunno if I’ll survive till after SPM. Haihz…

Is it reli that bad? I’ve been there, done that. yet, still the saying : “ once burnt , twice shy.” Doesn’t apply on me. Why is dat? Hmm… maybe so far, it wasn’t true love. The guy I reli want to be with, is the forbidden fruit. Some one I cant be with. Why? One, my sister(s) do not approve of him. two, my mom thinks he’s a lil too eccentric. Three, my dad doesn’t know and doesn’t approve me dating but! Sorry, I’ve been doing tht since std6. whoopedo~

And myself? Yeah, I do want to get it on with him but like my mom I do think he is a bit eccentric. But that only adds to his appeal? O well, one man’s meat is another man’s poison. I find him different yet still alluring. Not in the sense of sexy or hot but safe and fun. Those who met him can agree with that.

I find myself talking to him like a friend but deep down, I’m always wondering : “ tell him or not to tell?” when I do finally have the guts to tell him, something pops up and spoils it all…..

argh…..! the first time I wanted to spill the truth, he was so excited and blurted that he was currently celebrating his graduation and good grades – distinction.

The second time was when he ruined my perfect plan by telling abt his problem with two gurls and a guy…no, he aint gay.

And the last time was when I was alredi in KL fer a week long vacation. I was ready to do it face to face (we were in a vehicle), and before I told him, we had a car accident. OHMYGOSH! The sheer frustration. I am so close to giving up. I’ve never met or heard another girl as unlucky as I am when trying to tell the truth! Hahahahah! I had other boyfriends and gosh….life is so much more easier but! Darn-it! My heart still lies with that fella! *slaps forehead*

now dat trials one is over...i can finally let my hair down.... gosh...so hectic. papers came flowing back and wow , i'm kinda pleased actually. i still cant pass additional math, i reli cant fathom why..

i was walking home one afternoon, when it it started to drizzle, the road was kinda wet so i lifted my baju kurung skirt slightly higher passing by this skewl, a guy came up and walk backwards, facing me and asked :" why are u lifting ur skirt like dat? u ok?"

i looked at him and was like thinking that this has got to be those guys that flirt outrageously to ANY girl. " its raining and the skirt is getting wet, just go away." i replied rather sweetly. he continue walking backwards and asked if i was the gurl who cycles to skewl, and i muttered yeah. " where u live? i walk u dere." i rolled my eyes and looked at him, ......hey! great brownish honey eyes! ... and told him no thanks but he persisted but now is walking normally. we passed the second skewl when i sed, " i stay on the second housing lane. you?" and he sed : " oh. i dont stay in this area." argh! hahahahahahah! he was sweet but too, er.... not my type. i'm like,major fussy. and yes! i love to look at the guy's eyes first! hehehe! major turn on~ anyway, i bought another dress! its so retro~

green faced and gonna vomit~*

2006-07-30T16:14:00.000+08:00

hehehe! i'm sitting fer my TRIALS tomorrow and...i've not studied fer the last two days. whoops~ actually, i did it to unwind la.
the last six days had been extremely stressful...i feel like falling to the ground and sleeeep~ i've been so called 'encouraged' by threee teachers and i fought with two students(verbally) and i had a major misunderstanding with my mom. other than that, i was in a 'dun talk to me, i'm not listening and if you force me to, i'll bite' mood. so i was left in peace to drift in and out of studying and dreaming.
school schedule is reaarranged to make us study AT LEAST five subjects per morning,TWO subjects per afternoon fer extra classes, then there is ONE subject in the night(private tuition), at night? if i'm in the RAJIN mood,i'll read sastera as i stink in it ; not in the RAJIN mood? sleep and wake up at dawn to do sums then sleep again till five forty five am. wad a life~ i meant it sarcastically.
though i'm not AT ALL ready fer trials, i dun feel AT ALL nervous. u noe wad my PA teacher sed? " your school is mad. thats why they drove you mad. so mad until they patah your semangat. now you dun have the spirit to do your exams well." i thought about it and was leftin confusion. my tuition mates heartily agreed. i have weekly, monthly and term exams. yeah...i no longer feel the twinge of excitement or my heart pounding in my ears.

Exams = tomoro? sure... i'm immune. bring it on~ Yawnzzz.*goes back to sleep*

2006-07-28T12:42:00.000+08:00

there goes our 'beloved' headmistress! hip hip hurray!

orite...i'm not that bad! but yeah~ she's poof! gone! waaahahah! it was still a sad event no doubt. here we are, all shivering in fear and anticipation for the new headmistress. will she be another tyrant or a sweet o'lady? this is my future we're talking about!

my dad is getting my a "classic mini land cruiser". Quoted directly from his mouth. hahah! i dun reli care wad car he gets me, just give me a car!

i spent some time thinking , once again, about the past and future. in many ways, i've changed from the past. both mentally and physically. made more friends and less enemies. more patient and mature.

i'm rambling.....

2006-07-27T16:55:00.000+08:00

i feel down now.... yea....like down in the gutters. haaahaa.

my trademark *according to most of my friends* : keeping a constant chatter and a light mood. i just keep crapping/talking with the company and laugh alot. in bad situations, i often try to lighten it as i am uncomfortable with tension sizzling.

i guess it is ALOT harder to do that online... maybe nearly impossible.

i'm growing used to it. i've given up on the four lettered word two years ago. it came back this year anyway, and once again, i crashed and burned. i came so close to telling the guy i've loved for so long three times! and each time, fate puts me down firmly. He tells me 'good news'. and i congratulate him. again and again. then i'm left with the second best choice which i half heartedly pick up. i guess i dun think : " i'd rather have all of him or none at all.". i'm more of a : " if i cant have him, i'll something close to him." at least i'm satisfied a bit fer a while than to go empty fer that period of time.

Now I can see things for what they really are, i guess i'm not that far... i'm at the point of no return.

2006-07-22T20:41:00.000+08:00

wad a way to end this rather pleasant Saturday.... i got to know that i have been chosen for National Service.

sighs.... now, the after spm holiday doesnt look good at all! in fact! there isnt a holiday at all! a break of two weeks! thats it! wad d hell!? i really feel like asking the people in charge to participate as a normal youth in this program for three months, just after one month of SPM, and see if they 'enjoy' it or not!

its not that i wanna look at the glass half empty, i can see it half full too! but my point is : must gurls go for NS!?

heck! we have read articles about gurls being molested and raped! and strange illnesses!? deaths!? ohmygosh! its like being sent to deaths' door!

2006-07-21T05:27:00.000+08:00

the wind was reli cold and strong and the Lincoln ship bobbed up and down the choppy waves. the salty sea breeze was beginning to coat all of the vehicles and humans in a coat of sticky layer of salt. along with my dad and thirty other men, we waited from eight thirty till eleven pm for immigration and port clearance for the ship docking n unloading. i was constantly checking all the drivers and lorries, makin' sure they knew the system and drill. prepping them on the procedures as it is their first time.

at long last! they lowered the New Zealand flags and blared the horn. the cranes on the ship began to move and sailors shouted out orders while we waited yet again. after another hour...it was midnight before all was ready for continous unloading. dad was still snoozing in the car as he was darn tired. the first JPHS lorry loaded and we gave a huge relief-sigh. bring it on~

finally! we started sending out the vets to check the cattles and goats. as the lorries began to load the nervous animals, winds started to pick up and soon the Livestock Express was stressing the rope tied around the bullard. Steve, our NewZealand agent was getting worried and made the unloading even more faster. soon, forty cattle and goats are unloaded into 2 ton lorries each time. we were to check each animal for the tag, species, default and gender to reload into specific lorries, taking photoes. getting clearance once more at the gate and at three ten am,in the midst of a heavy downpour, we were finally and truly free!

" lapar kah? boss lapar la...mari, pergi makan!" dad bellowed.

what a sight. Lorries, animals, and men surrounded the 24hr curry house. all of us drank coffee-o and teh-tarik, ate roti canai by the piles and loads of naan bread along with tandoori chicken. o yeah, we smelt bad of ammonia.... ahahahah! the bill was hilarious! it cost more than two hundred! omigosh!

o and wad a sad way to end this interesting day? check it out.... NATIONAL SERVICE. there goes my badly needed holiday. no TV or HP. say hello to mozzy and noisy ppl. grrr.....

Semakan Pelatih untuk Siri 4/2007

No KP 890328******
Nama FONG JIA-LERK
Negeri WP KL

bleurgh! i'm sleepy~ nites...zZZZ .. will blog all abt my opinion on it later~

2006-07-17T12:34:00.000+08:00

Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator

1) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
2) MEOW occasionally.
3) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
4) SAY -DING at each floor.
5) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
6) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
7) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
8) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
9) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
10) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
11) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
12) CALL out "Group hug! Yay!" then enforce it.

a dash of feminine undastanding + plants

2006-07-17T09:03:00.000+08:00

Sunday was such a looong day, yet long as it was, it was still pleasant. but it was slow la!

anyway, instead of getting my sufficient (according to my standard : full ten hours)sleep , my dad came and attempted to talk me awake. wrong move~

then he tried to pull the comforter away. ok...he aggiteted me a lil. finally he switched the fan off and tried to wake me by tickling and yanking the comforter away. o well.. i have yet to see him fail in this particular expertise.

i gave up~ reluctantly opened up my swollen eyes and stared at him. he was laughing triumphantly while talking me into the idea of accompanying him to the Tamparuli morning market!? o gosh~ " yeayea~ i will.... *falls back to sleep*...hmm..i will la..."

" WAKE UP, SLEEPY PIG! HAIYO!"
" ok ok...i'm up, i'm up."

wearing a brown T-shirt and faded jeans, i was convinced that i looked like a local gurl. i decided not to wear earrings and went fresh faced - okie..i wore lip balm. and i went with only a wallet (not a purse!). W-O-W... this is record breaking! i've nvr thot i cud look decent wit this kinda attire! wahahahaha!

maybe i would have been better off being in my usual bright and stylish attire. heck! the locals were wearing sarongs and other kinda tradisional clothes... and i look like the younger generation tht just discovered wads jeans. and there were three ah-mo-lang ( orang putih) that asked me and dad about local information, they probably thot we were really locals! hahahah! success!

sumthing kinda obsession kinda got my dad - plants. yea... he bought so many of them. in fact the house is overflowing with plants! and in the farm? dun bother asking, just imagine a gazillion~ and for fun, he sold sum of it to other residents and friends...*groans* i got myself a simple plant tho... its obviously green but its flowers come in two colours... the main cluster is white while the one in the middle is like a cherry seed, red in colur tho.

had a conversation with Ben the day before and it was reli embarrassing to tell him that guys are such pigs. but he sed : "arses". made me realise, i made a mistake, tht except for those rare few MALE humans, guys are real arseholes. then on Sunday nite, called again. its comforting to know that i still have a guy best fren to talk to. and most of all, guys with a sarcastic and still very entertaining mouth and brain *nudge nudge* are hard to come by. WHERE ON EARTH DID THEY GO MAN!? EXTINCT?! WASTED! and those rare and special few? they are wad they are and wad other ppl think of the gurl's guys - still manly but with a dash of feminine understandin and a whole lot of heart and personality. thank God...i thot i'll nvr meet them. Count your blessings...i did. i'm thankful alredi...

roll in mud~

2006-07-15T20:28:00.000+08:00

i see red... unsure if its suppose to be hate or anger or disappointment. i cant make up my mind..who cares? i think its all three.

guys are pigs. they are..or most of them are. selfish and puggish. self-centred and down right low. haughty and cowardly. and the famous title they hold is : two faced bastards. in ur face , they say : " i love u, i'll be here alwez, and ur the only one."

lies. lies . LIES. ALL LIES.

maybe i'm just gullible. naive. stupid. watever. its silly to cry over spilt milk, i know. but, another part of me still wonders so many : " why? why did it have to be like this?! " " could it end a another way? " " how can he be like that?" ... the painful list of questions goes forever on. tears stains appear on my electric blue pillow case.

i knew this year is critical. for my future. for my family. and to my own pride and confidence. i knew i wasnt suppose to go into a relationship. knowing that it'll be like this sum how. distracting me from my goal. yet, i still went after wad i wanted deep down inside. HIM. and he made it fall apart... with lies.

like i sed, guys are pigs. most of them actually, but save for those blessed special few. ur my old gud buds?

then yea, ur THE blessed and rare few guys that arent pigs. but piglets. ...sweet and cute. ...prefer tht? no?! go roll in mud, man.

THREE gurls , ONE guy and a doggy topic

2006-07-08T16:12:00.000+08:00

it was HILARIOUS..... i gotta noe Mei Peng recently and had a chat with her along with Ben and Yun together in a chatroom. it's a short version but still quite original.....HAHAHAH! the doggy part is actually a gift Yun thot of buyin Ben and she spreads the idea.

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
awake yet jia?

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
who owes who and who owes wad?!

y u n w a y n e ;;
your cute little pink fluffy soft toy doggy which I promised two years ago

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
"kill benny ben ben day"?

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
i wudnt dream of killin u darlin

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
"diss/insult/tease/torture benny ben ben day"?

y u n w a y n e ;;
i could get a cat if you oh-so-prefer-

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
dog lover=kai

--:: me peNg ::--
hahah

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
not... soft toys

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
meiping can get u one?

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
yun will get u one

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
=.=''

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
and i'll get u one too

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
DONT GIVE ANYONE IDEAS!!!

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
i DID NOT want it THIS WAY

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
which way do u prefer?

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
pink my arse

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
ur arse is pink!?

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
u actually check out ur own butt!?

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
i'm like being... gang banged

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
sick (points at jia) sick (points at yun) buggers

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
if i'm not wrong

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
this is only the beginning

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
knowing Charlotte Fong Jia Lerk...

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
why is it alwez me first?!

y u n w a y n e ;;
i lose right at the moment he opens his mouth

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
imagine 3 of me

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
there'll be three maggots

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
on my kitchen tile

--:: me peNg ::--
total lost

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
dun wory bennie will update u kan?

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
charlotte *warning*

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
i sense something

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
brewing

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
i know u're smiling

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
*innocent n confused* WAD?!

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
wickedly

--:: me peNg ::--
update me??? like he will

y u n w a y n e ;;
lol

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
stop that smile n laugh u have

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
ahyooo ben ben ben

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
hheheheheheh

y u n w a y n e ;;
lol

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
*creeps away*

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
i can predict what's happening all the way at sabah

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
u're still smiling

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
ooooo

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
voodoooo

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
and laughing

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
eeeee

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
damn u!

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
scarie ler

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
u eat ok?

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
yes mom

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
gudnite sweeite

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
nite nite

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
ciao

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
psst......!

Oº°‘¨ dGhoSTinMe ‘°ºO
maggot!

•TJK911• "Schizophrenic"
=.=''

thanks fer watching " three gurls, one guy and a doggy topic" . the end. *applause*

2006-07-06T17:32:00.000+08:00

in the midst of a very hectic year, surprisingly, i found quite a few moments that reli do soothe the frayed ends of my days.

i found the fun of reading books again, to my parent's utmost displeasure. i dun mean text books or reference books, i meant books like...reader's digest, science fiction and chic lit. but that 'fun' didnt last too long... my parents banned me from the state library. PERFECT! how blurdie purrrfect man...
calls from my good and true friends once in a blue moon or on special occasions. it really warms the heart and it makes life alot brighter...even for a little while. but still, i cherished EVERY call and word.
the RAREST would be hanging out with frens! this WHOLE year~ i probably hung out less then TEN times! how sad is that?! i can say that i had only two memorable outing... and both in KL~with Ben and Wai..... fun farnie fantastic. *smiles and roll eyes*
and recently....TIRAMISU! or Lucky! he's a fierce lil teddybear looking miniature dog! heheheh! his the size of my two palms. but sadly, he ain't toilet trained yet....argh!!! i stepped on poo this morning! but he relieves me of stress a little while everyday. sweetie~

today has been a lil nostalgic kinda feeling. class was slow and boring. thought about the gud'o'days. it was great u noe? not much stress or worries, no family or financial problems, no guy problems and definitely no skewl problems!

these days, i dun smile much. there's nothing much to smile about. if i smile, it would be a formal and polite one to the teacher or when forced to with friends and family. haihz... it's like living a lie..but this is not wad i do all the time. i wanna laugh heartily once again. i reli do. but we all dun crap like we do last time. we dun laugh cuz there is hardly time to when buried six feet deep with homework and preparations for monthly tests and exams and the SPM. and even if we're done, exhaustion overtakes. i guess i have to be strong for another four months. just a mere four months seem so far away. football is my happy hour for now. haahaa! i cant believe Brazil lost. the worst lost is Portugal. gosh....how dissappointing....

my sweet.... and yummy(according to Kai n Wai) Tiramisu! i admit : i still dunno wad breed is he... wahahaha!

turning point...or breaking point?

2006-06-30T21:09:00.000+08:00

first teacher mutters at me.... "you're NOT puttin enough effort. ....Charlotte! you can definitely do better than this! you better ask more questions and talk less!"

second teachers acknowledges me..." you should not sit there and talk to your fren , jialerk. sit over there! you have potential to do better.so try harder!"

third teacher comments... " charlotte , thats your name right? nice name."

i'm thinking...." wad a day...please let it end quick!"

for the last few days, my mood has been really bad but in a way still very approachable. just think me as a volcano, bubbling inside but calm looking outwards. i NEARLY lost my cool just now to a pal who i refuse to speak cuz i just dun feel like wasting my energy on her rhetoric questions and lame comments.... sai hei!

Max is a dolt. you can think you're bloody smart and put the blame on the gurl but you forgot, thats me. sorry if i was cold but i'm not sorry that i dumped you first. i told you a million times, i hate lies! HATE HATE HATE lies... you think some lie based on popularity and material things are gonna impress me? again...u got the wrong gurl. i'm glad ur stripped off that title as boyfren. things were so much better when we were just plain platonic pals. orite? its a take or leave offer. no negotiations.

i cant believe it... just four more months till the big day! = SPM! omg omg omg! how i wish i had a button to make me soooo obsessed in studying! MAKE ME STUDY! ARGHHHHH!

i guess this is the turning point of every high skewl student's life = wad to do/study after spm. i thought about mine for a long time and still i'm at the T-junction. thank gudness i'm not at a cross road! with a simple decision to make for later, i began to think about the funding part. i know my parents are going to struggle like a fish outta water to pay so... maybe i might work until the second intake. i might be late by a few months or probably a year when graduating but i really dun feel like adding on the burden. with some pay, at least i can lighten the load off their shoulders. and yea, i'm trying to get the best results i possibly can to ,if lucky, obtain a scholarship.

hmm.... question is = will i do as i stated? i have no idea. really. haahaa!

reluctant yet willing...not!

2006-06-21T15:51:00.000+08:00

well, i got another puppy! and its a Dalmation mix Japanese Spitz! and i named it Mushroom! but the rest of the family calls it... Sparky. o well, its still a puppy. its really cute lah! we bought it for its unique mix of breeds and for its perfect black spot on its back of white fur! she's got a black head, white body and just one black spot on its back. the rest of the body is pinkish.
anyway, on the same day... i reluctantly went out to watch a movie with Kelvin, who recently returned from USA. Not that i don't want to go out with HIM, but i just felt reli akward goin out with HIM and HIS GF. he called me at seven thirty a.m. on a Sunday! i was happily sleeping when i distinctly heard a piano playing a wonderful tune~ MY HANDPHONE! i got up groggily and found my hp cheerfully ringing on top of the make up table. how on earth did it get there!? nvm.... screen blips at me ---> unidentified number. perfect...a stranger...

"H..ello?"
" Hai... you know who is this?"
" O hi Kel, how are you... *emphasise one the very sleepy tone*"
"you still sleeping? wanna go out and watch a movie?"
" hmmm *darn sleepy lah!* okie... see first orite?"
" we go out and watch a movie ok? my girlfren also going."
" i think u shud spend quality time with ur gf la...maybe sum other time la"
" u sleep first la...then tell me whether u can come or not ok?"
" ok...gudnite. *quickly pushes the END button and dashes for the bed*"

after shopping at the morning flea market, where i got my darling Mushroom... " mom. i'm going out to watch a movie with frens" there at the cinema, i met up with the luv birds. i really didnt want to be the spotlight..but wad d heck, i thought : lets get this over with!

The Fast and The Furious : Tokyo Drift . PERFECT! how wonderful. this is probably the best Sunday i had in years*sarcasm* .... (approx 3 hrs later) okok...i like the movie. i admit it. i thot it was a another car racing movie. but it turned out reli gud! i like the twists in characters and the plots. and my favourite car? hehee! the black Nissan 350Z...took my breathe away man....

i luv Han! hahahaha! but why!? WHY !? WHY!? did Han have to die?! omg! i wanted to weep in grief! nvm...dun wanna spoil the movie fer anyone... heehee!

sporty new do to silent wars

2006-06-16T19:03:00.000+08:00

i sat there looking at a black but round object hovering about in the front of my class.... HUH?! *slurps back drool* Mr Kellson , our economic teacher marching left to right while waiting for the whole class to be present after lunchtime. i was half blind without my glasses. i was sleeping my noon-nap and picked up my ruby red glasses to see my teacher sporting a new hairdo.

his classic old man do has been cut into a nearly bald do with a couple of natural spots and bare lines which nearly resembled a football. " oh well, he wants to celebrate the football season, i guess~" i dun reli FEEL the football season spirit! *sobz*

i'm kinda annoyed at the way my mom is facing problems in the office. i really do. my dad had renovated the back portion of the house to accomodate the new office. most of us thought it was a good idea since the back of the house is rather empty and is hardly ever used so this was a great idea. now she grumbles and blabs about the staff and office problems! *shrieks in frustration* geez, i know all about it, mom! this is the time u've said it to me!

my silent battle with Melody is still going on. its...only two weeks? haahaa! i dun regret or feel bad. she brought this unto herself. too bad. i'd rather have her come up to me and confront me! dont go around telling others about ur problem with me! wads worse is you've got your facts wrong. and another mistake is, you're telling people who, only you think, are your frens. they really cant stand your attitude, take the hints! geez! we have probably given u a million hints by now!

okok. chill. i read Dato Tan Chin Nam's book - Never Say I Assume! its a pretty gud read!
chillin' to : FIVE FOR FIGHTING - SUPERMAN

waiting in the dark

2006-06-12T15:02:00.000+08:00

i have to admit:- i'm in a very ..indecisive or torn up kinda mood. my mood reflects of the picture.... all black with an undercurrent of explosive emotions, all these mingled about. bleurgh! i'm mixed about tht too.

Now first of all, I Want to let you know that,I've been known for some major moodswings now and then

Bad relationships and people I thought were friends and people judging me before they get to know a thing

When they decide to step to me, it shows me so clearly you just wanna see, see the other side of me

And you don't know what i'm going through and you might think it's all about you

I tried to keep my cool, thus, thats what i tried to do but it's so hard dealing with people just like you

I try to run away from situations that run into complications that make me lose control

If I give into you then it's what you want me to do; And if lose my cool then I'm only pleasing you
You know just how to push me; My temperature is rising; Blood pressure is building; I'm about to lose control

yet here i am, waiting around for you to see you once more..again..and again, just once more.

grooving with : Christina Aguilera - The Voice Within

crash and burn...

2006-06-09T17:22:00.000+08:00

its been quite hectic these few days. OMG! wad am i talking abt!? its been hectic since the first day of form five! ... alot of homework and projects to be done and passed up next week! and i think i'm not even twenty percent done! and why am i online!? lets see...cuz i need a bloody break!

the skewl principle must have some heady excitement for sadism.EVERY school holiday, she DEMANDS! that we attend skewl for half a day and then goes on about her 'generosity' of letting us have class for only SIX hours than to the usual TEN hours in school. yeah...rite! thanks alot! *rolls eyes*

oh! the third floor ceiling crashed! haahaa! we were sitting around, just chatting when we heard a LOUD crash and somebody's scream. the loud noise consisted of crumbling cement, tiles shattering and thundering of zink. the whole form ran out to see the second stairway ceiling all over the walkway and some amount of debri on the roof down below on the first floor. YAY! the skewl is falling apart! WOOOT! every evil students dream! *chants : the skewl is falling apart! * muahahahaha!

ok. this is a very ..~sensitive~ subject. does knowledge really give one power? is being a top student all that matters in school? answering both of that questions....answer this :does being the top student mean that we, normal students have to be your friend? follow your lead? support you? and most of all, HELP you in your studies? without any help returned?

being the top student has been and still is my goal in school or in the near future, college and university. through pre-school and primary school, i've happily accepted that me and my friends were the top students. often being described as friendly and helpful, we perceived a mental image of top students being a bunch of nice but still goody-two-shoes people. o well, i guess those were the days huh? the innocent and luvly days when everything were in your grasp if u put your mind to it, in studies and sports.

Now, i found that things change not for the better but for the worst when the top student in the high school i'm currently studying are kiasu, hypocritic, arrogant and down right low bitch who think she's on top of the world. notice, i've mentioned 's-t-u-d-e-n-t' with no 's' at the end...which means i'm centering on ONE person. no..i'm not finding a reason to fight. haahaa! i'm in a gurls skewl aka virgin mall so gurl fight is a norm. she being the top student, never having a problem with any student in studies, was living in her own dream world. i came into this damned school in form three and if i may so myslef, i ruined her dream world that year till now. i think she is reaching her breaking point anytime soon. so am i.

my problem with her? like i said. she is her own world, complete with slave-like students and adoring teachers. this is where i came into that 'perfect world' of hers. i conquered english that year. whoopedo! she was in a fit. why so angry, babe? its JUST one subject la. take a chill pill. Now, i'm still wearing the crown for english, EST, economics and believe it or not....same scores for science. hahaa! i was praying so hard that she would not enter the economic stream but she did.

if she was oh-so-smart, why didnt she enter the science stream? i had to sit beside her for the whole form four year. there was constant bickering and ignoring , pure hell or war of souls. she is the the smartest student...i am stating it! i have nothing againtst that fact! BUT!!!

dont go commanding me around like i'm one of your slaves.
dont bother asking me for help when you already know the solution.
dun think about scolding me as if i'm weaker than you are.
in fact, you have got the wrong person to be in trouble with.
you're not a person with original personality! all u do is copy others and paste unto urself! it'll come off anyway! i cant wait to see that day!

not only am i in disageement in the education field, i'm getting sick of her manners and lack of personality or originality. when i was a new student, i was just a normal student with no title and position. she had her way because i had nothing against her yet. lets just say, i had a reputation to maintain as a new student. that was the year when the six of us were gud buds. we talked ,studied and all together but i still held back when it came to her. form four was the year she revealed her true colours. me and Maydeline went out often as we were best gurl friends. she tagged along and soon was asking us a series of questions like, can i see your stuff at home? help me buy clothes? ...the list goes on.

so we did, thinking it as innocent curiosity. the next thing you know, she was asking us to tag along HER! to buy clothes and accessories for HER! and then she turns to me for make up!? and then takes both of us to tell her about fashion and hadphones!? like wad the...?! get a life! she bought accessories and make up that are so similiar to me and May's collections!! *prays for patience*

i hate people like that and often stayed away. i'm not the only one with problems with her. i thank God fervently i'm no longer sitting beside her this year. but she decidedly took her seat with May, who was scared to voice her objection, now sits in total misery. sorry babe, cant save you from that one. haahaa! the class is often agitated by her know-it-all attitude. group work is a pain as she starts off as a follower then if all goes well, she tries to be the leader in the end to take credit. how can a human be so low?!

she asks help for homework? get an idiot to help u.
she boasts her intelligence and adoration by teachers and friends.... FRIENDS?! she has no friends anymore.
it may be cruel...but her so called friend are students like me, withstanding her and just letting her do as she please to stay outta trouble.
honestly, i'm about to give her a piece of my mind reli soon!

furballs and careerpaths...

2006-06-06T18:53:00.000+08:00

got up at six am and the two puppies were yapping like a two guns going off!

"ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow !"

i ran downstairs in only my huge white and blue shirt *blushes* to let them go play in the garden so that the neighbours wont complain. the two puppies(yet to be named) happily rolled and stumbled unto the grass and quickly tackled each other with energetic biting and pulling!

i bought the two furballs while doing my Sunday Flea Market shopping. they were tied to an umbrella stand along with alot more pups. me,my sis and an 'older brother' felt reli sad fer it and asked fer the price. "one for RM130" i cud have fainted! hell, these are just sandy coloured dogs(kampung dogs)! i asked fer the best price for a pair. and after haggling fer about 5 minutes...i got a yummy price! the sweet two pups for just RM 140. heehee! i know its still expensive but its worth it la. some other chinese man bought it after us! so yea...i think its bcuz of the way they were tied together that made us feel the urge of 'saving ' them!

i laughed happily at their amusing antics but stopped automatically when seeing an old man looking at me at the window of the opposite house. i kinda noticed that.... well, like i stated earlier...i was only in my sleeping shirt. i kept my kewl and zipped back into the house..."dirty old man!"

i thot walking to skewl wud be a gud idea cuz a change once in a while is kinda refreshing. it was a cloudy morning, rather breezy. the whole walk thingy made me very...thoughtful? maybe...dreamy. allrite, so i walked for fifteen minutes and later caught up by Hana. she's a petite pretty gal with a real sweet face. haahaa! we talked and within minutes reached the premises of the skewl.

Moral Studies was such a bore! i was nodding off the whole two hours... YaWNz...*drools while dreaming of Chad Micheal Murray*

"FONG! simpankan beg itu! cikgu tau kelas nie boring! hahaha! jgan tidur! kita patut mengamal....nilai...bla bla" she is one of my favourite teacher. really funny and realistic.

i've been told to make my choice really soon about my career path....ambition. i'm still thinking of business but recently after researching more about other possible careers i might be able to excel...its business management then venture into hotel management. or then again i'm thinking of something simple yet still challenging: modern farming (aquaculture and agroculture). wad about architecture and designing? i guess these are just the few i can think that i am willing to learn and do. for a living. in the future.... gosh, thts a scary thought.

2006-06-02T16:06:00.000+08:00

I feel that friends are such a blessing to me. But a best friend, is a rare privilege that not many of us are given with. Its like a prince being crowned the king yet not all princes become kings…so yeah, I feel that I’m blessed and given this rare privilege to have friends and best friends.

Let just say, I’ve evolution-ized. Haahaa! I became very sociable and gained gradual confidence day by day after I left KL. It was hard not to! I came back to my hometown with healthy faith in God, a secure relationship with my best friends all around, and a happy family. I applaud myself now when I look back in my third year in high skewl. I got results I reli thought I cud not have achieved. Everybody was proud and I was happy.

Things kinda crumbled when I entered the fifth and final year of high skewl.

Problems surfaced in the company which we thought were impossible as the senior staffs we have employed for the last three decades and they had shown unquestionable loyalty, have been suspected and is showing signs of fraud. They were given shares of the company as token of gratitude and appreciation of loyalty to my father after the depression of the economy a decade ago. They went on for nearly two years without pay but still worked hard. Its painful to know tht they have recently been found committing offences under the company’s name. After being found out, they began to threaten to take over the company. I know my mom and elder sister is worried and angry, so am I but sumhow,dad isn’t too bothered! He had hinted that he is tired of runnin this business and wants to continue his new one instead.I want to fight for this company because heck! Its also a part of my life! It suppose to be a huge part of his life too! He breathed life into this company and I grew up amongst it! From a speck of dust till it’s a full fledged building! He worked like an obsessed man to make his dream come true! And now that it is true, why not keep it alive? Than to discard it?! Oh gosh….i dunno.

Then I had a minor but disturbing exchange of words with my best friend. Being concerned when I sensed that sumthing was amiss, I questioned him. Being blasted for a reply, I left him alone to give him space. Honestly hurt, I still gave him the benefit of the doubt n waited for an explanation or an apology. I waited for days. Nothing. I asked gently and again, we had a misunderstanding. Most people pointed fingers but I cudnt be bothered. I sent a mail to him and the reply was one word- “sorry”. I thought all would be all right. Hah, what a naïve thought! My hp still doesn’t ring of his sms and my messenger doesn’t bleep of his message. I really cant say tht I’ve lost another best friend cuz I hardly give up on anything I’ve committed myself to, be it human or life goals. I don’t want to lose this special friend. I give so many reasons for this misunderstanding to resolve, tho knowing that things don’t usually come out the way I want it. But at least I’ll try my best. Yet people tell me to let go and its like a bucket of cold water dumped over my head. Dunt YOU fight for wad u reli cherish or want?! I dun want to lose a frien, or a best friend in this case. I dun wanna lose those memories and another part of my life again. I know how it feels and its like reliving the wounds in the past but twice the pain.

Now, becoming a tad distant and cold with a best friend is a distasteful ordeal for me. When I totally lost my first best friend. I lost a part of my vibrant childhood life too. Learning my lesson, I promised myself never to let myself feel that pain again. It was great to have best friends once again. It is a state of constant warmth and security I want and need. These special frenships has an effect on me which is not overpowering nor is it too scant, it satisfies both parties. ;)

For two weeks, I felt blue…or black. Whichever is appropriate. I decided to cheer myself up by signing up for the skewl badminton competition. I smiled when I signed up. I haven’t played in years! But I know I’ve always loved it and had excelled in it before. I thought: “ why not? Its not like I’ll win a hundred dollar cash prize”…it’ll cheer me up!it was set on a Tuesday, and I had fun being both the referee and the player. In the middle of the game, my handphone had rung of an sms. I ignored it, thinking it was a skewl mate asking how’d the game had gone. After the games, I felt exhilarated and cycled home. That euphoria that glowed about kinda dissipated after discovering Clyde had passed away I checked my inbox and it clearly stated he died and I just burst into tears. It was like losing another best friend. I just sat at the porch with tears running down my face, looking at an empty doghouse and garden.

2006-05-25T14:07:00.000+08:00

these few words = "i'm sorry" is what i wanted to hear. with that three words, everything would be all right. is it really that hard to say sorry to a fren? or at least a good friend!? wad about a best friend?!

maybe its an issue with pride. i'm one of those who cant sorry too easily, cant trust too fast and easily jumps and attacks in a nanosecond. hell! i have a pride issue. but! i do know how to maintain it or try to lower it to a minimum as much as i can. i can bow down when i think i must do so and mutter a apology.

with good frens, its so much more easier. i'm not a person who dwells and lingers over petty problems. i'm more of a person who rather talk it over. reason it out. but whenever i do that, it just back fires.

i'm not giving up on that special person, yet i'm not giving in either. a simple apology is all i ask. i havent spoken to him for days. i know he's in the rough. so am i. he blew up that day on me, called me a freak. thanks alot. i've been the one to give in most of the time. now this once, i wanna know if he can do that for me. just ONCE.

2006-05-23T18:01:00.000+08:00

i feel.... sad. damn sad.

i just lost my dog,Clyde. well, at least i know he's in a better place. i couldnt make it back home in time to see him. he died and the office construction worker sent it off to the vet(who will come with a bill).

i just feel so sad. i cried and cried. i just came home on my bike, expecting to see Clyde jumping around his cage like a flea, waiting to come and play. but the door was open. it was empty except for his bowl of water.my sis came out and broke the news. i just looked at her and laughed:" haahaa! you're kidding right?" and walked around the house calling Clyde's name. i began to panic and felt doubt creeping into my mind.

when i finally reach the front door once again. my sister told me again. and i believe her. i just felt that i've lost another part of me. another part of my life. just like losing a very good friend. losing a best fren hurts. losing two at such a short time width,hurts alot more.Think me mad but, i reli do love Clyde. he offered me what most people cant. security and unconditional love. he always makes me happy, sleeping beside me when i read, outside the house. walks on the beach is a funny sight, Clyde would run along the water and sumtimes slide. i even talk to him about my probs. haahaa. think me mad? yeah, i think so too.

i miss Clyde.

longing tranquility

2006-05-17T16:11:00.000+08:00

i think i've dug myself a grave. i've flunked...three subjects. gosh...major dissappointment! i've done worse but thats not the point. i reli expected to do a lil better this first term. orite... i've flunked additional mathematics, bahasa melayu and moral. heehee!

i cant believe i got only 49% for moral! just one more point to the passing grade! argh! pure frustration! as for additional mathematics and BM, nothing much to say actually. it was soooo possible for me to flunk it anyway.

back to my biggest problem to date.... money. hahaha! i've thought long and hard about ways to save money. i'm the heaviest user of air-conditioning so i gotta use it sparingly. heehee! no kidding. i just enter the room and "beep", the air-con is on through the late afternoon till dawn. once, not too long ago, sumone accused me of being a spendthrift. well, that might change cuz! i have not gone on a shopping spree for two months! Y-A-Y! of course i've bought a thing or two those two months but i didnt spend much. hohoho! i've been quite 'rajin' or dilligent in cooking these days too! its definitely healthier and less costly than calling for pizza or McD's and curries. *rolls eyes and laughs* i enjoy cooking alot! but not the washing part afterwards. so there! the rest of the money schemes is to sell every book and paper in my room after SPM!!! *insert evil laugh here* its going to be gone! all gone!

it's been a frustrating and stressful five months. horrid. i've not reli been enjoying myself. heehee! not that i have to enjoy it now but i think i can think back and laugh at our hurried antics everyday to complete multiple assignments and projects. i'm always in a hurry in school. running up and down three flights of stairs to hand up assignments, ask questions, pick up books and alert the teachers of upcoming classes and events. hectic and sickening days...i've to tolerate the same thing for another six months. seems so long for it to be all over. but to reli think it over...it's not too long. i cant wait....

whispers in my head

2006-05-15T16:29:00.000+08:00

i feel like an island. all this while i've felt secure because of my best fren. haahaa! the saying 'no man is an island'...well, this gurl is! its amazing how a few words can hurt so badly. i've never been accused to be someone who takes up too much of other people's time. i guess i cant help but be...me! my parents heavily emphasised on being someone who is honest and strong. basically, a person who can be trusted and always helping others. with just these two values, more are learnt on my own, through the experience and observation in life. some of the things have grown to be a norm in my life, like caring mainly for those who are close to heart.

why do i feel like an island? haahaa! there was an earthquake. and i've somehow drifted away from the mainland. easily imagined as Malaysia and S'pore.

i wasnt into a normal conversation that day. i was bloody depressed that evening due to some family and financial issues. i spoke to two of my gud friends,Wai n Sara,and they tried their best to cheer me up, still they failed miserably.then the msn alert window popped up at the side of the screen, indicating a bestfren of mine was online! i was doubtful on telling but i did anyway. a lil voice told me it's not right adding on the burden on others who have similiar problems, it'll only stress them out. i thot, yeah...o well, lets just exchange greetings only then. we did that. and it was unusually silent. and i felt reli panicky, thinking sumthing was amiss. i asked question:"why so silent?"

the earthquake hit me. the response was obviously not what i was expecting. it was quite a blow. the reply was :"....."

come on! use your imagination...you do have one right!? well yeah. that was that. i left him alone after that. he can use the space, i reckon.

u've had a bad day...Daniel Powter

2006-05-11T13:34:00.000+08:00

exams over! ~hurray!
paper's all returned! S-H-Y-T!

my mood: dissappointed fer addmath, the rest of my subs are satisfactory.
my music: bring me to life-Evanescence

checked the horoscope and it CLEARLY said, i'm going to have a good month. Obviously, it's just crap isnt it!?

2006-05-05T13:22:00.000+08:00

these few days were so monotonous~

the mornings are filled with studies and normal frustrations and stress.

the afternoons are spent a good hour of tv or the com, then another hour for a nap then its back to the books~

the night? still at the books. its either at my tuition teacher's house or my sanctuary.

*relationships is something thats still very amusing to me. the 'feeling' is there fer a month or two, but after that we're on our own. we have to do odd lil things to spice things up. when did the normal stuff like hanging out with him, lose the heady feeling? yeah... we said no strings attached. a lot like just frens with benefits. we felt satisfied for...two months? now, venturing into the third month and it seems like both of us are keeping ourselves on our toes with the ever constant incoming assignments while keeping this relationship afloat.

we used to just sit down, talk and drink for hours...at the beach or just at the mall. we were felt that was great. we still feel that it is. but it ain't enough. then we had our first argument which was rather ...silly. we alredi agreed that we're just frens with benefit therefore no strings attached. i still go out with male frens and he got angry. Geez...

2006-04-14T19:49:00.000+08:00

Drama Title: Deep Trouble
the Stars: Charlotte, class members of 5Ruby, and *Tsunami (name has been changed to avoid further complications)
the Exclusive Sypnosis:

Mdm Tei was leaving our school so we had a mini farewell party to send her off happily. it was just natural for me to make a simple card as it is enjoyable yet de-stressing. and on the big day for Mdm Tei, i let my card also be a part of my close buddies by letting them drop notes and signatures on the brite yellow,red and yellow card. soon, i decided to let all my friends take part...which is all my classmates except! Tsunami. i highly dislike her thanks to her genuine spoilt brat, suka manja, and hypocritic attitude. i found out that she spread rumours and lies to both her friends and me.

ok...so she saw the card going around the class but it some how didnt reach her table. instead it stopped at the table rite in front of her. she took the effort to get off her chair, walk over and ask fer the card! i'm impressed! hahaha! but not anymore, when i found that she actually signed it and wrote exactly five words...and its broken english. i dont usually criticise others on language but, she alredi knows i've nvr liked her. and she dares to touch my stuff!? the feeling was pure rage and i felt the card was tainted. hahahah! Ely told me to control my anger...so i did. i stood up and walked over to Tsunami's desk and asked her why she did it and if she had idea wad are decent manners? then she just stared at her hands and didnt wanna look at me. then i exploded when i saw she had my science report on her table. i just put my hand out and asked her for it. controlling my temper as hard as i can.i felt quite angry, disgusted,irritated and frustrated at the mere sight of her signatures in the card and her presence in class.

Amazingly, the rest of the class thought the same too.....which shocked and touched me. hehehe! i love me classmates! *HUGZ* they made d decision to save my card! awww...they got a sticker the perfect size to cover every inch of Tsunami's signature and note! hahahahah! i know its awful but how wud u feel if ur belonging was scribbled and coloured all over by sumone u reli dislike and hate? obviously , i'm not alone sharing this feelings. THANK YOU MY LOVABLE SWEET CLASSMATES!

so , as Mdm Tei entered the class, we sang her favourite song which was a Westlife Hit. and then we had fun, talking and laughing. gave her the car in the midst of her piles of paper work. she smiled gleefully as she reads it! and Tsunami saw tht her name had been censored, she bursts into tears and went out of the class. we hardly noticed.

after that, she was reported to me that she had gone to the principle and the counsellor. i just rolled my eyes and muttered :"spoilt brat". then the other minion of mine said :" she called her mom and she's also here". this time, all i did was feign sleep on the table with a smile. but inside..."ohman! here i go again! sucked deep into drama-wama. "

but the punch line is! i'm orite! i'm alive! hahahah! i didnt do anything bad to her! so yea! she got all the bad karma back on her! serves her right! hummph!

2006-04-07T18:14:00.000+08:00

i've have done something which makes me feel extremely jittery and partly guilty.

heheheh! i think i've got the cat outta the bag.... ok~ i dun understand that myself. heheh! i mean: i've let a secret slip! ohmigoosh! it might not be too important a secret to let it slip but it came out anyway. so yeah, i fear for the worst.i made it sound like a joke but theres a grain or two of truth in it! oh nooooo! then Max kinda sensed it and started interrogating. good grief! i felt like i was in a hot pan! ho ho ho!

orite..about skewl. my favourite teacher, Pn Tei, is leaving and becoming er...deputy headmistress?in another skewl! oh i dun know wads it called in english! but u get it...rite? gosh...i nearly cried! why cudnt the other horrid teachers leave!? now i have to face a new teacher or another boring teacher. please! gimme back Pn Tei!!! how am i to survive SPM now!? *sobz*

check this out~! click the link below to see if u reli know me! nyeks!
http://kevan.org/johari?name=char-lotte

2006-03-31T19:55:00.000+08:00

birthday bubble~

i enjoyed my birthday alot...that was...three days ago? on the 28th of March to the exact! hahah!

yvonne was the first to whisper : "sheng re kuai le." to me during NILAM time, before class. followed by Melissa, Maydeline,Ely,Lily and Melody. after the silent half an hour of reading, me and my friends climb six flights of stairs to reach our class .... gruesome routine for form five students with heavy bags! heheh! Izzaida, Hasinah, Ida, Sharifah,Vyanetta,Sakina and the others also wished me and gave me some malay handshake (salam) and as usual, the closers one, hugs! i had a particularly happy day in skewl. having my birthday on a Tuesday was definitely not a bad thing at all. in fact, my fav day is Tuesday. firstly, free period for an hour before the first class which is math. i reli dun mind attending math anymore. in fact i've grown to love it. then the next class is economics,english and then bm. not too bad. then the rest of the afternoon is filled with extra curicular activities.

well, it was quite drama-filled that afternoon. i took my chances by joining Girl Guides after being a scout fer three years and a year of Karate. the meeting that afternoon was filled with tension as the president vented her anger upon us ( senior guides...including me). i think my temper is quite infectious. heehee! back then, the same group would have never retaliate, but i think that changed really quick. Me, being me, cant stand being under the thumb of someone whom i do not feel respectful, got pissed. anyway, to cut the story short. the President gave an order to cut the meeting off when there was more than half an hour left! and the seniors were shocked and asked that she reconsider. but oh well, thinking she was the queen, she refused. so the seniors were mostly embarrassed and angry. the juniors looked at me for confirmation of the sudden dismissal. i was on the verge of yelling at the President, so i nodded. letting the juniours go,saving them from being involved in the catfight. later on, some of them considered pushing me to the position of President. i'd actually love to, but i still want to be in the position of holding the society's cash! hehehe!

that nite, dad and mom brought us to a sushi parlour to celebrate! hahah! it was a really big surprise for me! dad, being away most of the time, came back to celebrate! i was pretty touched and infinitely grateful. so we ate and talked from seven thirty till ten thirty. i was pretty glad we got a nearly private table. but still! dad had people coming up to talk to him, sometimes during a good talk or a private joke. it get annoying. oh well, but i saw one of our family fren! the uncle is a clown but a real sweeite pie. hahah! he wished me a happy burfday n gave me an angpow without me knowing it until it fell off my shoulder! hahah! so he exclaimed tht money came down from the sky! hahah! I WISH!

2006-03-17T22:33:00.000+08:00

i've been here for a lil more over than a week. but alas, like the trips before, i couldnt go out much to shop or hang out.

we're finally ready for grandpa's and ma's golden anniversary! the theme is Oriental. hahah! pretty typical for a traditional couple. so i'm going for a purple-ish blue chinese silk blouse, simple black silk pants and oddly, a pair white glittery Mary-Jane shoes! heheheh! i dun think i can match the outfit with a pair of orange high heels rite!?

more than a hundred guests have confirmed their attendence. gosh. tomorrow is going to be a very hectic day. getting all the registration papers, guest log book,souvenirs and the grandchildren *including me have to present all together three songs and a dance. *nervous laughter* i know it sounds so impossible for me to dance a CO-ORDINATED dance! hahahah! i can hardly do that! hahaha!

i just feel odd having to dance co-ordinated along with anyone. i have danced duets,camp fires and in parties but definitely not a co-ordinated hip hop/break dance number!? ok ok...the guys are doing the break dance while three girls are doing hip hop. i feel embarassed doin it. so wad if i am flexible and all. i think its all in the mind. somehow i just don like this kinda dance. hahah! i prefer being the judge and criticise others!

2006-03-14T13:43:00.000+08:00

i opened the door to see three of my distant relatives smiling at me. "o bother..." i said to myself. still, i smiled and let them enter. it's twelve ten in the afternoon and i am alredi late for the date with Ben and Wai Xiuan. "grrrr...!"

i endured the comments and laughter which lasted for nearly an hour. AT LAST! they left. not to sound bad, but i hate being late...but somehow, i am always late anyway. grandpa chuckled and off we went.

i was already grumbling when i reached the doorway of MPH. i took a deep breathe and entered. i plopped down beside Ben who was reading some fantasy book while listening to music. i smiled and thought : " this is one very special dodo." hahahah! as usual, i got the comment of him killing me for making him wait fer an hour. *rolls eyes*

he was hungry and i felt naughty,so i tried to prolong the search of a restaurant. the plan kinda backfired though. yeah, i'm too soft hearted i guess. i was pleased to grab a bite at Burger King actually, i hadnt had it for such a long time. i had my fav Swiss Mushroom. i nearly choked when Ben said he hasnt tried the Swiss Mushroom Burger! its so yummy ler!

both of walked on and on to MPH once again to pick Wai Xiuan. an sms from him told us he was at the old wing of One Utama. ....? there still was a MPH in the old wing!?

ben was cursing gleefully, so he sms'ed back telling Wai to meet us at the cinema,which we were not there. it was his way of sweet revenge. i wanted to buy a UFO toy. i know i know. it sounds so childish. but i was thinking, its gonna be so fun pranking others! hehehehe!

we caught up with Wai in a little while. watched "Pink Panther" and it was hilarious! i had such a wonderful time!two thumbs up for that movie!

i bought three pairs of earrings..and Ben called me an impulsive spendthrift! hummph! after meeting with Yun down at the supermarket, we went off to the home centre in Jusco. we took pictures and had fun just crapping around. Ben had ta go pretty soon after. three of us walked ben out. and Wai and me stood outside in the warmth, talking.

we just sat and talked at the Arena food court. Wai has an unusual effect on people. He wants to become a psychiatrist. which i think suits him immensely. both of us talked about problems we see in our friends. others come to us with multiple relationship or private problems, and me ans Wai discuss about it. both of us found that we had whole different way of approaching the problem. then we started talking about the future. where we were going to study and how others inspire us to go on in life. i had to go home for dinner,so i left Wai in Popular.

grooving to : Goodbye to you-Michelle Branch.

2006-03-10T13:31:00.000+08:00

here i am! in my safe haven, Kay-L!

so i pretty much feel safe only once or twice a year. hahah! well, maybe its becayse my grandparents give me sufficient privacy without being too spoilt with it, same goes with freedom. they do poke and pry a bit but hey!thats how they show they care right!?

i love my grandparents. and i think i appreciate they're lectures(no kidding) and the multiple examples to follow from. both of them are just very very amazing.

i've done studying for the morning. as i feel darn guilty for skipping two days of classes.i had a very comfortable flight back here, but a rather embarrassing one when giving instructions to a guy who apparently lives in klang and really doesnt know the way to Bangsar. it was in the middle of the night! how do u expect me to know the way!? geez! and bsides! i dun take the kesas highway too much! crazy loon! hahah!

i got back, we had fun chatting and laffing, watched american idol and some mel gibson movie. it was reli reli nice. then i snuggled into a very invitning cozy bed. snnoooozzzeee!

this day

2006-03-03T19:41:00.000+08:00

today i feel.....

TIRED.

with the March holidays around the corner, i've decided to catch on my sleep then. and i'll try to have fun at the same time with my family as i am going back for my grandparent's fiftieth anniversary! whoa! i really cant even imagine myself married! and they've been together for half a decade! wahahahah!

i've finally gotten over my obsession over 'the guy'. yeah. its so over. i really needed it to be over anyway. its been too long and tiring. i had nothing to do on Sunday, so i finally brought the subject up from the dusty recesses of my mind. i've not done that before. but i did it. and now my mind is really made up. i've liked this guy for a lil too long to be right. i always thought i had found the one. but he isnt, time to forget him - the pain, misery and humiliation.