evian,spelt backwards is NAIVE!

hey ya'all!
am moving from this blog~
i dun feel like deleting it tho....
quite a sentimental fool arent i ?
yes yes, i'm that.
reli cant bring myself to delete 'em.
this is probably quite like my diary....
but not THAT explicit. hehe!
yet, it reli serves it purposes of giving me space to rant,
freedom to type my mind and
let my frens,far and near, know what i'm up to.
but due to privacy and technology glitches,
will be moving as soon as possible.

notification on new blog will be posted as soon as i can. hehe! might be quite some time actually. patience is virtue ;)

hehe! duncha hate growing up? from carefree to care(full), small to BIG, short to tALL and naive to evian...omg! i bet u didnt noe when spelt backwards, its a mineral water brand! haha! actually, wads the opposite of naive? okay~ so wad i'm saying is : when did life get so complicated? feel like screaming in his face " its my life, let me live it my way!"

the wheels of the car go round and round~

so i've driven a range rover, mercedez, royal saloon, cefiro, unser, land cruiser, hilux and recently, a wira. with such alot of experience with these machines, i'd thought today would be a breeze....so how come driving a kelisa isnt as easy as i thot it would be?

o... maybe its because its a lil small? and tuning isnt too good, or maybe its the old auntie on the passenger seat 'helping' me do all the clutching and braking. many times did i wonder in panic, "GAH! MY FOOT CANT FIND THE CLUTCH/BRAKE PAD!!! WE'RE GONNA CRASH! o.. she's stepping on it..." wad made it so much more harder than it is, was the auntie's hand on my steering wheel. i know i drive a lil too fast and i tend to drive a bit to one side or another, but please la, dun add more burden to me by trying to equal the weight of our hold on the steering wheel!!!

and calling me 'girlgirl' isnt helping the situation. i was so tempted to just step on the accelerator , change the gear to four or five. when attempting to enter gear five, whoa ! she said, "what's ur rush?" *gives her the evil side-look and smiles* nah.. just kidding, i didnt do that. i'm the sweeeeetest pupil she has~ all smiles and 'uh huh~'

so she kept talking about how she got started as a driving tutor and her husband is like the legendary tutor of driving. teaching three generations of one family how to drive a car to another. all the way, *inside i was doing this--> ROLLS EYES* i would give a small laugh and say, "reli? good la."

all the way , on both exam routes, it was pretty orite, nothing too hard. all the uphill and downhill stuff is kewl, absolutely love 'em! hehehe! hate bumps... had to slow down and U-turns are absolutely thirlling! its like *insert slow heart thumping sound-effect here* getting ready to jump out of a bush, to scare in-coming clients in the main office way! hahahahaha! but thats just how i felt and pictured it.

burst bubbles

usually, i would wake up at 7:30am and enter the office by 8:30am to work as an accountant clerk in my dad's company. haha! being the boss's daughter, u'd think i can afford to be late but gah! i'm the accountant's apprentice. so... gawd, dun u hate rules and traditions like this?! then i work till 9.50am. get ready for work in Starbucks at 11am. would probably reach the mall by...11.45 or so. would be training till 5:30 pm. then i would continue working in my dad's company till 6:30 pm. and if i'm unlucky, my mom would be around and i'll work till the latest 7pm. sounds like torture? to me, it isnt really. got used to it.

I just work for peanuts. Like someone said earlier, u give ‘em peanuts, u get monkeys. Haha!

but it got a WHOLE lot better after getting to work in Starbucks. sounds reli weird huh? seriously, its blardy hectic and i'm not a FULL FLEDGED barista. the main thing that keeps me going-on is the genuine enthusiasm of the seniors teaching,yelling, snapping,some close to the point of just tipping the self doubt scale to the maximum.... and us, juniors having fun and some agony learning from mistakes. not much of stress once u get into the flow of things with so many others in a small space. o wells, and the smell of coffee is the absolute biggest PLUS. And the feeling of belonging somewhere and being treated NORMALLY is just like aphrodisiac! the pay is worth it, considering the fun of socializing, the hardships of being the small ‘kuli’ that everyone gets to have fun terrorizing, the experience gained and life lessons learned.

So now that I’ve resigned in starbucks , I feel abit of guilt assuaged. I’ve done my bit of atonement. After disobeying my father, will I gain his trust in me again? After openly admitting he has taken the offence of me not heeding his orders. I resigned as fast as my high heels can carry me. But he doesn’t show a bit of change in his cold treatment. Sometimes I wonder why I ‘blessed’ with so much chaos. Why cant I be a normal teenager with not much financial and family complications?

blunder-rific starbucks experience

java chip, extra bold, earl grey, vanilla mocha, banana chip and many more coffee orders kept ringing in my ears. my mistake of the day: wore three inch high heels.*argh the pain!* but had major fun learning to make the drinks, giving out free frappucino as promotions, interacting with customers and so on~

manager was a guy, so he forgot to mention the dress code, and sed interview when he shud've sed its a trial run as a barista in Starbucks. he apologized fer the mistake of not informing me to wear comfy shoes. i was still dressed in my office attire fer the second interview, after passing my first interview two weeks before. was shocked when work started but bleurgh, didnt complain. did the trial run fer FOUR HOURS non-stop. IN HIGH HEELS! getting drinks done(95%), cleaning up(3%) and sending orders(2%).

truth be told, i dun reli know if this job is going to beneficial to me or not. since i'm keen on making it in the business world, i guess this is the way to gain more knowledge n experience of the working world after being in the oil/transportation,logging, agriculture and property management company fer three years.

oukei~ tis thyme to muve on~!

hopefully being in an internationally established company will help me understand the business world more. will be facing customers everyday than to speak with them on the phone, behind a desk with loads of paperwork. i'm quite familiar with most paperwork related to running a company. now its me working UNDER a big company. like what i answered the manager after the trial run, "my goal? well... i hope i can make it into the management team and then climb to greater posts in this company?"

CHEH~ that bit was a lil fib but a great answer for him, he gave me a five outta five for that answer! hahahaah! next target after completing at least ONE YEAR in Starbucks, hopefully a good restaurant or preferably, a tourism agency.

updatez!

Wheee…. Went out a lot for lunch,dinners and shopping this two weeks! Seriously, my legs are kinda sore from all the walking. I’ve gone thru it(shopping outlets) all~ muahahah! I bought a dress, three pairs of shoes, a bag, some shirts, two jeans, loads of earrings and …. Heheh! Far too much ice cream! It was yummy but I do regret it now… but u only live life once only eh? Heeehee!

I’m now unofficially back-to-normal once again. I mean, I’m finally not waking up at eleven in the morning and sleeping at three o’clock dawn. It was pretty hard la, to say the least on getting the biological clock back to its original state. I’m naturally a noctural person~ hmm… luvly stars~*

Now, I’m starting to be very aware and careful of what I eat,(except fer the ice cream overload~) as college is starting soon. Ditching most of the carbs, and sticking to low GI foods and liquids. Same concern applies to my beauty regime! That’s absolutely crazy~ the ONE more thing to do is to have my hair done~ easypeasylemonsqueezie!

Wahahaha! I think I’m taking college a lil too seriously. Getting my cupboards,books and organizer ready fer the BIG DAY! Mandy cant stop saying that I’m going to somehow turn into one of them : LaLa people! OHMYGOWD,the horror! * no offence * its just that I think they go overboard with the style far too often! Clashing so many colours (be it hair, face, clothes or even nails), wearing superduper loud glasses, applying a ton of make-up(sooo doll-like and unnatural) , accessories a bucketful(mostly faux pearls and ribbons from HEAD to TOE), act cute, and talk like an anime. LIKE I SED, that’s my opinion.and no, i cant possibly be like them. i hate OTT details, i'm more on the simple, minimalistic side >;P but i'm not boring.

Moving along~ o… lots of kitchen lesson learnt! From my sister’s boyfren! Hahaha! he made DIMSUMS and SIEW LOONG PAU! yummy giler....Ohmygawd! Absolutely the biggest and original dimsums! No processed meat or ingredients… no wonder the older generation just cant be satisfied with the ones ordered in restaurants! Gosh! Now I’ll never be satisfied over machine-processed dimsums! Ah!!!

Ladies n Gentlemen, i've passed my theory law test! with a fantabulous score~! so...i found out i reli do need to read d effing ugly textbook huh? but seriously, the stuff was just plain crap wan la! robbing us of extra cash on the books.thts besides the point, WOOI! WHEN CAN I RELI DRIVE ?! theres another six hours of bengkel! and tht six hours is, according to others, a complete waste of time! argh! the five hour class was alredi hell EVEN with an mp3 blaring in my ears and me doodling the textbook! someone! please SAVE ME!

just fer a driving license!

So I failed my theory test. The first thing that popped up was, “OMFG?! How’d hell am I going to face my buddies?! please tell me the effing computer is joking!!!”

they all laughed as usual and looked at my paper, stopped fer a while and laughed again. “how’d hell did u survive ur spm when u cant even pass this!?”

Then they laugh again, “and why did u do it in 19 minutes? Rushing to go work ar or competition o? wakakaka!”

* rolls eyes* “look, I missed the passing mark by ONE point! And I didn’t study the whole effing textbook ok? I just read whatever I thot was important last night in probably three hours. So I think I did pretty good at tht.”

More laughter sounded across the table at Starbucks… I hate that sound already… shyt…I’m sitting fer that exam again tomoro. I’d better pass it this time. Gah!

smash n crash~

i'm pissed. frustrated. angry. sad. annoyed. G-A-H! anyword that would indicate how one would feel when he finds out that the camera's memory card SUDDENLY needs formatting just when he needs to download the pictures A.S.A.P. reformatting would mean that all the data would be erased. DAMNIT! argh~~~!

not over yet. i fought with BOTH my elder sisters today. gawd. can life be anymore dramatic n devastating? it all happened at the same time so yes, i admit i screwed up in the middle. i got home at 8.30pm wit the pent-up three week long anticipation of being able to put up ALL my family photoes n NS pictures up on my online album. then... the card reader sez : reformat now? yes / no

so i instantly went COO-COO~ i was downright desperate! calling every techie daddy knows, and asking all the einsteins of the gadget-ie world. ALL of 'em sed: ur memory card is a goner. that pretty much made me so frustrated at the thought:i've lost ALL my precious pictures?!

frustration can somehow lead to anger, my elder sister Mandy just HAD to come to me for emotional support then! I listened with utmost respect, gave the most reasonable advice and used uber-patience when she keeps asking questions about the lovejerk. AND just tht moment, my eldest sister came online! and remembering that she was the one who ADVICED me to take her camera instead of my own. i did just tht. and HELL, i'm regretting to this very minute on heeding her advice. its human nature to be trying to put the blame on her but still, i'm also blaming myself for not listening to my own heart/instinct. there are so many times where i pride myself in doing it my way on my own instinct and it has always turned out right. i just dun understand why, oh why didnt i just do wad i usually do!? so i started off with my eldest sis with a very civilised conversation stating that i'm not completely satisfied with her camera and she took the offence, turned the tables on me. obviously i would then feel irritated and think : "wth!? i'm telling u nicely and u talk to me like tht? calling wad i say , ranting..nonsence?"

i just decided to forget it and went completely silent on MSN. and Mandy was STILL talking on n on, sumwhere in my blurry head, i was suddenly aware that she was waiting fer my responce so i blurted wad was on my mind without precaution: "u shud control ur emotions and not let emotions control u. put the past behind u and move on. i understand how u feel right now but u shudnt just sit there and think back then bawl all over again. overcome this weakness and move on with life, ok?" it was stated in a reasonable n slightly persuasive way but she took off in a huff,muttering sumthing like: "...wrong person...depressed!" i get the point tho. gah~

happy but not reli~

so i've got offered to study in TARC, in what most people would think is the best course for me : business. maybe i'm having second thoughts. i dont know. all i know is there is a oddly sad feeling in my heart. yet again, maybe its because its now confirmed that i wont be able to study in KL. its like saying goodbye to family and friends back there. and it was surprising i told Ben first. and called Sabah a ....hellhole. i feel darn bad about that... still wondering why i did that...

MAPeC = Majlis Anugerah Pelajar Cemerlang. i got it! i didnt know wad it stood for on the last post. hahahahaha! so i attended the real thing yesterday and it was pretty good, compared to the rehearsel the day before. hahah! i came on time with May n Lily. walking among hundreds of students. i felt a bit out of place, wearing a traditional chinese top with embroidery and silk black pants. whereas my two buds were wearing long flowy skirts with button up tops. gah.... and i was the only dimwit wearing sumthing so super-earrings! hahah! i got tons of compliments tho! *peace!* wore the huge red robes, and found that i look ridiculously big in it. but o wells, so did everyone else~ kekekek!

u noe wad happened!? i was called up and when i'm finally in front of the VIP n my headmistress, i took the award cert n money, i turned to the photographer and gave my big smile. "miss, ur hair." in my head i was thinking "wtf!? its my hair-do la! just take the effin pic and lemme GET OUTTA HERE!" i smooth my VERY PERFECT N IN PLACE hair and u can hear the audience laughing a bit. darn it. then just when i've done tht, not ready and all, SNAP! he took my fugly pic. HEY! I PAID U RM 20 MAN! *bleeeep*

;] went home with a dozen pictures with frens n teachers, changed and got Mandy to send me and my friends to go shopping. had fun on just deciding on where to eat n had fun crapping around like clowns. there was six of us laughing with the waiter who was seriously f-u-n-n-y! W=waiter, C=customers

w= nak makan pe?
c=saya,ayam goreng.
c=ayam putih
c=itik
c=fried chicken
c=sama lah~
c=bak kai fan *steamed chicken rice*

waiter then turns repeats our order the EXACT way we said it. laughing, he turned around to the lady inside the booth and sed : "satu ayam, satu itik, satu makluk putih, satu bak zi, satu terbakar, dan satu fried chicken."

watched 'meet the robinsons'

rate it: 9/10

biadap biatch

skewl awards ceremony rehearsel, better known as MaPec held today. i reli dunno why its called so. i woke up with a start at 9.20am and groggily got ready. i changed my shirt about six times! just to ensure i get the most DECENT outfit. u noe about the rules where, if u attend a meeting with most of them being Islam, u'll have to be covered to ur elbows n knees, and not show the cleavage. i changed and changed until i figured: 'o wad d hell! wad can they possibly do to me? make me wear the curtain!? " i donned my black Ralph Lauren - Pink Pony polo shirt and comfy jeans. love it lar~

got there and noticed... gar! i'm not late but was d last to arrive. why are ppl so very punctual?! nvm.. dun answer tht~ i walked down the big hall, occasionally smiling at the familiar faces of my juniors and greeting my old skewlmates... sat down in the front row between my two old classmates and launched into the super talkative/laughing-fit session with the two beside me, and some of them at the second row. all would have been reli wonderful until i saw sumone that i'm like, 101% anti-her! anyway, i chose to ignore her presence and just go on with my social life. but everyone still keeps teasing and pushing my buttons. saying things like : "eh, ur best fren there in wad college?" "ur not going to talk to ur good fren ar?" ... etcetc~ i usually laugh it off but deep down inside, i'm still trying to get over the hatred. why am i so anti-her? okie... u see? i'm good enuff to not reveal her name. but i'm still gonna rant all i want about how i feel.

she is the ULTIMATE copy-cat. okie... tht sounds childish but seriously, wait till u meet her then u'll understand. SUPER two-faced biatch. she can miss haughty one minute and act-cute in the next. SELFISH. in knowledge - she hardly teaches u even tho she's d top student. but at the end of the year, she just teaches others fer the gain of teacher's affections. u noe how? by walking up to the board just when the teacher leaves the classroom and she yaks till the next teacher comes in. praises abound~ gawd... me n the others would just gag n roll eyes.

QUESTION: why cant people just be comfortable in their own skin?

i dun have the answer. but there she was. the first time i saw her in form three. my first day in a new state n a new school. eager to make frens, i was so happy Ely introduced me to the some gurls. lets call the biatch - Tilarie. alright... moving along. she was all cold and hardly produced a smile . offended but i decided she's just shy. months passed and still no responce. i admit, i felt reli good breaking her reign in the english subject. i felt more joy when my other frens broke it too. she was no longer the ALL STAR student. each year, awards are given to those who are the best in a certain subject. starting off, she got the most of it. slowly, she couldnt hold on to it any longer.

in form four , i was forced to sit with the biatch herself! gawd... i cud've died in misery. forced to became friends until the middle of the year, where i just exploded cuz i reli cant stand it anymore.

1. her FANTASTIC ability to become someone else is driving me up the wall! i was patient enuff to obligingly answer her neverending questions on makeup n fashion n boys. and wads worse is... she was actually asking me fer my opinions, then she goes all out to disgree and insists that she's right! so wad d EFF did u ask me for!?
2. and ohmigawd, the way she talks n the body language at the same time can instantly make my dad throttle her. the chinese phrase is = lin c. her crazy double face attitude can easily make one just drop to their knees and just beg her to "BE ORIGINAL LA , DAMMIT!" one minute, she is being the most helpful angel and the next, "figure it urself."
3. seriously, form four year was a HUGE chaotic year fer me. but i thank her - for teaching me to control my temper to even greater heights and learn to say 'no'. remembering that she tried to be cool n she lied to her mom about being in skewl but tried to go hang out with us. she was in a nervous breakdown at the mere thought of being caught. why lie when u can just be honest to ur mom? or just dun go out lar ok? save us the drama.
4. and i'll never forget her listening to me n May's talks n just poking in. not forgetting that she also ended up stating she was the fashionable one. i'm not irritated by that, merely AMUSED she dared to say tht.back then, she hardly knew the difference between foundation n concealer. had never gone out with friends just to hang out. never gone shopping wit gurlfrens and hardly knew how to talk to a guy. and she was still wearing childish shirts with pink baby bows and holds a hankerchief all the time.

now in form five, she sat beside May on the first day making me even more furious with her. HELLO!? the whole world knows me n May always sit together! wad d eff u doing sitting beside her table? she refuses to budge n since its d first day, i refused to cause a scene. i sat between Lily n Ely. it turned out great anyways. but i pity May cuz she ended up bored to tears listening to Tilarie yak non-stop and like ALL gurls do. we all started gossiping. as in... me n the others started talking about Tilarie. in front of her.she never reli got it or she was reli thick faced.

until nearing the end of the year, we were so tensed to the point we practically threw Tilarie with the class loser- Tsunami. not the real name, d'oh! hahah. they were a fantastic pair. " why didnt we do that earlier?!" both of them got along well with their signature voices- one screechy (Tilarie) n one very low(Tsunami). as one talks nonstop, the other would agree on everything she sed. both of them were attention deprived, thick faced, sweet mouthed, and just plain annoying.

i wudnt say she is rude all the time but sometimes she goes overboard. once, the teacher had to yell at her, she would stand there and wobble on her two feet(basically no-sound-merajuk-ing) GROW UP LA! ; then when she doesnt get what she wants, she ignores everyone WTF!? ; the worst and most recent... not even four days ago! which i think she has outdone herself, she refused to salam with our form five skewlmate who was congratulating her on SPM results. its ok if u gently refuse with a reason but dun go staring at the person like she's got chickenpox on her fingers and walk away without a word! i thought that was too much! i wasnt there or i would have....anyway, so many people told me about it to the point i thot grumbily: "o goody, war~!" .

then to top it off~ this morning Tilarie turned to my fren beside me and said: "oh, i'm in college already. you havent started yet right?" my fren just laughed and sed: " o ya." turned to me and sed : "biadap!"

historical 18th year~

not too far away from mount Kinabalu......in a quiet neighbourhood.....facing a computer at precisely 0:01am, 28th of March 2007, is lil Charlotte.... Ohkay, maybe not little anymore but yeah.... she used to be small and cuddly... okok, lets cut the crap~ i received calls and smses of "happy 18th burfday!" and also loads of it from my buddies online! THANK U SO MUCH, U ALL! muahx! God Bless ya'all! ah... i feel so warm, fuzzy n loved! heheh!

ohkay! my long awaited moment to say this! : I'M EIGHTEEN! YEAH! YAY! OH YES!!! WOOO!!! I'M EIGHTEEN! OLDER THAN U! NANANANANA! LET'S PARTY PEOPLE!!! HEHEHEH! LEGAL AGE! WOOOOT! actually.. .thats not what i reli wanted to say all this while...it was actually dedications. teeheez!

LOVE, and thank u's goin out to.....~

• the hugest, most gigantic lurv n thanks is to the Almighty one above! thus far, He has blessed me and my family with so much! and whatever it was, i'm thankful lar~ for faith,strenght, health, journey mercies, family love and true friends!


• daddy! for being my most trusted and loved family member! sacrificing time, money and effort for all of us, giving the best u can get! <3


• darling sisters! with our constant cat fights, patching up and mischief making ...life wasnt boring at all with ya'll around.


• oiiii! fab duo= Benjamin n Georgine! with all the crap sessions, skewl/life stories swapping and hanging out is just all worth the trouble~ hahah! the fact u guys are always there to talk , retains my sanity. and we best buds need to go out more la! BEN! M-O-V-I-E! we both owe golden seats! GEORGINE! we still havent finish SHOPPING! hahah! i wanna buy tht shirt! hahA!


• close n precious frens! u've changed my life in different ways, one way or another. and that makes u special to me. thank u , even for the smallest things u've done for me. may we always be frens , spend time together and aid one other thru good n bad times. May this frenship be forever fruitful~

truly... this 18th burfday has been a blast even tho i didnt have a party this year. started off with bountiful of wishes by NS frens online. received my first gift of the day by Priscilla. i got a lot of great pictures taken in NS tht evoked many emotions n awaken many sweet memories. went to sleep later. woken up by sweet melody of handphone indicating a bucketfull of sms'es. Calls later started streaming in both landline n hp.

hahaah! did a rather frustrating DIY manicure. rose colour background n white/gold tips. then had a rather entertaining yet intimate dinner with family n relatives at my fav chinses restaurant. nothing fancy~ but nonetheless... a great way to celebrate this historical day huh? hahah! ended with a nice book,some angpows, a night call from dad who is away with business, and a Red Earth set. ah... great~ just great~

o gimme peaceful sleep~!

i slept at around...4am this morning? was still busy finishing my fashion collage. hahah1 i have been meaning to complete since last year but u noe, busy gurl that i am! hahah!still am at the beginning stages but am glad the first part of the process is kinda over - getting all the articles and pictures i want.

assuming i'm free in the morning with NOTHING to do, i assumed i can sleep till afternoon. but at 7am sharp, my mom woke me up with her signature knock on my door and : "ah..charlotte ar...charLOTTE!"

" gar.....!" yeah, me waking up with an undertoned growl for the disturbed beauty sleep. "yea...?" i opened the door and my mom laughed out loud. i was in confusion until she indicated with her head. i looked at my clothings and saw sum kinda stain on my fav yellow singlet and my arms having odd-looking patterns(wrinkles) by the blankets. yea.. i was an odd sight. "we're goin to have a surprise visit to the workshop. so dad asked u to come along. go wash up. u want to come o not?" i was sooo tempted to say NO! but ahyoo... "yalah..in a while"

i wore a very...modest all skin-covered shirt as i know the workshop will be swarming with mechanics n mozzies *shudders* ... my mom handed me a pen n notebook. "write a report." i just gaped at her.. wad am i to write?! i tagged along as the workers were like "mornin' boss! " , "pagi jugak *meaning reli early" , ...etc. the place was in normal havoc. floor littered with crowbars, spanners and engine oil. i was yelling at myself fer wearing my most comfy mary jane shoes. got it as a present from my aunt who got it in from the interiors of china by a poor group of people who knits cloth and make shoes.its reli nice lar... i felt so bad making it a lil durty. "gar.." i growled. i just started scribbling watever my mom was saying to the workers. wrote wad i saw around the workshop. there was a pack of guard dogs which i started to just draw. i was soo sleepy n bored. i was also abit aggitated.

the surprise visit was over in two hours. thank God! the ride back abt half an hour and when we finally reached home, i giggled at the mental pictured that conjured in my head : me being soo thankful reaching home so soon, i kissed the floor. alrighty! walked back to my room to continue sleePING! OO YEShhh! i took off my contacts , changed clothes and just pounced on the bed!

then *insert sweet melody of The Myth here* starts to play on my hp on the other side of the room. "ignore it..go to sleep..." ...... ...."ignore.." .... " GAR!......." i got up and took the biggest steps toward the table and practically ran back to bed with it.i pressed 'read sms' and just ....*chuckles* " o how nice... (of Ben)." THUNK! finally bac to dreamland~~~

*insert Because of u-Kelly Clarkson here * i was THISCLOSE to screaming in utter frustration. i looked at the caller id(Yvonne) and was like..."calm down.. pick it up... civil tone now..ok " "elo?" "Charlotte! today got driving test right?" "ah no... postphone adi.. offline mar the office so...on thursday lor" presses end call n quickly continue sleeping....

was just about to enter sleep when....*insert urgent knocks on the door here* " CHARLOTTE, AUNTIE LUCY AT THE GATE!" my lil sis shouted. i woke up in confusion " waunti lu...wad?" "auntie lucy! ur driving teacher ahhh!" i donned my brite pink T and walked out of the house in my running shorts and slippers(whocares! i dun!). i opened the backdoor(cuz a hostile looking gurl sat in front) of her yello n blac kelisa and sed as patiently as i cud "sorry , didnt inform u earlier. HQ called to say offline so .. no test today. postphone to thursday n friday" this time i practically ran to my room, forgetting to lock the door.*grateful snores*

just mere moments later..... Mandy comes in and says out loud.." when r u going to wake up? its nearly noon..."


bluddy dreadful morning...

hanging by a thread

somehow i've lost it... the spark for blogging. not that nothing is goin on in my life.... its more like... there is not much of it going the way i thought it would be. i think i'll never forget the happiness i felt coming home after NS, then the utter devastation upon uncovering my own SPM results no.. i didnt fail anything~CHILL~hahah! ,and undergoing super education couseling+lecture+dissappointment from dad. gah....

ever since obtaining my SPM slip, days just go by more mechanically than last time. though i'm reli dissappointed, i still thank God that i didnt fail ANY subjects... all credit n above but.. i'm just so bluddy not-ready for such a result....

then there is the forever troubling matter in hand... or rather in mind~.... on relationships. is there truly a problem with an interacial relationship? there are so many couples in Msia as well as around the world who have no problem being with a partner of different religion. i admit, yes! am in a rather early relationship with a guy who is a malay, whom i call Tousa. hahah! just for the fun of it... it nearly sounds like his own name~ teeheez.

those who found out by themselves, told me straight in the face, "how can u date him? he's a malay!" believe me, i was so pissed then. it wasnt like he tried to discourage me from christianity... instead he was the one who encouraged me to overcome my shyness to give praise in public and reminded me to pray+worship even more. i know we've talked it out but still, we cant just ignore how ppl view n treat us right? life isnt as perfect as it seems in story books... yea, there they can just block the world out n live happily ever after.

though we just only started off, after getting to know each other over a very eventful three months in national service, we already are feeling alot of the... descrimnation? what is the real problem people have about a chinese/malay relationship? religion? tradition or just not the trend? hahaha! mind boggling stuff when it comes to odd human behaviour! hahahaha!

here's the totals thus far:-

number of people : 17+4

problem with religion : 8+1 *w-o-w!

problem with tradition : 2 *haha! expected more!

problem with parents : 4 *bon jovi was wrong in "its my life"

no problems at all : 3+3 *the world needs more of these kinda ppl~

as more people tell me about their views, i'll keep updating. thanks ya'all for ur advise and erm...great opinions.

Those Moments~

check it out~

toggle the speed of the slideshow with the '-' and '+' signs. put ur cursor over the slideshow to pause or read captions.

i still havent gotten the pics outta my cam.... suckfest man! so i've gotten the pictures from Priscilla n some of the camp website's. hahah! will try getting the pics asap! left the cable n card reader in KL! gahhhh! but the slide looks good eh? heheh!

lmt edt: NS graduate!

“I dun reli feel like goin home now….” I sobbed unto my friend’s shoulder at the farewell ceremony in the NS training camp. All of us were feeling all super-sad and was hugging, saying our goodbyes and taking pictures.

honestly, now that NS is truly over and done with, i can see that i've actually enjoyed it,not forgetting surviving it. now i can say i've gone thru it all and yea... no regrets. met a couple of great frens amidst three hundred and fifty trainees and shared a whole lot of new experiences. no doubt a time i'll nvr forget. i'm not forgetting the crush i got plus the dedicated team of trainers. though it was a tough n gruelling seventy days, somehow i found a bit of fun to retain my sanity.. and came back..alive!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhHHHH!

and to answer the very famous question i seem to be endlessly shot at- " hv u lost any weight?" ....the answer is "yes lah! seven kilogrammes! r u happy? no.. its not a joke! reli!"

i enjoyed the churchie moments... open discussions by Mr Kumar, his singing (and our giggling) and what he shared with us made us reli think n changed. met loads of my brothers n sisters in Christ there n we kinda got to know each other alot better then.plus the worship n sermon n fellowship in Rhema Community Church was both great n touching. A BIG THANK U, GOD! n those involved! the performance we did on the last Sunday was quite impressive.. we did our own singing and band in a day! hope they loved it as much as we did! woot!

and believe it or not... i joined a dancing team. sure ... hahah! laugh! which was later called ASL (Akademi Sri Ledang) by Ah Loong! I MISS U AH LOONG! as well as the other dear members of ASL! i had major fun learning a bit of every cultural dance ...starting from Zapin Johor, Sarawak, Sabah, Chinese, Indian and... if not mistaken Jawa? hahah! then learnt a whole dance of.. Hindustan dance moves! hahah! i admit it was hilarious that i even thought of joining this team at first but after a while, i totally changed my mindset about it. though i consider myself a pretty decent party dancer and very appreciative of a variety of music, group dancing is kinda new to me. so yeah, another experience worth savouring. thru this, i learnt to reli control my temper n patience, laugh at my own mistakes rather then to attack at it, and the most fun part of all? teach people to un-kayu themselves! hehehe! u dun get it? nvm... its an inside joke then. plus the opportunity to wear Malay traditional costumes, along with the make up n hairdo, my own Chinese Samfu, and indian dress! hahah! totally fun! the amazing buds i made are Priscilla, Firdaus, Iskandar,Andrew,Xue Loon, Mei Fern,Melbert,Azreen and Shahril! they're all amazing people.

the classes we attended was.... Character Building(!?) classes for the first month. it was a tiny wee bit childish but i reluctantly admit that it was blardy effective in making most of us more positive n confident in ourselves as well as others. then we learnt about kenegaraan(patriotism , ithink). it isnt something i thought i would look forward to but after the first class, i was totally hooked. i have always been interested in organisational works like in the company or the bigger picture - a government. then there was a part where we talk about politics which was probably my favourite to see the going-ons in it. in that class, i became frens with Zai (since the first CB class), Qadeer, Zaid, Sam, XueLoon, Via, and Oasis. in many a debate-able topics, i found a fast fren in Zaid who shares a similiar past with me. and a secret which i'm surprised i shared with him about trust and countries... if he had joined his skewl debate team, gosh... they wud be unbeatable! he's reli gifted la! Plus he became one of the candidates of our very own SriLedang parliment. and i thought he should have won... lost by three votes! as his official supporter, yeah... i was frustrated. super duper frustrated at tht.... gah! but i'm sure in real life, he'll do pretty well~

being in Delta Cobra was quite a curse at the beginning, losing repeatedly with the reason of not being united, stressed caused by the jurulatihs... haha! but then things turned around for us.. and emerging exactly the same points with the current champion - Bravo but to break the tally,lost due to some reason of them having more gold victories than us. hmmmph! ... *meow!* dont wanna fight over petty matters now. honestly, i think we Cobra's went thru the worst during camp. we were picked on, punished,looked downed and jeered at the beginning but in the middle of it all, we were on the top battling with Bravo. not forgetting our ally - Charlie! together we jumped on Alpha who was the mighty one at first. heheh... okie.. i sound darn evil. SORRY! but yeah, love u all Delta guys n gals! muax! in this company, i met loads of frens... but only some were meant fer keeping.and something happened thru this three months... it gave me a wake-up-to-reality call on how the real world works. *trust and racism issues seems to be on top of the list.

i cant seem to round-up all the stuff i went thru in NS but.. i admit.. i cried on the first night i was there. i became very dependent on my bible and handphone. when they took away my handphone, i turned to my diary n bible. sounds pathetic to u? well, yea...i was alone and i think thts a valid excuse! hahah! then after a few days, i forced myself unto the battle field and made frens. it kinda worked a lil too easily. i guess everyone else was rushing doing the same thing - making frens. somehow i started off with more malay frens then only did i make frens with the chinese ones.... odd huh? ah well~ another confession to make! yes! i had a crush! only a few people saw thru me and guessed it right... the rest of them are still guessing. heehee! a hint : he's not chinese. yeah, the minute they heard that, they were like, " what!? charlotte! NO!" geez la... i did say it was a crush right!? its not like i fell head-over-heels in love! hahah!

finding best friends or sisterhood between me, Hui Min,Fang, Wai Lan, n Xiao Jing was just a God sent! hahah! since there are sooo many kinds of personalities within this group... emotions fly man! one minute we're laughing, then we're screaming, then we'll be yelling, after tht...munching then back to giggling.... gosh... wad a crazy bunch. LUrvE U'aLL!

oddly... i dun reli miss NS too much. and reli, the whole program would have been a COMPLETE waste if it werent for frens and the M16 programme. hehe! so it was worth while ALL becuz of the frens we made. definitely not becuz we were to learn about discipline and to learn how to serve our country better! bleurgh! OMG! wad a bummer! i left my camera card reader at home in KL! SHYT............ i guess i have to wait till i get it posted over here in Sabah... yea. i'm stuck here. hahahaha!

chanting freedom!

i got used to KL life so fast... well, thats like a second nature right? anyway! i went out to One Utama to meet up with Wai Xiuan n Ben. but sumhow the meet up n hangout plan kinda backfired? more ppl came in and all. not that we didnt like 'em. we didnt have the chance on private talks like we did last time. NO insult to Mei Peng! i invited u along. so chill... was referring to some one else. heehee! i absolutely enjoyed walking n joking around. something different than just doin the norm. not that anyone would let me forget i'm always a bit outta the norm.we lined up fer movies fer nothing! it was blardy long line ok?! ahyoooooo! tht will definitely be last time i do tht! haahaha! my camera battery died! saw some o frens too. haihs...

i bought loads of presents. but i still doubt its enuf fer those i heheh! favour in NS camp! OH! before i forget! my sister do mean the best fer me but heck! not allowing me to take my dad's camera to National Service? i didnt ask my dad to let me take his camera but instead, he was the one who suggested i take it along fer precious memories. good o' dad. but alas, my sisters think otherwise.tho they did suggest i take theirs.... no doubt they mean good but yeah, they did burst my bubble. who cares la~ as long as i get to take some pictures is fine. i reli think they look at me like i'm some spoilt brat with the urge to take expensive stuff. get real la. the only ppl who are so vain n materialistic are they themselves. who goes out more often buying clothes? and designer clothes at tht? and worries abt their body n face n hair like possessed dolls? i need not elaborate anymore cuz its pretty obvious. shud stop now... am becoming bitter. heheh!

i enjoyed the short but special talk with ben. it never ceases to surprise me how we can talk so much over that short period of time. and Ben was right, " who sed two hours is enuff eh?" haha! two hours is truly not enuff fer two of us to talk. we have years of talking n catching up to do! i reli do have to agree with u though i have a totally different opinion. i guess there are two sides to a story la~ but chill, i think ur gonna go far, donkey. heheh!

I DON WANNA GO BACK TO THT CAMP LAR! THAT EFFFFFFIIIINNNGGGG NATIONAL SERVICE CAMP! freedom is so near yet so far! grrr.... i hate the food! the rigid rules! the tiresome activities. there is hardly time fer laughter n slack time. and the ridiculous rules abt keeping the handphones n medications fer us! we're old enuff to take care of 'em ourselves u noe! btw, those who lose their hp are either irresposible or just plain careless. they shud grow up n take care of their own stuff. cuz of their carelessness, we need to deal with the inconvenience of no hp!

i lost the mood fer blogging. i'm more on the typing frenzy. i love typing. hehehe! crazy lar... hahah! anyway, will miss ya'all. pray fer me aites? survive and come out in one piece from National Service... and i'll get whatever i need in it. hm... God Bless ya'all this new year! buhbye~ till the 11th of march! sayonara!

say tht again!!?

CNY celebration this year isnt as happening as it was last year. odd.... i'm seriously wondering why? no... i'm not complaining abt the drop in the number of angpows. maybe i am.. heheh! maybe its the economy? bleurgh.better luck next year.

can u believe it!? my lil sister has got a Motorola SLVR!? and she's only 12!!! am i missing sumthing here!? she just got back to KL when she left her hp on the table and i sed : " dad! is this ur hp?" then my lil sis sed : "no la. thats mine." and i was : " fuhyoooooo! ur more chun-er than ur older sis la!" now i'm alredi planning to get a new hp. usually i'm not that materialistic but now that even my lil sis can be more mod than me... i guess i have to brush up. heheh.

WHERE ARE ALL THE SIMPLE n decent SHOES!? all i see in mid valley, OU, Sunway, Sogo and Petaling Street are LALA shoes! fyi: lala shoes are Hong Kong crazy-frilly-glittery-furry-pointy-impractical-silly-colorful-inspired-shoes. they're ridiculous! i just want simple heels! or just slip-ons! i wonder why do they need to sell furry knee-high boots,bejeweled slippers, frilly or lace-y mariejanes, and studded shoes!? *laughs n shakes head* its so effing hard to find simple fashion! simple shirts, skirts, pants, shoes, handbags, accesories, or hair-do! * fort minor's where did u go song plays*

i saw this gurl in particular, who falls in the OTT(over the top) LALA category, walking around in a complicated hair-do--crinkly hair at the back, long bangs in the front and curly tendrils at the sides! , furry boots with buckles, a top with so much lace that i wonder if it reli is just a top or she was wrapped in yards of lace, jeans with so much sequins,stitches n patch-ons, and the makeup! gosh-ness! go to any make up counter! please! her face is powdered white along such intense colours....i fear she might be in the circus. i havent even reached the part where her jewelry- is enuff for me to open a stall in OU. she wore three huge bangles(right),one huge watch with silver chains( left), loads of rings, layers of pearl necklaces, dangly earrings (which is a wonder it didnt get tangled in her crinkly afro hair) and glittery hair bandS! gah! the nightmare!

i just noticed that i had a pretty good time in National Service tho it was truly hard on me the first two weeks. i had to get used to the tight schedules, bizzare people plus attitudes, canteen food,absolutely no privacy and the sheer madness of wanting us to be united when most of the time, they segregate us to muslims and the non-muslims. yea~keep splitting us that way and i'm sure there wont be much UNITY in or out of camp!

but other than that, i've come to know that frenship isnt one that u can make decisions on. frenship is formed at the oddest chances, hardest moments, funniest mishaps and just-when-u-least-expect. who would have known i would make a fren in a toilet when i forgot to bring my towel. and during orientation exercise, made a fren while going up a steep hill with a heavy backpack. together we rolled our bags downhill afterwards. heheh! screamin after being chucked a fat leech during kayak practice. yeah, the guys are just horrid. sadistic too. frens when u've been forced to the most boring bunch of ppl u assumed, frens made by fate as partners in classes,competitions and dance practice. frens are also made when u need encouragement to jump off the four storey tower to complete the flying-fox exercise n five storey to complete the ab-sailing exercise. plus the great buds made over christian fellowship n church-attendings. ;) maybe i was wrong abt it being complete 100% waste of time. now my opinion of being chucked in National Service is 80% waste of time.hehe!

ur a gud fren if you have read till this point. then u pretty much know how i feel when someone reli appreciates what u've to say or write. MUAX to u!

here n now

i miss him. Ben alredi noes abt him. he's sweet, caring, nvr dated, and sensitive to what gurls like. he's been with me since the first day of National Service. but theres only one thing that stops us from being together - religion. so we're just frens. no, we didnt talk abt it. but it is pretty obvious. we both talk about our passion in religion and theres an understanding. so yeah. we just spend loads of time together talkin and walking together. he got me a bookmark, stars and then he took the innitiative to find flower pins to put it in my hair for my traditional dance performance. i was wearing the complete costume of a malay Zapin gurl. on my head was the gold coloured head piece and four gold hair huge chopsticks. its not chopsticks la...but they looks like it k. hahah! then he added the two flower pins. aww... it looked pretty gud. hehehe! okok~ chillz~ i'll quit gushing.

i'm worried abt him. Ben also noes that. why? cuz its him that i'm worried about. i'm also sorry that i cant be there for him in person. i'm always there fer him to listen and talk or chat. but i guess its just not enuff. somehow i thought that he'll find another best bud that'll help ten times more than i can. no i'm not implying that i want to give up on him to someone else. but i want him to find peace. so thats all i want to do for him. i guess i worry for that reason. luv ya loads man.

National Service may have been full of sufferings but... believe it or not. it's been fun too. going thru a bit of torture with frens are actually worth it. hahahah! lemme tell u wad goes on in camp. 5.30 am wake up. 6.15 mornin exercise 7.30 breakfast 8-class 12-lunch 1.30 physical training 4.30 sports 6.30 dinner 7.50 lectures in hall 11.30/12 lights off.

its tiring i tell u! and we're sleep deprived! we get sick ever-so-often! plus the food is horrid! we get rice, fish (fried or curry) and kangkung (black sauce or curry). sweet syrup water and a fruit. everyday! everymeal! ahhh! no wonder the burger stand makes a ton of money every night. hahahah! obviously we cant stand the cafeteria's food.

i've met great frens from all over the country. every walk of life. unique personalities. passion for God. amazing life it is. and i've learnt to be so much more patient, understanding and on-time. somehow ALOT of people have turned to me as their agony-aunt. i'm not complaining. i reli do think i'm not someone special. i just get people pouring in to tell me about their problems and i natural listen, comment or give advice. so maybe an agony aunt is a good listener eh? hahaha! its also great to noe ppl come to u cuz they trust u. hmm... ;)