here n now

i miss him. Ben alredi noes abt him. he's sweet, caring, nvr dated, and sensitive to what gurls like. he's been with me since the first day of National Service. but theres only one thing that stops us from being together - religion. so we're just frens. no, we didnt talk abt it. but it is pretty obvious. we both talk about our passion in religion and theres an understanding. so yeah. we just spend loads of time together talkin and walking together. he got me a bookmark, stars and then he took the innitiative to find flower pins to put it in my hair for my traditional dance performance. i was wearing the complete costume of a malay Zapin gurl. on my head was the gold coloured head piece and four gold hair huge chopsticks. its not chopsticks la...but they looks like it k. hahah! then he added the two flower pins. aww... it looked pretty gud. hehehe! okok~ chillz~ i'll quit gushing.

i'm worried abt him. Ben also noes that. why? cuz its him that i'm worried about. i'm also sorry that i cant be there for him in person. i'm always there fer him to listen and talk or chat. but i guess its just not enuff. somehow i thought that he'll find another best bud that'll help ten times more than i can. no i'm not implying that i want to give up on him to someone else. but i want him to find peace. so thats all i want to do for him. i guess i worry for that reason. luv ya loads man.

National Service may have been full of sufferings but... believe it or not. it's been fun too. going thru a bit of torture with frens are actually worth it. hahahah! lemme tell u wad goes on in camp. 5.30 am wake up. 6.15 mornin exercise 7.30 breakfast 8-class 12-lunch 1.30 physical training 4.30 sports 6.30 dinner 7.50 lectures in hall 11.30/12 lights off.

its tiring i tell u! and we're sleep deprived! we get sick ever-so-often! plus the food is horrid! we get rice, fish (fried or curry) and kangkung (black sauce or curry). sweet syrup water and a fruit. everyday! everymeal! ahhh! no wonder the burger stand makes a ton of money every night. hahahah! obviously we cant stand the cafeteria's food.

i've met great frens from all over the country. every walk of life. unique personalities. passion for God. amazing life it is. and i've learnt to be so much more patient, understanding and on-time. somehow ALOT of people have turned to me as their agony-aunt. i'm not complaining. i reli do think i'm not someone special. i just get people pouring in to tell me about their problems and i natural listen, comment or give advice. so maybe an agony aunt is a good listener eh? hahaha! its also great to noe ppl come to u cuz they trust u. hmm... ;)