historical 18th year~

not too far away from mount Kinabalu......in a quiet neighbourhood.....facing a computer at precisely 0:01am, 28th of March 2007, is lil Charlotte.... Ohkay, maybe not little anymore but yeah.... she used to be small and cuddly... okok, lets cut the crap~ i received calls and smses of "happy 18th burfday!" and also loads of it from my buddies online! THANK U SO MUCH, U ALL! muahx! God Bless ya'all! ah... i feel so warm, fuzzy n loved! heheh!

ohkay! my long awaited moment to say this! : I'M EIGHTEEN! YEAH! YAY! OH YES!!! WOOO!!! I'M EIGHTEEN! OLDER THAN U! NANANANANA! LET'S PARTY PEOPLE!!! HEHEHEH! LEGAL AGE! WOOOOT! actually.. .thats not what i reli wanted to say all this while...it was actually dedications. teeheez!

LOVE, and thank u's goin out to.....~

• the hugest, most gigantic lurv n thanks is to the Almighty one above! thus far, He has blessed me and my family with so much! and whatever it was, i'm thankful lar~ for faith,strenght, health, journey mercies, family love and true friends!


• daddy! for being my most trusted and loved family member! sacrificing time, money and effort for all of us, giving the best u can get! <3


• darling sisters! with our constant cat fights, patching up and mischief making ...life wasnt boring at all with ya'll around.


• oiiii! fab duo= Benjamin n Georgine! with all the crap sessions, skewl/life stories swapping and hanging out is just all worth the trouble~ hahah! the fact u guys are always there to talk , retains my sanity. and we best buds need to go out more la! BEN! M-O-V-I-E! we both owe golden seats! GEORGINE! we still havent finish SHOPPING! hahah! i wanna buy tht shirt! hahA!


• close n precious frens! u've changed my life in different ways, one way or another. and that makes u special to me. thank u , even for the smallest things u've done for me. may we always be frens , spend time together and aid one other thru good n bad times. May this frenship be forever fruitful~

truly... this 18th burfday has been a blast even tho i didnt have a party this year. started off with bountiful of wishes by NS frens online. received my first gift of the day by Priscilla. i got a lot of great pictures taken in NS tht evoked many emotions n awaken many sweet memories. went to sleep later. woken up by sweet melody of handphone indicating a bucketfull of sms'es. Calls later started streaming in both landline n hp.

hahaah! did a rather frustrating DIY manicure. rose colour background n white/gold tips. then had a rather entertaining yet intimate dinner with family n relatives at my fav chinses restaurant. nothing fancy~ but nonetheless... a great way to celebrate this historical day huh? hahah! ended with a nice book,some angpows, a night call from dad who is away with business, and a Red Earth set. ah... great~ just great~

o gimme peaceful sleep~!

i slept at around...4am this morning? was still busy finishing my fashion collage. hahah1 i have been meaning to complete since last year but u noe, busy gurl that i am! hahah!still am at the beginning stages but am glad the first part of the process is kinda over - getting all the articles and pictures i want.

assuming i'm free in the morning with NOTHING to do, i assumed i can sleep till afternoon. but at 7am sharp, my mom woke me up with her signature knock on my door and : "ah..charlotte ar...charLOTTE!"

" gar.....!" yeah, me waking up with an undertoned growl for the disturbed beauty sleep. "yea...?" i opened the door and my mom laughed out loud. i was in confusion until she indicated with her head. i looked at my clothings and saw sum kinda stain on my fav yellow singlet and my arms having odd-looking patterns(wrinkles) by the blankets. yea.. i was an odd sight. "we're goin to have a surprise visit to the workshop. so dad asked u to come along. go wash up. u want to come o not?" i was sooo tempted to say NO! but ahyoo... "yalah..in a while"

i wore a very...modest all skin-covered shirt as i know the workshop will be swarming with mechanics n mozzies *shudders* ... my mom handed me a pen n notebook. "write a report." i just gaped at her.. wad am i to write?! i tagged along as the workers were like "mornin' boss! " , "pagi jugak *meaning reli early" , ...etc. the place was in normal havoc. floor littered with crowbars, spanners and engine oil. i was yelling at myself fer wearing my most comfy mary jane shoes. got it as a present from my aunt who got it in from the interiors of china by a poor group of people who knits cloth and make shoes.its reli nice lar... i felt so bad making it a lil durty. "gar.." i growled. i just started scribbling watever my mom was saying to the workers. wrote wad i saw around the workshop. there was a pack of guard dogs which i started to just draw. i was soo sleepy n bored. i was also abit aggitated.

the surprise visit was over in two hours. thank God! the ride back abt half an hour and when we finally reached home, i giggled at the mental pictured that conjured in my head : me being soo thankful reaching home so soon, i kissed the floor. alrighty! walked back to my room to continue sleePING! OO YEShhh! i took off my contacts , changed clothes and just pounced on the bed!

then *insert sweet melody of The Myth here* starts to play on my hp on the other side of the room. "ignore it..go to sleep..." ...... ...."ignore.." .... " GAR!......." i got up and took the biggest steps toward the table and practically ran back to bed with it.i pressed 'read sms' and just ....*chuckles* " o how nice... (of Ben)." THUNK! finally bac to dreamland~~~

*insert Because of u-Kelly Clarkson here * i was THISCLOSE to screaming in utter frustration. i looked at the caller id(Yvonne) and was like..."calm down.. pick it up... civil tone now..ok " "elo?" "Charlotte! today got driving test right?" "ah no... postphone adi.. offline mar the office so...on thursday lor" presses end call n quickly continue sleeping....

was just about to enter sleep when....*insert urgent knocks on the door here* " CHARLOTTE, AUNTIE LUCY AT THE GATE!" my lil sis shouted. i woke up in confusion " waunti lu...wad?" "auntie lucy! ur driving teacher ahhh!" i donned my brite pink T and walked out of the house in my running shorts and slippers(whocares! i dun!). i opened the backdoor(cuz a hostile looking gurl sat in front) of her yello n blac kelisa and sed as patiently as i cud "sorry , didnt inform u earlier. HQ called to say offline so .. no test today. postphone to thursday n friday" this time i practically ran to my room, forgetting to lock the door.*grateful snores*

just mere moments later..... Mandy comes in and says out loud.." when r u going to wake up? its nearly noon..."


bluddy dreadful morning...

hanging by a thread

somehow i've lost it... the spark for blogging. not that nothing is goin on in my life.... its more like... there is not much of it going the way i thought it would be. i think i'll never forget the happiness i felt coming home after NS, then the utter devastation upon uncovering my own SPM results no.. i didnt fail anything~CHILL~hahah! ,and undergoing super education couseling+lecture+dissappointment from dad. gah....

ever since obtaining my SPM slip, days just go by more mechanically than last time. though i'm reli dissappointed, i still thank God that i didnt fail ANY subjects... all credit n above but.. i'm just so bluddy not-ready for such a result....

then there is the forever troubling matter in hand... or rather in mind~.... on relationships. is there truly a problem with an interacial relationship? there are so many couples in Msia as well as around the world who have no problem being with a partner of different religion. i admit, yes! am in a rather early relationship with a guy who is a malay, whom i call Tousa. hahah! just for the fun of it... it nearly sounds like his own name~ teeheez.

those who found out by themselves, told me straight in the face, "how can u date him? he's a malay!" believe me, i was so pissed then. it wasnt like he tried to discourage me from christianity... instead he was the one who encouraged me to overcome my shyness to give praise in public and reminded me to pray+worship even more. i know we've talked it out but still, we cant just ignore how ppl view n treat us right? life isnt as perfect as it seems in story books... yea, there they can just block the world out n live happily ever after.

though we just only started off, after getting to know each other over a very eventful three months in national service, we already are feeling alot of the... descrimnation? what is the real problem people have about a chinese/malay relationship? religion? tradition or just not the trend? hahaha! mind boggling stuff when it comes to odd human behaviour! hahahaha!

here's the totals thus far:-

number of people : 17+4

problem with religion : 8+1 *w-o-w!

problem with tradition : 2 *haha! expected more!

problem with parents : 4 *bon jovi was wrong in "its my life"

no problems at all : 3+3 *the world needs more of these kinda ppl~

as more people tell me about their views, i'll keep updating. thanks ya'all for ur advise and erm...great opinions.

Those Moments~

check it out~

toggle the speed of the slideshow with the '-' and '+' signs. put ur cursor over the slideshow to pause or read captions.

i still havent gotten the pics outta my cam.... suckfest man! so i've gotten the pictures from Priscilla n some of the camp website's. hahah! will try getting the pics asap! left the cable n card reader in KL! gahhhh! but the slide looks good eh? heheh!

lmt edt: NS graduate!

“I dun reli feel like goin home now….” I sobbed unto my friend’s shoulder at the farewell ceremony in the NS training camp. All of us were feeling all super-sad and was hugging, saying our goodbyes and taking pictures.

honestly, now that NS is truly over and done with, i can see that i've actually enjoyed it,not forgetting surviving it. now i can say i've gone thru it all and yea... no regrets. met a couple of great frens amidst three hundred and fifty trainees and shared a whole lot of new experiences. no doubt a time i'll nvr forget. i'm not forgetting the crush i got plus the dedicated team of trainers. though it was a tough n gruelling seventy days, somehow i found a bit of fun to retain my sanity.. and came back..alive!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhHHHH!

and to answer the very famous question i seem to be endlessly shot at- " hv u lost any weight?" ....the answer is "yes lah! seven kilogrammes! r u happy? no.. its not a joke! reli!"

i enjoyed the churchie moments... open discussions by Mr Kumar, his singing (and our giggling) and what he shared with us made us reli think n changed. met loads of my brothers n sisters in Christ there n we kinda got to know each other alot better then.plus the worship n sermon n fellowship in Rhema Community Church was both great n touching. A BIG THANK U, GOD! n those involved! the performance we did on the last Sunday was quite impressive.. we did our own singing and band in a day! hope they loved it as much as we did! woot!

and believe it or not... i joined a dancing team. sure ... hahah! laugh! which was later called ASL (Akademi Sri Ledang) by Ah Loong! I MISS U AH LOONG! as well as the other dear members of ASL! i had major fun learning a bit of every cultural dance ...starting from Zapin Johor, Sarawak, Sabah, Chinese, Indian and... if not mistaken Jawa? hahah! then learnt a whole dance of.. Hindustan dance moves! hahah! i admit it was hilarious that i even thought of joining this team at first but after a while, i totally changed my mindset about it. though i consider myself a pretty decent party dancer and very appreciative of a variety of music, group dancing is kinda new to me. so yeah, another experience worth savouring. thru this, i learnt to reli control my temper n patience, laugh at my own mistakes rather then to attack at it, and the most fun part of all? teach people to un-kayu themselves! hehehe! u dun get it? nvm... its an inside joke then. plus the opportunity to wear Malay traditional costumes, along with the make up n hairdo, my own Chinese Samfu, and indian dress! hahah! totally fun! the amazing buds i made are Priscilla, Firdaus, Iskandar,Andrew,Xue Loon, Mei Fern,Melbert,Azreen and Shahril! they're all amazing people.

the classes we attended was.... Character Building(!?) classes for the first month. it was a tiny wee bit childish but i reluctantly admit that it was blardy effective in making most of us more positive n confident in ourselves as well as others. then we learnt about kenegaraan(patriotism , ithink). it isnt something i thought i would look forward to but after the first class, i was totally hooked. i have always been interested in organisational works like in the company or the bigger picture - a government. then there was a part where we talk about politics which was probably my favourite to see the going-ons in it. in that class, i became frens with Zai (since the first CB class), Qadeer, Zaid, Sam, XueLoon, Via, and Oasis. in many a debate-able topics, i found a fast fren in Zaid who shares a similiar past with me. and a secret which i'm surprised i shared with him about trust and countries... if he had joined his skewl debate team, gosh... they wud be unbeatable! he's reli gifted la! Plus he became one of the candidates of our very own SriLedang parliment. and i thought he should have won... lost by three votes! as his official supporter, yeah... i was frustrated. super duper frustrated at tht.... gah! but i'm sure in real life, he'll do pretty well~

being in Delta Cobra was quite a curse at the beginning, losing repeatedly with the reason of not being united, stressed caused by the jurulatihs... haha! but then things turned around for us.. and emerging exactly the same points with the current champion - Bravo but to break the tally,lost due to some reason of them having more gold victories than us. hmmmph! ... *meow!* dont wanna fight over petty matters now. honestly, i think we Cobra's went thru the worst during camp. we were picked on, punished,looked downed and jeered at the beginning but in the middle of it all, we were on the top battling with Bravo. not forgetting our ally - Charlie! together we jumped on Alpha who was the mighty one at first. heheh... okie.. i sound darn evil. SORRY! but yeah, love u all Delta guys n gals! muax! in this company, i met loads of frens... but only some were meant fer keeping.and something happened thru this three months... it gave me a wake-up-to-reality call on how the real world works. *trust and racism issues seems to be on top of the list.

i cant seem to round-up all the stuff i went thru in NS but.. i admit.. i cried on the first night i was there. i became very dependent on my bible and handphone. when they took away my handphone, i turned to my diary n bible. sounds pathetic to u? well, yea...i was alone and i think thts a valid excuse! hahah! then after a few days, i forced myself unto the battle field and made frens. it kinda worked a lil too easily. i guess everyone else was rushing doing the same thing - making frens. somehow i started off with more malay frens then only did i make frens with the chinese ones.... odd huh? ah well~ another confession to make! yes! i had a crush! only a few people saw thru me and guessed it right... the rest of them are still guessing. heehee! a hint : he's not chinese. yeah, the minute they heard that, they were like, " what!? charlotte! NO!" geez la... i did say it was a crush right!? its not like i fell head-over-heels in love! hahah!

finding best friends or sisterhood between me, Hui Min,Fang, Wai Lan, n Xiao Jing was just a God sent! hahah! since there are sooo many kinds of personalities within this group... emotions fly man! one minute we're laughing, then we're screaming, then we'll be yelling, after tht...munching then back to giggling.... gosh... wad a crazy bunch. LUrvE U'aLL!

oddly... i dun reli miss NS too much. and reli, the whole program would have been a COMPLETE waste if it werent for frens and the M16 programme. hehe! so it was worth while ALL becuz of the frens we made. definitely not becuz we were to learn about discipline and to learn how to serve our country better! bleurgh! OMG! wad a bummer! i left my camera card reader at home in KL! SHYT............ i guess i have to wait till i get it posted over here in Sabah... yea. i'm stuck here. hahahaha!