ITS THE LAST DAY OF 2006!

i thought about the start of form five till today. sounds hard? it reli was. as i type, memories free flow in like a serene stream. i'm not like those lucky ppl who are blessed with the ability to have a motion-picture-memory. i remember mine in still pictures. and only the significant ones. i'm always amazed with ppl who remember even the smallest details.

my earliest yet most detailed memory i can muster is all of us(fav gurlies) carrying the new tables to our classes. Maydeline and me have already made an agreement to sit together but alas, a gurl who shall not be named insisted to sit beside May and that was the start of some gurl-fight. sounds childish? maybe i still am. Maydeline, being the one who doesnt want to fight, tried to persuade but the nutcase insisted she already was promised to sit beside May. with a raised eyebrow, i sat between Lily and Ely. and it wasnt too bad. but i still hated that gurl. "wad is her effing prob?!"

then i remember sleeping in class, fishing and being called by teachers! hahah! those were the slumber-ie days. the super hectic ones are those that see all of us writing karangans and copying addmath answers like Canon superscript printers. and teachers giving us the suspicious and humourous looks. i guess they do know all our tricks as they were once students themselves. haha!

and FYI! my class had the highest amount of teachers being changed or transfered. why? i reli dunno.first was our beloved english teacher. we practically look forward to EVERY class she teaches. right after she left, our moral teacher went on her maternity leave fer more than a month! the BM and science teacher then went off for a course. thus leaving us with more than two handful of free time. at first, i remember all of us wooooting in glee, playing and talking nonstop. but after the whole week was over, we kinda noticed that, should we go on like this, we're toast~ so became a LITTLE more disciplined and began to study as well as whisper. just not to disturb the other classes. heheh! so during those whispers with my good gurlfrens, i guess it was reli sweet to noe that i've got these pretty ladies to fall back on. no matter wad.

just a few weeks before SPM, group study seem to have a head on effect on effective understanding on our materials. "why didnt we do this earlier!?" no time fer complains, so we did it as much and as intense as we could. after EVERY SPM paper, we would comment on the paper, hug and have a lil fun before goin home. it repeated till the last day of exams. well, the last day was a lil different. i went up to the invigilator and told them that they were appreciated but there were times were they cudnt stop talking during our papers. so, they apologized and then we gave them a handshake. us gurlies took pictures and talked fer as long as possible.

coming to KL was a great experience thus far. i cant say i totally enjoyed but OVERALL it was enjoyable. wanna noe wad ticked me? if ur a kepochi, try ur luck asking me.

went home and enjoyed a lil of the hols before coming back to KL. i must admit, no where is more comfy and safe than my own home. though it may not be a mansion, its not a hovel. it may not be perfect, but its definitely beautiful. and home is where it is filled with love, trust and ease. that is what i describe home as... KL may not be the place for me. hmmm....

i yearn the more laidback life in Sabah. maybe i'm young in appearance, old at heart. i dun care about the money i earn. all i care is leading the life that is pleasing to God and i know tht would be enuff to please me. why not find that all in Sabah, right? a life pleasing to God can be found anywhere. i can launch my career in Sabah right?

with that said, maybe i know where my future lies. higher education? my choice is Selangor. with the tension in my grandparent's home, i doubt i wanna stay under the their roof. i'll definitely go into the hostel or i'll rent. since i've lived on my ownbefore, i might as well continue doing so. hahah! maybe i'm just not a 'people's person'.

believe it or not, they really think i'm still fifteen. i've travelled alone to more places than they can imagine i could. and they wouldnt be persuaded to let me travel to Johor fer my NS. insisting other family members to drive me down there. u noe wad i feel? embarrassment. uneasy under the stare of the others. as though i'm some clingy child.

eh! i got side tracked eh? hahahah! HAPPY NEW YEAR! CELEBRATE 2007! WOOOOOT!

time money n life. wasted.

argh... attending National Serving may have its benefit but! in my opinion, its such a waste of........

time,
the poor participants have to... wait! not participants! we were chosen and forced to go! therefore we're not participants! we're something of... slaves? prisoners la~ to serve in a stinking cage along with a few hundred other prisoners. we run,jump,crawl,sing,march around under the sun,leaving us no chance but to risk rashes/sunburn/sunstroke/skin cancer/some other horrid skin desease. take ur pick. force poor lil kiddos to sit behind the desk to study history again!? make us socialize with teens from other races n cultures to cultivate a more harmonious Malaysia? to achieve tht in two and a half months? hahaahahahahah! my fart is more effective in uniting teens!!! how? gosh.... i dunno. unite in shoo-ing me out of the vanity area? L-A-M-E. i noe~ but u get wad i'm trying to say? u do? good, ur smart. u dont? well, read again! or go back to elementary skewl k?

money,
we have to pay for the fuel to see the doctors, the government wastes even more just for the attempt of cultivating harmony and feeding thousands of parasites. and the government intends to put a stop on bribery and money laundering and etc etc. this is just another way fer another hundred ppl involved to squander over the ever flowing money passed on by the government. omgosh! dad just called me a parasite! cuz i slept till nine a.m. NINE! and then he sed, " i cant sleep lar." wth!? u cant sleep and i have to accompany u!? garrrr... and the money spent to fly/shuttle the thousands of parasite/prisoners all around the country to their designated camps or cages. grrr.... who cares right? not my $, not ur $... so lets just waste it...together! hehehe hohoho!

life,
they( the gov) are preparing us for an... unknown possibility of war against ...an unknown opponent. so therfore, this is a all for an unknown cause. resulting in the waste of time, money and life! wasting my first three months of 2007 in ... National Service to an unknown cause. still their reason of NS is "to promote unity and boost patriotism!" ask them further and they answer, " to make Malaysia a better place to live in and to show the world that Malaysia is truly a nation of diverse nationality. " forgive me if i barf everytime i hear tht. i'm not given the chance that i thought i might have had to spend with my father! i could have started on a short course or a intense three-month tour around Malaysia. other people complain about the abrupt stop in plans to work( fer extra cash! waaaay more $ than just a mere RM300 the gov are giving us!) until they obtain their SPM/STPM results. we could have gained exposure and experience but they put us in NS to so called 'have fun in the sun' and pretty much let us waste the precious three month of freedom after SPM/STPM. FANTASTIC ISNT IT?

believe it or not. i was baking corn flakes when i absolutely forgot i was in grandpa's house so i took the tray outta the oven and left it to cool on the drink stand. i went off to grab a bowl and some milk then found my grandma with a super 'black-face'. she was not happy. i burnt a perfect rectangular hole in her clear plastic sheet over the drink stand. whoops. like i told my fren, 'i noe. old ppl are very 'yim chim'' so yeah, i can easily replace the clear plastic sheet! and there she was sitting with her black face telling me that i shudnt waste money and bake corn flakes! *sputter in shock* GAH!? shyt happens lar!

oh! just send me to NS now. nOW! NOW!

will i be safe or shattered?

the last four days are just completely filled to the brim with shopping, eating out and present wrapping! gosh! even getting ready christmas is becoming a chore! heheh! the house cleaning, present hunting and the worst of all? becoming quite deplete of cash! i'm never this broke unless it's christmas time! hahahah!

i think i've come to understand the feeling of insecurity most of my peers used to talk to me about. graduating from high school is the point where u've been thrown out of ur comfort zone and (for most of us) are encouraged to make their own decisions from now on. here i am, thinking of which college to further my education to please all sides of the family. and also myself.

i guess most people will tell me to not be bothered with the opinions of others. but my family is important and no, they're not 'the others'. though most of my family members are high flyers, i've come to a decision that i'll be a humble businesswoman. i just want to do both Marketing and Tourism. odd combo? i dunno~ i love both sectors. i grew up with my father in his diversified business company and most of the time, stayed in hotels. so yeah, i think this is what i appreciate most. i've worked in both... and i think its sumthing i wanna do for a living.

like i've said before, in my heart of hearts, i feel like studying psychology. but because my eldest sister is already studying it, i feel that i shudnt. those of u, who have competitive siblings, i guess u'll understand la. i cant really explain, but its as though there is an unwritten rule abt not doing the same stuff they are. garr... i'll leave it at tht.

i went to church today. well, d'oh! fer Christmas celebration la! hahah! then as i made my way up the stairs with my sisters and Sara, i saw him. i guess, the feeling i used to have for him was in some way, surpressed and gone. in 99 ways, i was glad to finally get over him after seven years. but i do still feel just 1 bit of love for him. i wanted to shake his hand but he hugged me, and wished each other Merry Christmas, stood there talking and yes, felt the others waiting fer me so i walked away. reluctantly. had a wonderful sermon la! the speaker was darn farnie! and the message he sent was clear. Worship rocked. and he tried to talk to me again but was pulled away. i think he got the message. but he still tried and i succumbed to the temptation, not giving a damn wad others thought. just a few minutes later,he had to go join the luncheon downstairs. damn. another hug was outta question so we shook hands and left the hall.

darn sad and emo, but had to put up a cheerie face fer the others. spoke to a fren about the love of our lives. how life turns topsy turvy. suddenly twists and turns, ups and downs, plus dead ends. and another fren, asked about how do we noe if he/she is THE one? i just sed wad i noe, i would pray and make sure the other loves me and has the same or more spiritual level than me. perhaps women are reli from Venus. hahah!

i think to myself,

can i stay firm to the ground?

or will i be tossed around?

safe or shattered?

never~ending grace

"u noe wad? i think u come for youth camp with such a hunger of God's words, trying ur best to fill that spiritual hunger with a years supply of it." I looked at my aunt and went..." yea, i guess."

going to camp this year wasnt a mistake. wait! it was NEVER one. in fact i thought, this is probably the best camp i've participated. spiritually and mentally. for me , that is. i admit that i have not attended church fer... fer..... a lot of months? hahah! but my love and passion for His words has not dim. i believe that believing in God, it's not a MUST-ATTEND-CHURCH-OR-BURN-IN-HELL choice. i'm not a person who goes around judging other's faith but there are people who go to church all their lives and still they lose faith in Him.I sing and dance praising the Lord in my room every chance i get in KK and found that, it was enough. in the sense that, i'm not ashamed being a christian, i share about Him and i try to live by His words everyday of my life >:P

it started out pretty bad as Feon-na,my couz and i were late. as usual! always late! blame it in the genes. heheh! Eunice spotted me first, then it was Euodia,Melinda,Luke and so on. happy happy. went off to Golden Sands, PD. enjoyed the scenery while giggling once in a while with Feonna about odd-looking buildings or people(sorry!). got off the bus. carrying my super heavy bag and this unfamiliar fello sed, "hey charlotte." i did my signature look, quirked eyebrow with a side glance at him. i thot fer a while abt this : "1.who is this? 2.have i met u? 3.i dun remember u lar! 4.how do u noe my name?" then i mentally laughed..... i wore a nametag. so i returned the elo n handshake.so i met a new fren James, only to find out he's my team leader. ahyak#1! hahahahah!

then went at the hall and got distributed into our designated teams then had lunch. sat beside this reli cheerful fello named Daniel Loh. we talked and i enjoyed it thru lunch then asked him, "if ur not from pantai or subang church so where r u from? pls dun answer earth or peninsular" And he replied, "Penang." with a huge grin. i was like " wah! so far away!" he just grinned fer another five seconds and sed: " hello! i'm the camp speaker!" i thot he was around he was a youth... but he was older..... ahyak #2!

got to noe the my teams mates alot better thru icebreakers. the team = O2. the members: jolly James, lame Luke, enormous Eunice, sexy Stella, yummy Yolanda, cheerful Charlotte(ahyak#3) , boring Bryan, energetic Eugene, daring Derek, rocky Rick, merry Miriam, iron Ian, and Jeshua.

well, thru many activities i gotta noe my teammates quite well :) in many ways, i think we're quite a close knit. we encouraged and cheered one another till some of us actually got sore throats and lost their voices. we completed the stunts in the shortest time we possibly could till we got third place cuz we started the race last! we prayed fer one another. most of the teammates were a pleasure to know, talk, work and play together. gotta thank God fer giving me this chance to be acquainted with these wonderful people. and there were so many people who came up to me and sed, " hey Charlotte, ur Michelle's sis right?" then it changes into "and ohmigosh! hey! u sound/talk/hit/look like her!". letting them say it around fifty times, i'm not angry but just ruffled around the feathers. had a lot of talking till waaay past midnight with Sara and Eunice on the same bed.

and when Eunice decided to sleep with me, i was worrying my head not to turn around and crush her twig-sized limbs.hahah! and Eunice admitted she cudnt sleep in peace either cuz she thot i will die, sleeping face down on the pillow.(ahyak#4) hahahah!

on the last night of camp, each team must present a skit(a short act) based on a bible story. our team, O2 did a mix of parables - the lost son and the lost sheep. and in the skit, to contribute my bit..... i was a dancer and a.... wait fer it! wait fer it! a pig. (ahyak#5)

both parts were a major embarrassment. but gosh lar... some one had to do it right? sadness man....but my team did very well, overall. hehe! everyone did fab job lar~! then after everything was over, i had fun talking to my gud fren John abt everything! " i miss him so much!" and James stopped beside our picnic table and we looked at him oddly then sed, " my dog lar!" u bet hysterical laughter followed.

heard ghost stories till one a.m. with Kevin, John, Sara, Patrick, James, Kelly n some other kiddos. then played Empire till six a.m. with Isaak, Jeshua, Kenneth, Euodia, Melinda, Moses, Hann, and... cant remember la! but it was super fun lerr... eeyerrrr!

i wanna stay in camp longer! it kinda reminded me of home in Sabah. probably bcuz of the seaside lor. but oui! ... the sea side in KK compared to PD is just so much more better. hahahah! sorry KL-ites! if u think that was fantabulous....u gotta be kidding....KK beaches are seriously nicer lar..... white sands and blue seas...mountain backdrop.... huge birch trees...acorn trees.... fantastic sunsets...the windy weather...fuhyo... nuthin beats tht man....we're talking local beaches! not overseas! so dun come tell me abt super chun-ted beaches over seas ok? hehehe!

conclusion: i had major fun. and yea... growing in God's grace was quite the great theme. the speaker was fab. and this time, i reli got to noe more of life in God's plan and grace. it made me undastand much better that He made me who i am so i shudn't try to change who i am. there are so many things to improve on to be a better christian. i guess i felt that God has always been there for me. and i truly think that was His way of showing he loved me, even before i accepted Christ. after this camp, it made me come to noe that God loved me and always will. God's grace is truly enuff fer me.

super conclusion: i lost my voice. i have a headache. i miss my friends, old and new. i love shopping and i want more. i want to go swimming and... i miss him, my Tiramisu, i noe mommy will forget feeding u....my poor puppy! stupid airlines and customs! he's a tinie winie dawg! he cant harm anyone! but...darn... he bites my jeans to tatters! no joke!

i noe this is just d beginning

i dun know how to describe the feeling.
it's like agony. anger. disappointment. frustration. sadness.
there was his new post notification in my mail.
now i'm looking at the 'click now' button and how tempted i was.
i deleted the post.
i remembered it like yesterday, how hurt i felt when i last read his blog.
the title of the post was similar to wad i was goin thru. love hate.
why did i have to love sumone i just know in my brain and with common sense that he'll not feel any more love than just great frens?
i love him.
he loves me. as one of his "most precious best friends".
but i love God most. He knows whats best for me. i'll pray to Him for light unto my path.

bye Kota Kinabalu, hello Kuala Lumpur~!
ever since i've been back to KL, its been reli hectic! hahah! waking up super early to do some last minute packing then heading off to the airport to KL. my best bud May, came to the airport just to see me off! omg... we were both teary-eyed. sobz...

then i read while waiting fer my flight, had a delay cuz one of the plane passengers were on the wrong flight. HOW PERFECT! he was on a KL plane when he was suppose to be on a JB one.... carelesssssss

the journey.
sat beside a hyper kid. i'm not going to elaborate but alot of u guys know wad i think abt them. lets just say, it was a very stressful and tiring experience. do i look like i'm a mothering person!? the woman just sed : "cakap elo, dik. tu kakak cantek." i was thinking," look, ur compliment is quite the insincere lor... and no! i'm not going to take care of ur kid" but in the end , i did. and gawd.... he ruined my new book!

home sweeeet home
i reached home! after a very tiring six hours! goshness... ate a very yummy dinner made by grandma! she makes the most delicious meals! wholesome too! we talked like a buncha chickens! hahahh!

just the bunch of us from tropicana primary skewl.
on friday,went out at ten to OU for Starbucks coffee with bestgurlfren Georgine. talked so much while waiting for the others. next came Marilynn and we talked even more and laughed harder. Wan Xiong came, looking so much taller than the last time we met! he was like, two head taller than me! he would be an asset fer a basketball team! Eugene came about the same time with Wai xiuan. i think it reached the breaking point of some customers, listening to all of our laughter and stories! hahah! we finally left at twelve for a movie. we were ready for Haunted Apartments but were bored to our toes. three of us gurls, left within the first half an hour to do some shopping. nearly bought some clothes when the guys noticed us missing from the cinema! hahah! then Marilynn called Kit Seng to come along. and soon enough, Don Shou came too! omg! have i told u? obviously not! Don Shou n Wai Xiuan gives d best hugs. hhahahah! the rest,are wad i call fake hugs. hahah!

attention GUYS! learn by example!
these two guys have not change much in appearance but obviously they're taller! more mature looking and... awwww! sweeties! i know Georgine is going to agree with me in this! Don and Wai are such sweeties cuz they're quite the gentlemen. wai even wanted to buy a rare looking locket, and no matter how we tempted and pursuaded him, he was like nope! must buy locket!

hard choices... college and beyond.
today, i went college hunting with Georgine and she gave me some of her super-chocolate-rich-laden-with-love cake! TQ DAHLING! hahahh! we stopped at KFC cuz of a tyre puncture. but after a while, we zoomed off to Nilai International college and honestly, i'm alredi very familiar with it cuz they've been calling and mailing stuff to me every few weeks since SPM started! so seeing it in person made me reli believe that the facilities were awesome! the palce and all~ then after a short counseling session, we went to the country club and was even more impressed. but after that we went to LIm Kok Weng Uni, and was impressed again. MMU was also good la. choices choices. i guess i'm still unsure. i'm being encouraged to study back in Sabah but i reli have found home in KL. so yeah. here i am stuck in a dilemma. like my reli old blog, between worlds. i'm feel torn, having to make choices to please my parents, grandparents, family and satisfy myself. most have advised me that its my life so make the best choice for myself. but its so important to me to please the elders. its been in me since i was little.

choices aplenty.
tell me. Nilai? Lim Kok Wing? TARc? HELP? finally, tell me. why is life so complicated? just one more. i know i'm asking the simplest (or stupid)questions but tell me. how on earth am i to please my elders and satisfy myself in the choices i have?

Its probably the best Sunday I’ve ever had in a very long time. I went to the Sunday flea market famously known as Gaya Street. Yvonne came by my house and we had breakfast at one of the ancient breakfast coffee shops .i had my favourite ‘squash mee’ a.k.a PanMien.

Me and my sister called it ‘squash mee’ while we were kids cuz we cudnt remember the real name and it used to be ver squashie looking. Haahha!

Usually I would come out of the flea market with HUGE plastic bags of plants, fruits and other knick-knacks. But this time, I successfully came out with one normal-sized plastic bags containing three cultural figurines and a wonderfully carved sea turtle! Ohmygosh! U noe wads the most embarrassing thing that happened!? No…I didn’t fall down! I absolutely forgot that I’ve done my hair and did some shopping at the malls, so I had quite a small amount of cash! I looked sheepishly at Yvonne and sed, : “ borrow a fifty?” gosh… I cud’ve sunk into the ground…..hahahah! left the place with Yvon by Taxi, inside was a super-gengchow looking taxidriver! The whole car was decorated with Manchester United merchandise! And he looked like a gangster la! Hahah! He drove like HE was in hurry! Going past the speed limit, overtaking cars and cutting the queue! Phoa! IMPRESSED!

Ate a simple meal of Kenny Rogers! I LOVE their coleslaw and fruit salad! I tagged along Yvonne in search of ‘Bleach’ DVDs. I guess I’ve never gone into DVD stores if not for her. Heheh! I thought her brother and her watched BEACH instead of BLEACH! Heheheh! So I got to see the other side of the world and a lil bit of anime!! Sakai experience eh? Went to the arcade then went and Watched ‘Happy Feet’. It was a mediocre movie la. Otherwise a very…educational…long-winded…obvious movie. No surprises or outta the ordinary. it was a laugh-or-two, smiley, and awww movie. Felt no ‘Oomph’! The furball was a real definitely the fluffiest thing ever and reli makes u feel like reaching out to grab it to hug! Hahah!

Got to Hyatt thinking there was an Education fair but ahyak! It was a seminar! Bummers~ got home thanks to Yvon’s mom. I was just resting when Mandy got home with her bf,Vince. Lovingly called Vincci or mince by me, and I guess mom reli approves of him. the perfect gentleman and he treats both Mandy n mom right so… no complains there. He’s not a hunk or chic-magnet but his personality reli shines. He’s not a chatterbox but he knows what to say at the right time or! The smartie-wartie just sez : dunno . hahahh! Mandy who got home from beach-fun at Karambunei, a world-class beach resort just an hours drive from my home, wanted to go to town in search fer dinner and do some shopping. I was so tired but they dragged me anyway. Ate ‘healthy’ food and enjoyed the strong monsoon wind and rain. Wahahah!

Went shopping at Warisan Square and had fun trying a gazillion outfits, hats, shoes, hangbags and shades! Vince was hilarious when we had to force him to give his opinions on outfits. He actually turns slightly red when he tried to explain his opinions. We were torturing him with the ‘why doesn’t it look nice? U calling me ugly?’. In the Roxy store, Mandy sported her junior in the prefect board, working there and sed, “ooo! The cutie!” I mentally branded her a pedophile! Hahahah! I bought a book from Times then joined the others in Secret Recipe and ate a cheese+choc cake! Wooot! My choc fix! Got a lil high in the car with the silly couple. Got a terrible sunstroke to end the very happy day. Haahha!

When I see that some with the name starting with an ‘E’, I’m going to call him all the horrid names in the world and kick him down a flight of stairs. Don’t u blardy hurt my sister. The best bit? We’re goin to scra…. Nvm…dun say it…yes…gud idea. Shhh! Tell u all later. Peace out~

answer me~

1-who are you?
2-are we just plain frens?
3-when n how did we meet?
4-do u think I have a crush? On u maybe?
5-gv me a nickname n explain why u picked it?
6-describe me in 1 word..
7-what was ur 1st impression?
8-do u still think that way about me now?
9-what reminds u of me?
10-if u could gv me anything..what would it be?
11-how well do u know me??
12-when the last time u saw me?
13-ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14-are u going to put tis on ur blog n see what i say about you?
15- u luff me? Aww…

summary of Oct n Nov

à 13^th Oct, attended a career talk and we were prepared to sleep in the airconditioned surau with the old parrot-like school counsellor screeches .POP comes this reli small and round lady. awww…we smiled and thought O,FUN! turned out reli funny as there was only ONE person who fell into the analytical category! harhar! and MOST OF MY CLASSMATES were in the artistic category (d’oh~), a reli small group of conventional ppl(boo-ring) , seven sosialites ( N-ice), two sexy mechanics (hoots*), and one expertise extrodinaire~( ka^ching )! hahahah! the extrodinaire bit was obviously not part of the word but its pointing at ME! heck, i noe self praise is reli not much of a real praise~cant help it! i cant possibly remember all the details but i am described as a very demanding person, loves to give orders, strong character, money minded, hard outside yet a softie inside and i’m best as a politician, lawyer or hotel manager. i was surprised and the whole class was goin :” ‘tul…’tul… *meanin = true true*”

à15^th Oct, it started off with me waking up at 10.30 am and happily sms’ed Yvonne, kacau-ing her. hahaha! she was already up in the cyber cafe gaming furiously! hahaha! talk about leisure Sundays~ i fell asleep again and sms’ed me “you awake alredi or not!?” hahahah! she reli understands me! *cries in joy* ahahah! i was still lazing around when she sed ” ok, my bro and i coming to pick u up now! ” whoa~! i just jumped out of bed and ran around in panic, washing up, packing a set of clothes and my makeup then running downstairs to grab a bite. alamaks! no food la…. unless u want me to eat tht white chinese kuihmuih for vegetarians. no thanks~ got to Centre Point at 1pm and had McD’s (hell yeah~!!!!) hahah! her brother is so farnie! then we walked over to Asia City fer the college open day. i pratically died at the stair area… four floors up!? as in eight flights up!? The lady who spoke to us was reli helpful and has this reli nice bracelet! i’m so hunting fer one of those! teeheez! HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY aMELIa~! I truly enjoyed Cass as company. its different. more relaxed and comedic. hahah! yet quite memorable to look and see a fren whom we’ve known since we were ten. hahah! we tricked Amelia by calling to tell her we were unable to attend her party at the beach.Amelia had a gud laugh. we all really changed. had a cake-cream fight. ended running around in laughing fits. i got creamed a couple of times while we gave the birthday a creamy facial~

à19^th Oct, Sat in class studying economics with Lily sitting beside me studying arts in theory for the last four periods of school. I had Zalikha’s mp3 hp blaring non-stop until May came with a Japanese fashion magazine and sat down showing me stuff that she liked. Then the conversation turned into ‘wad am I wearing for the farewell luncheon?’ . ahhh! I just got a dress that’s old pink in colour, with loads of black lace lining around and a single black rose at the ‘V’ of the dress that is so retro~!!! I have yet to find the perfect shoes and handbag/clutch though.

à 24^th oct, for hari raya, we went to a Haji’s house to talk business/celebrate. It was a small room with hardly any ventilation! I was sweating like a tap! And so was everyone else but HIM! Ooo ! I prayed fer released at 10 am! instead he let us outta of his house at noon! Never…NEVER had I been more grateful seeing the sunshine and trees! And the car. Then we sped off to the interior of Sabah where my dad’s farm and plantation is. We had to sit in the car for two hours ( if speeding) and all the way, there were just so many amazing things to see. the change of flat roads to rough and bumpy ones, trimmed trees to wilderness, posh cars to working vehicles, sparrows to rare colourful birds and city accommodation to traditional kampung houses with huge gardens and animals. Hahah! I’m still the girl who loved running in the fields and terrorizing chickens while exploring the area….a bit of a loner i guess. i love the peace and solitude. but i do love the city life …. family,frens and shopping!

à10^th nov, Congratulations charlotte, you are 55% not Malaysian. That means you’re as Malaysian as… Guy Sebastian !

à12^th oct, i dun think i need to say this out loud but i am getting tired of prepping for SPM. i’m just so not…not…just no semangat la! tuition classes are over and teachers leaving us be already and sumhow, me,Lily and Haz are given the Y-SO-RAJIN? looks and comments! Omg do u have to ask!? Its spm fer gudness sake!

btw… wanna noe why i’m feel like leaving the compter room so soon!? the freaking neighbour is trying to kill her chickens. the hard way. with a knife. holding the neck of feathers. o.my.gosh. i can hear the pitiful chickens screamin in pain… how it dies down ever so slowly…OMG! ITS HORRIBLE! here i live in the middle of the city, in wad i call the urban bungalow lots and there she is! KILLING CHICKENS! ……in the night……. omg….where did she get the chickens….. she’s a heartless woman! this is abuse to chickens! cant u support the government in electirfying the chickens than YOU just slicing their necks!? yikes… goosebumps….or was it chicken bumps!? must run..she’s not killing just one….cant take it nemore!

à18^th nov, ALL RIGHT! YEAH! ONE SUBJECT DOWN! WOOHOOO! But it was pretty hard…well…no surprise there actually since it was my least favourite subject- principles of accounting. All the best ,SPM students!

à 20^th nov, I’m a hypocrite… but just for today. Why? ‘cuz the BM paper asked me for my opinion on PLKN (national service). Well, I wasn’t reli given a choice for my opinion. Obviously, I said YES, its reli good to boost the spirit of patriotism! U seriously think I agree to tht!?

à 21^st nov, it was fun completing my English exam papers in forty minutes then I took my time drawing my dream house with features and furnitures too. Even the invigilator stopped and looked. I gave her a scowl and she walked away chuckling. we were screaming ‘MERDEKA’ right after history paper.

à 22^nd nov, half an hour to spare… phew~ and with that, I raised my left hand up to call the invigilator. She came and gave me a piece of paper. But I pushed it back at her and whispered : “cikgu,boleh saya pergi tandas?” she smiled and gave me another piece of paper. I pushed it back and whispered a bit louder : “ bukan ini! Saya mahu pergi tandas.” She raised a eyebrow and sed : “ kertas, kan?” I just gave her a look and spoke in my normal decibel-ed voice : “ Tandas la..” and we couldn’t stop laughing. FIVE DOWN! OHMYGOSH! FIVE DOWN! CAN U BELIEVE IT!? DOWN WITH HALF OF MY SUBJECTS! JUST FIVE MORE TO GO! OOO YEAH! HALELLUIA!

à 24^th nov, There goes my science and EST exams~ phew~ one week full of exams is finally over! DREAM LAND! HERE I COME! Now its just down to thelast three~ WOOOOT! Its just left with…

1. Additional Math
2. Pend. Moral
3. Economics

Can u believe it!? I’m just sooo close to freedom! I’m sorryfor all the whining, people! But I’m not the kinda person to sit behind a desk and study..read…write. I do enjoy those stuff but I reli think its gone overboard~

à 26^th nov, I’m abandoning boring books fer one night of carefree talk and the sheer delights of enjoying the sea breeze with frens. I got Sarah a luvly soft green handbag which I was actually evilly thinking of getting fer myself! Hahahah! Got over to the club and met the pretty birthday gurl Sarah, cutie Amelia and *gasps* Jeremy? He’s another one of primary skewlmates. Funny fella he is. Sarah excused herself and left three of us to talk old grandparent stories about the past present and future~ it was quite nice to getta noe two of them all over again.

à 29^th nov, a screech sounded : “Masa sudahpun tamat. Sila pastikan angka giliran dan nombor ic telah diisi. Letakkan kertas jawapan di sebelah kiri meja!” I was already doing the world famous ‘The Scream’ ala muted version.

Then it’s the start of my third worst nightmare >

Khidmat Negara!

I know how to swim, cycle, self-defend, study, co-operate, kayak, dive, jet-ski, lead a pack of two legged creatures, sing, march, secretarial works, do charity work and I cook up a storm! Pleaseeeee , o pleaseee! Dun make me! DUN MAKE ME share a room with twenty other humans! My room is my sanctuary! I dun mind sharing with two or three but nineteen of them!? Think about the catfights! And the stealing! And the….the…d… OXYGEN ! I NEED fresh air! Lots of it! Keep ur distance! “This is my personal space; oxygen; moisture; sunlight; omg.. just keep away!”

FINALLY! FINALLY!

Finally, my blog is orite again!

its been outta service fer quite some time. i'm not exactly the computer whiz or am i blessed with 25hours a day, so i finally got it right and yeah, all the while i cudnt blog here, i blogged in Wordpress. I cant say that its the best place to blog unless you seriously mean business. they dun allow tagboards and the sparkly things~ so i cudnt beautify my online 'home'.

anyway, the posts i posted in Wordpress was quite personal. must be sumthing to do with the not being able to beautify the blog. i got to reli jot down what happened and say what i want to say... or rather type wat i wanna type! so head on over to www.corruptedcharlotte.wordpress.com to read one very important part of my life - SPM and a bit about my 'pissed off' and 'ramblings' categories.

but here i am once again. the song Micheal Buble - Home is playing in my head. i'm quite content...really. hahah! i've got to say, this blog agrees with me. hahahh!

things on Sunday looked pretty gud. in fact, it was really darn good. it started off with me waking up at 10.30 am and happily sms'ed Yvonne, kacau-ing her about the Nilai College Open Day. hahaha! she was already in the cyber cafe gaming furiously! hahaha! talk about leisure Sundays~

i fell asleep again and sms'ed me "you awake alredi or not!?" hahahah! she reli understands me! *cries in joy* ahahah! i was still lazing around when she sed " ok, my bro and i coming to pick u up now! " whoa~! i just jumped out of bed and ran around in panic, washing up, packing a set of clothes and my makeup then running downstairs to grab a bite. alamaks! no food la.... unless u want me to eat tht white chinese kuihmuih for vegetarians. no thanks~ i'm grabbing outside food. gimme gimee~ i got into Yvonne's car and off we went.

got a parking lot at Centre Point at 1pm and had McD's (hell yeah~!!!!) chatted alot with both of them. hahah! her brother is so farnie! then walked around in search for normal stuff~ had her glasses fixed and i spotted some clothes! ekekek! then we walked over to Asia City fer the college open day. i pratically died at the stair area... four floors up!? as in eight flights up!? o gosh...got up there and saw approx 20 ppl sitting in wait fer proffessional advice. o wells, sat there and had fun talking and checking the brochures. The lady who spoke to us was reli helpful and has this reli nice bracelet! i'm so hunting fer one of those! teeheez!

at three thirty, we got back to CentrePoint and i decided to check out the arcade with the siblings. honestly, i was like the 'sakai' there! hahahah! there were ppl driving initial D motion car games and i was like betting on some of the drivers. hahah! pathetic me.

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY aMELIa~!

Cassandra *childhood bestfren* called me then when i was in the arcade. i figured she must b wondering why on earth am i at such a place. heheh! its fun fer a change. so i met up with her and went off in search fer a birthday present fer Amelia *childhood fren*. we were both totally clueless on wad to buy her. Cass thought about something functional whereas i thought of sumthing glittery. hehehe! in the end, we found some really great looking presents from FootPrints. i was actually self-debating : " buy or not to buy fer meself!" okie okie , so we bought sumthing we thought was useful and gurlie~ kekek! i got a teddy bear which kinda hangs on the hp? i have yet to find one fer myself. i'm fussy, get used to it! ate at Kenny Rogers with Cass where we just talked alot. she likes macroni and cheese whereas i ate the fruit salad and a vanilla muffin, Y-U-M. kekeke! i truly enjoyed her company. its different. more relaxed and comedic. hahah! yet quite memorable to look and see a fren whom we've known since we were ten. hahah! we tricked Amelia by calling to tell her we were unable to attend her party at the beach.Amelia had a gud laugh. we all really changed. :)

played games and took a shower. there i lost my contact lens. gah! then i went over to the dining area of the club and saw Sarah and Moses, yet another two frens from long ago. not too close with sarah tho~ hahaha! Moses is quite good with conversation tho, it isnt always conversation. just piles of crap and laughs. hahaha! but still a gud fren nonetheless. had a cake-cream fight. ended running around in laughing fits. i got creamed a couple of times while we gave the birthday a creamy facial~ YamSeng a few times. played a few shots of pool fer the first time *yes sakai experience again!* haha! oh! i had my bag in the locker in the toilet room and i forgot the toilet is locked up at nine. so it was alredi ten thirty pm, so two security guard helped me by climbing up the wall into the top of the ladies bathing stall window and had my bag brought over. i was praising them and thanking them profusely. gave them each ten bucks fer 'rokok' la~ hahahah! i laughed me head off.

truly enjoyed this wonderful Sunday. Chilling to Bandaleros. hoping to study real hard as soon as possible! teeheez!

so my class had to attend a career talk and we were prepared to sleep in the airconditioned surau with the old parrot-like school counsellor screeches .POP comes this reli small and round lady. awww...we smiled and thought O,FUN!

it started out reli bad as she didnt wanna use a mic. fussy woman. anyway, made us sit fer a half an hour Holland test to pinpoint our personalities and to see what careers fit us best.

it turned out reli funny as there was only ONE person who fell into the analytical category! harhar! and MOST OF MY CLASSMATES were in the artistic category (d'oh~), a reli small group of convensional ppl(boo-ring) , seven sosialites ( N-ice), two sexy mechanics (hoots*), and one expertise extrodinaire~( ka^ching )! hahahah! the extrodinaire bit was obviously not part of the word but its pointing at ME! heck, i noe self praise is reli not much of a real praise~cant help it!

so when we were separated into our own designated groups i was alone with Beatrice(analytical) and two sexy mechanics Maydeline(best gurlfren) and Norjaya. such a small lil group yet we were the loudest and noisiest bunch! hahahah! the lady who wanted to be called Kak then proceed to explain all about the Holland test and our personalities.

i cant possibly remember all the details but i am described as a very demanding person, loves to give orders, strong character, money minded, hard outside yet a softie inside and i'm best as a politician, lawyer or hotel manager. i was surprised. accurate. bullzeye!the whole class was goin :" 'tul...'tul...*meanin = true true*" the lady then asked a whole lotta questions like : " are u into business? have u worked? where and how do u like it? "

i felt very small... sitting in front of everyone letting them know my dreams. i feel tht it should be left fer me to dream or fer me to tell only my close buds. exposing my dreams made it seem so plain... its magical effects gone. but now it seems so much more realistic and in reach. can i truly achieve this ambition?

she made us draw a symbol and three words tht represent ourselves. hehe! i wanted to draw a pig then i thot of a devil but both dun seem right either. so i drew an angel with each hand holding a bag of money and a chest of love. and on its halo, honesty.hmm.. the last student,Sakinah explained her symbols and then bawled out the part where her symbol was a hand praying. she prays for a happy family. we all felt so sad, knowing that she lost her mom and her dad married again and she was truly like Cinderella, only worst. never welcomed in her home and her left leg a little shorter than her right, labeled a disabled.

so the career session evolved n students spoke softly about problems and i admit, me n May had bigger family problems yet we rather comfort others than talk.Kak made us understand tht this is the final and last time where we frens are going to be together. theres just no way we're ever goin to be all together like this after form five.we all quickly hugged and kissed cheeks. gosh, all of us ended up crying. i'm really close with all my classmates except for Mel and Nette(names hv been changed). two of them are like... not in my good books la.so i didnt touch them and later, i got an sms from Mel wondering why are we now enemies. i mentally retorted, who sed i'm ur enemy?! i'm just not ur fren! gosh , if u were my enemy, you wudnt even be still WONDERING! just like Nette.tht one is definitely not wondering. she got enuff hell from me. i just couldnt be bothered wit Mel n her attitude.it irritates me. so y make myself feel irritated right? so i just shut off all contact.

now i'm just worried. worried about a very good fren of mine. in fact, the best fren i've got. i hope all goes well as soon as possible. take care n lotsa luv. :)

If you comment on this post:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must re-post this on your blog.

October 6th

today is the las day of PMR and the lil 'pau'= bun, my fav form three junior has yet to return my scientific calculator causing me major problems for yesterday's additional math paper one and two. i was using my sister's calculator which was the newer model - 570 than to my old 350. darns... i had to search fer all the functions. and after sitting fer my EST exams which was till eight o clock a.m , i went back home and started work in the office.

there was so much invoices and recording yet to be done and...my mom, as usual went on nagging about how stressful her life is and she will tell me all about her new (and old) discoveries or secrets she found within the company. my face may look as if i'm o-so-interested! but reli... i was resisting the temptation of rolling my eyes, walking out of the office, or just start screaming at her. i'm not a rude or disrespectful child but she really brings out the worst in me. i love her as my mom, but it doesnt mean i love every thing she says and does. dad and i shared a few of the same opinions on mom. she is becoming too obsessive of the company. she thinks that the accountant and ex-secretary is conspiring against us. she is becoming a extreme workaholic - she works from seven thirty till six pm then continues from eight pm till eleven. wad d heck!? no wonder the house is in a mess, we hadnt had a proper home cooked meals fer months, and the friday family fun is so gone!

at eleven am, i went to my bedroom and fell asleep till Joyce came pounding on my door : "ce! telephone!" i walked all the way downstairs thinking.... why cant it be my handphone?! its the new era! we should be taking adva... " hello? oh..hey yvonne... yea..lets go out...where? oh yea...okie...take d bus? seriously? u take a bus? hahahaha! ok ok.. your dad send us? sure...bye" forget wad i sed abt handphones.... lets see a movie!

i took a cold shower, don a black U-neck shirt and navy blue jeans and nearly opted for a silk red handbag...heheh! but then i took the nude coloured one. i tied my hair in to a neat and tight pony tail. finally had a chance to wear my new earrings!

" lets watch this! hahah! they said its reli funny! its the last screening la wei~ yvonne, u sure u wanna watch this? sure ar... no i havent eaten lunch, i forgot. help me buy drink?" then i paid for the tickets to You,Me and Dupree. " Steam! Steam!" i turned around to see my lil 'Pau' ! hahahah! yea...together we're Steam Pau. dun ask y....cuz i forgot how it all started.

the movie rating fer the movie You,Me n Dupree? four n a half outta five! teehee!

i absolutely love the movie! its so major sweet! and touching... anf darn funny! i reli needed to watch a comedy to wind down and i enjoyed the movie! Yvonne was sitting on her hands cuz of the cold. and the dude sitting in front of us has a major contagious laugh! hahah! Owen Wilson is a great actor and cute too! Matt Dillon is so sweeeet! Micheal Douglas is just a classic actor. he along with Robin Williams ,Sean Connery and Julie Andrews. Kate Hudson is fantastic! she and Reese Witherspoon are my top two favs!

after the flick, went around shopping and i saw this reli nice shoe(vincci) ,jacket(mng), necklace (iora) and sling bag (adidas). hehehe! went home by Yvonne's dad's car. reli sporting and funny teacher :P

" LAW!? excuse me?! say wha..? u gotta be kidding! " i giggled.
" what? reli bah*...... i reli think u have the stuff." he said seriously.
i'm like so...... flattered. "gee...thanks. but...wads the 'stuff'?" teeheez!
" the way you talk, look and behave?" he looked at me as if he knew i wasn't taking him seriously. not that i dont want to.with that, i couldnt reli bother to take it all in anymore. Law is just sooo out of my grasp. and alot of ppl taking law up as though its the easiest thing to do. in fact, in my family, theres four lawyers and ALL of them said its 110% NOT like Ally Mcbeal or Boston Legal! they work both locally and overseas. so i rather not be one. my dad is not a qualified lawyer but he had studied law unofficially and.... he represents himself in court (no surprise) after being in there a quarter of a million times. and recently, i attended a hearing and it reli fascinated me and my dad kinda saw it. so i think he is actually considering forcing me head into it. i wont. dun bother trying.

"i wanna do business management." i stood my ground.
" why? what management do you want to be involve with? cant you decide on a more professional career?"
" its pretty professional to me! besides what the hell am i to be if not business?"
"tourism. the tourism industry."
" what!?"
the images of dirty laundry, kitchens, and receptionists made me wanna drop dead.
" not that kinda job, u silly ox! i meant hotel management. you can do a specialist hotel management studies which i think you can easily grasp."
" oh thanks fer the praise on my lil brain, dad. you have SO much confidence in me."
i hadnt much complains about tht. but wads the effing diff with business and hotel MANAGEMENT? i shud have made him faint and sed 'dogwalker'!

i woke up, walked to the toilet and saw....saw.... a cockroach! on the wall.... i screamed. i didnt mean to. my mom glared at me while the hero of the day = Joyce(lil sister!) just used the slipper and smacked it dead. omg! my clean wall.... i was itching to spray dettol! but...hurray! its dead and the best thing was... it fell from the wall straight unto the dustpan. so i conveniently dumped it into the bin. my lil sister rolled her eyes, washed her hands and feet and went into her room to sleep again. while brushing my teeth i kept looking around to see if theres another one.

gosh... tht is just the few reasons why i hate moving into new houses. its not the NEW, as in just built. NEW as in i just moved in. this blardy bungalow hasnt been occupied fer some years and my dad bought it for.... nvm. u get it. to my misery, the toilet fer me and my second sister had bugs. i think its the hole... u noe the one where water gets flowed out? wads it called again? sewage pipe? omg...forget it... i'm getting so scared of the bugs. not that it appears in the hundreds but once in a blue moon. heck, i've made sure the toilet is cleaned nearly daily with detergent and dettol! call me a cracko but i feel more safe from those critters after the washes. Tiramisu aka Lucky, my lil dawg learned to do the 360 degree turn on two feet and has been doin it alot lately. plus he can beg? like he puts his front paws together and shakes it up n down as if to ask fer an angpow. and he knows sit, down, stay(not for long), and come. thts alot fer the small furball. he's getting so furry i cud just skin him alive.

Sila dimaklumkan : Blog ini akan dikurangkan aktiviti mulai haribulan 1 Oktober sehingga 30 November. Inilah kerana pemilik blog akan menghadapi peperiksaan SPM tidak lama lagi dan haruslah berusaha mengulangkaji sebanyak 10 subjek ( yang semua pun tidak digemari pemilik). Harap semua yang menduduki peperiksaan SPM tahun ini pun berusaha sedaya upaya masing-masing dan semoga berjaya. Selamat Hari Raya dan Deepavali. Salam Sejahtera!

hahahahahahahahhahhahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaah!

[.light a candle please.]

be a sweetie and help others in need by lighting a candle. like what we learn in moral studies, children should grow up the best they can be.dont let them be tortured or worst, sexually abused. the aim is to light A MILLION candles by the 31st of December.