to this date

Doing the morning DJ job is NOT easy! Its absolute madness or mental torture (to me la).
I have to arrive at skewl at 6.20 am! Argh! When I normally reach skewl 6.45am. grrrr…. It’s frustrating but I kinda like d job tho… heheh! I get to play music (with a lot of procedures and restrictions) and sing along in the PA room. I get to study in peace, by myself too.

Hmm… not a lot is happening actually. Just the usuals…tests, exams, gerak gempurs and now! Trials!!! Not to forget tuitions, revision and more extra classes in skewl. Madness… I reli dunno if I’ll survive till after SPM. Haihz…

Is it reli that bad? I’ve been there, done that. yet, still the saying : “ once burnt , twice shy.” Doesn’t apply on me. Why is dat? Hmm… maybe so far, it wasn’t true love. The guy I reli want to be with, is the forbidden fruit. Some one I cant be with. Why? One, my sister(s) do not approve of him. two, my mom thinks he’s a lil too eccentric. Three, my dad doesn’t know and doesn’t approve me dating but! Sorry, I’ve been doing tht since std6. whoopedo~

And myself? Yeah, I do want to get it on with him but like my mom I do think he is a bit eccentric. But that only adds to his appeal? O well, one man’s meat is another man’s poison. I find him different yet still alluring. Not in the sense of sexy or hot but safe and fun. Those who met him can agree with that.

I find myself talking to him like a friend but deep down, I’m always wondering : “ tell him or not to tell?” when I do finally have the guts to tell him, something pops up and spoils it all…..

argh…..! the first time I wanted to spill the truth, he was so excited and blurted that he was currently celebrating his graduation and good grades – distinction.

The second time was when he ruined my perfect plan by telling abt his problem with two gurls and a guy…no, he aint gay.

And the last time was when I was alredi in KL fer a week long vacation. I was ready to do it face to face (we were in a vehicle), and before I told him, we had a car accident. OHMYGOSH! The sheer frustration. I am so close to giving up. I’ve never met or heard another girl as unlucky as I am when trying to tell the truth! Hahahahah! I had other boyfriends and gosh….life is so much more easier but! Darn-it! My heart still lies with that fella! *slaps forehead*

now dat trials one is over...i can finally let my hair down.... gosh...so hectic. papers came flowing back and wow , i'm kinda pleased actually. i still cant pass additional math, i reli cant fathom why..

i was walking home one afternoon, when it it started to drizzle, the road was kinda wet so i lifted my baju kurung skirt slightly higher passing by this skewl, a guy came up and walk backwards, facing me and asked :" why are u lifting ur skirt like dat? u ok?"

i looked at him and was like thinking that this has got to be those guys that flirt outrageously to ANY girl. " its raining and the skirt is getting wet, just go away." i replied rather sweetly. he continue walking backwards and asked if i was the gurl who cycles to skewl, and i muttered yeah. " where u live? i walk u dere." i rolled my eyes and looked at him, ......hey! great brownish honey eyes! ... and told him no thanks but he persisted but now is walking normally. we passed the second skewl when i sed, " i stay on the second housing lane. you?" and he sed : " oh. i dont stay in this area." argh! hahahahahahah! he was sweet but too, er.... not my type. i'm like,major fussy. and yes! i love to look at the guy's eyes first! hehehe! major turn on~ anyway, i bought another dress! its so retro~