I feel that friends are such a blessing to me. But a best friend, is a rare privilege that not many of us are given with. Its like a prince being crowned the king yet not all princes become kings…so yeah, I feel that I’m blessed and given this rare privilege to have friends and best friends.

Let just say, I’ve evolution-ized. Haahaa! I became very sociable and gained gradual confidence day by day after I left KL. It was hard not to! I came back to my hometown with healthy faith in God, a secure relationship with my best friends all around, and a happy family. I applaud myself now when I look back in my third year in high skewl. I got results I reli thought I cud not have achieved. Everybody was proud and I was happy.

Things kinda crumbled when I entered the fifth and final year of high skewl.

Problems surfaced in the company which we thought were impossible as the senior staffs we have employed for the last three decades and they had shown unquestionable loyalty, have been suspected and is showing signs of fraud. They were given shares of the company as token of gratitude and appreciation of loyalty to my father after the depression of the economy a decade ago. They went on for nearly two years without pay but still worked hard. Its painful to know tht they have recently been found committing offences under the company’s name. After being found out, they began to threaten to take over the company. I know my mom and elder sister is worried and angry, so am I but sumhow,dad isn’t too bothered! He had hinted that he is tired of runnin this business and wants to continue his new one instead.I want to fight for this company because heck! Its also a part of my life! It suppose to be a huge part of his life too! He breathed life into this company and I grew up amongst it! From a speck of dust till it’s a full fledged building! He worked like an obsessed man to make his dream come true! And now that it is true, why not keep it alive? Than to discard it?! Oh gosh….i dunno.

Then I had a minor but disturbing exchange of words with my best friend. Being concerned when I sensed that sumthing was amiss, I questioned him. Being blasted for a reply, I left him alone to give him space. Honestly hurt, I still gave him the benefit of the doubt n waited for an explanation or an apology. I waited for days. Nothing. I asked gently and again, we had a misunderstanding. Most people pointed fingers but I cudnt be bothered. I sent a mail to him and the reply was one word- “sorry”. I thought all would be all right. Hah, what a naïve thought! My hp still doesn’t ring of his sms and my messenger doesn’t bleep of his message. I really cant say tht I’ve lost another best friend cuz I hardly give up on anything I’ve committed myself to, be it human or life goals. I don’t want to lose this special friend. I give so many reasons for this misunderstanding to resolve, tho knowing that things don’t usually come out the way I want it. But at least I’ll try my best. Yet people tell me to let go and its like a bucket of cold water dumped over my head. Dunt YOU fight for wad u reli cherish or want?! I dun want to lose a frien, or a best friend in this case. I dun wanna lose those memories and another part of my life again. I know how it feels and its like reliving the wounds in the past but twice the pain.

Now, becoming a tad distant and cold with a best friend is a distasteful ordeal for me. When I totally lost my first best friend. I lost a part of my vibrant childhood life too. Learning my lesson, I promised myself never to let myself feel that pain again. It was great to have best friends once again. It is a state of constant warmth and security I want and need. These special frenships has an effect on me which is not overpowering nor is it too scant, it satisfies both parties. ;)

For two weeks, I felt blue…or black. Whichever is appropriate. I decided to cheer myself up by signing up for the skewl badminton competition. I smiled when I signed up. I haven’t played in years! But I know I’ve always loved it and had excelled in it before. I thought: “ why not? Its not like I’ll win a hundred dollar cash prize”…it’ll cheer me up!it was set on a Tuesday, and I had fun being both the referee and the player. In the middle of the game, my handphone had rung of an sms. I ignored it, thinking it was a skewl mate asking how’d the game had gone. After the games, I felt exhilarated and cycled home. That euphoria that glowed about kinda dissipated after discovering Clyde had passed away I checked my inbox and it clearly stated he died and I just burst into tears. It was like losing another best friend. I just sat at the porch with tears running down my face, looking at an empty doghouse and garden.